You Can Too with James Brackin IV

Transcript

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Your intuition is like a still small voice, and the more that you trust it, the louder that voice gets, and so the more that you can trust that intuition.

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For so many people, they don't trust it when they hear it, and so that voice gets smaller and quieter.

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And so, when opportunities arise in their life, they don't see them or they don't trust themselves to step into them because they're not listening to their intuition.

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Welcome to The Wayfinder Show with Luis Hernandez, where guests discuss the why and how of making changes that lead them down a more authentic path or allow them to level up in some area of their life.

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Our goal is to dig deep and provide not only knowledge, but actionable advice to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

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Come join us and find the way to your dream life.

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Welcome back to the Wayfinder show.

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I'm your host, Luis Hernandez.

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And today we're joined by James Bracken IV, and he is the host of the You Can Too podcast.

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On his pod, he shares inspiring stories from exceptional individuals to explore what they've overcome, are currently overcoming, and they show you how you can too.

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Coming up on nearly 300 episodes, You Can Too has featured Interviews with notable guests such as Seth Godin, Hollywood medium Tyler Henry, Matt D'Avella, Noah Kagan, Gary Brekka, Evan Carmichael, Bruce Lipton.

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Case Kenny, Derek Sivers, Mark Sisson, and James Altucher, and many more.

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Wow, that's a big mouthful.

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James, welcome to the Wayfinder Show.

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Man, it's so great to be with you.

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Thank you for having me.

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I'm excited for this conversation.

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We've been connected for a while and just excited to chat.

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Yeah, likewise.

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Yeah, and you've sent us a lot of great guests for our show as well.

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And, so I'm really grateful to you for that.

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Thank you very much.

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Let's just, I'm I can't, I know you've gotten this question a million times, but I got to ask, like, how do you get some of these are like the biggest thought leaders in the world right now, right?

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Especially like in the business, marketing space and all and such.

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How have you been able to get them on your show?

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Yeah, it's a great question.

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The podcast that I was going to have right after this conversation was with a guy named Greg Brayden, who is a massive, massive person in spirituality and consciousness and all that other kind of stuff.

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So I think a lot of it really has just been, I really say it's the, it's doing the work.

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A lot of people want like a, a really simple answer.

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Like my pitch is perfect or people just love me or whatever.

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I don't know what they're looking for with that answer.

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But most of it is just reaching out and following up.

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There was a Chris Voss, who's the FBI negotiator.

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I, it took me a whole year to get him on the show, just following up month after month.

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And so many people, Seth Godin, so many others that just, it took a long.

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Time to get them on.

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And I think just giving people a reason to come on.

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I think a lot of podcasts are just releasing an episode and hoping to have a person on that podcast, but not really looking for why do I want this person on my show?

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What kind of impact can they bring to my audience?

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And how can my mission, collaborate with their mission.

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And so that's what I try to do.

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I try to make it make sense for them.

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Cause I started my podcast when I was 17 years old, like they have no reason to come on my show.

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So I guess my, my, my thought is how can I make this a win for them as just much as it's a win for me as well.

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Yeah.

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Oh, that's such sage advice.

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It's incredible that you started at 17 and that our listeners don't know this.

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I asked you before the show but when we start putting the video out there, they'll see you're a young guy yourself.

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That was only four years ago.

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I think you've been our youngest guest now but with an incredible amount of success.

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And luckily now we can go have a beer together, but I couldn't have done that too long ago, But yeah, how did you, I'm just curious, how did you start coming up with this?

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I know you didn't start the show by having all of these big guests on, you started doing it yourself.

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And what was the inspiration and what led to, to where it went?

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Yeah.

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I think so it was 105 solo episodes and I think that gave me a lot of credibility to then reach out to people and say, Hey, I've done a hundred episodes.

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They don't need to know if I had a person on or if it was solo episodes, but just showing up week after week doing the work and really it shows commitment and resilience and showing up because most podcasts don't even get past episode seven, let alone episode 100.

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And so you're doing amazing things as well by just literally showing up.

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Just doing the work.

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Coming down this route, it was something that I felt called to do.

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Really it wasn't something that I felt that I needed to do or something that I didn't really think it was much of an option.

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It was more of I need to do this.

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And I don't really know how to explain that much.

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It was, like a calling.

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I think growing up, I told my mom, my sister, when I was really, young, and I don't remember telling my mom, my sister have told me this, as I've gotten more into this space, that I used to tell them I want to be a motivational speaker.

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And the more I grow up, the less that really resonates with me, but in some shape or form, that's what I've done through coaching and through podcasting.

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I've just, put my What I feel downloaded into the world and providing an outlet for other people to do the same.

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And so it was more of a, an affirmation.

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I told myself you can too just by seeing other people do extraordinary things.

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And we're always told to question our ability and to doubt ourselves.

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and everything else.

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And so I think the core of what most people really need is belief in themselves, belief in what is possible, and belief in the future.

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And so that's what I hope to instill, and by doing that for myself, and hopefully doing it for others as well.

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So it was more of something I felt like I needed to do.

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It wasn't really much of an option, if that makes sense.

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It makes a lot of sense.

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Yeah.

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Did you ever have the feeling being as young as you are, reaching out to these, these thought leaders who are at their prime?

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Hey, who am I to reach out to these people?

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Do you know that kind of imposter syndrome?

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Yeah people have asked me a lot and honestly, no I've never once thought who am I to speak with this person like Seth Godin, for example, he responded within 30 minutes Yeah, and he goes on a good amount of podcasts that are over 100 episodes And so I knew that I had to wait until 100 episodes to at least reach out to him but I think I joined a coaching program before I even got into podcasting.

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That was what really gave me the courage to start it.

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And so investing into a coaching program more money than I had in my bank account, more than double I had in my bank account.

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It was like I'm taking a leap on myself to step into coaching.

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I can do the exact same thing when it comes to podcasting.

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And no, I think it was my worst thought is, okay, they say no.

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And they say, no what really is the downside of that?

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I, my mindset has always been from the start is it's not, if it's going to happen, it's when it's going to happen.

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So even the people that have said no, thus far in three years from now, I bet there'll be on the show.

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And we probably before that, a lot of the guests that I've had on thus far, I didn't think I'd be able to get so soon.

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And so I know, I think it's always just when it's.

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Going to happen mindset.

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Yeah.

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Oh, man, that's really great I think a lot of us suffer from You know what I described, you know that imposter syndrome like when I was young it was because I was too young now I'm old and I think oh i'm too old, and But we all suffer from that kind of thing But I think when you're successful it really is when you just can just stick to it and persevere and you know that's how I was able to get my best Partner in life my wife just keep going after her so she said yes, right?

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Like Eventually you're doing the right things to align yourself to get these folks To be in your world.

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So yeah me being naive in the beginning was something that really helped me because it was like it was never a thought out of I mean if they say no, it's it's Rejection is just allowing you to say like honestly, I seen it.

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I did a course not too long ago On getting guests because I've had so many people ask me and one of the things I speak about is Rejection is probably a good thing because a lot of the people that I've got told no Is just reminding me that i'm probably not ready to have them on the podcast I wouldn't be able to provide the conversation that they deserve to be able to impact my audience in the way that I want to.

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And I think it's more of a blessing than anything, because it just reminds me that I need to keep going.

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Excellent.

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I wonder, what there's something about that 100th episode you mentioned.

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I think, actually, we met after I Without my hundredth episode it was around the year mark you reached out to us and said hey We got this great guest congratulations, and I think it was a year or a hundred episodes I can't remember and and that just launched that took us to a whole nother level like from there More people started reaching out.

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We got we our guest started get it we're bigger names.

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It just really took us to a different level.

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What is it that you think such milestones, what is it about them that they represent that really take us to another level?

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I think it shows that there is, I think it's have you ever heard of Infinite Games by Simon Sinek?

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That mindset, I've never read the book.

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I actually have the book, but I haven't read it.

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That perspective, I think has, really resonated so deeply with me.

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And I think for a lot of people it does when it comes to podcasting, because even if you have no sponsor, if you're not making Any kind of money from the podcast.

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If you're not building a business behind it, you're still getting something from the podcast, the conversations you learn so much.

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I, for me, probably for you, for a lot of podcasters, I find that before the podcast, they have energy.

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They're excited to have the conversation, but after the podcast, they even more, they have more energy than they had before it.

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And so it's a sign that it's something that's giving you energy, and a lot of people are doing things that drain their energy.

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And a hundred episodes, and you're still excited just as you were at the beginning, it just reminds you of how far you've come, how far you have to go, and just getting even more excited about the future, because once you're a hundred episodes in, you're deep into it.

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Most people don't even get to that point, and so I think it just, it reminds you of where you started and how excited you are for the future.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I wasn't a very disciplined person at your age, so that's why I really admire you.

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I wish I had your discipline, right?

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But as I got older, one of the things I learned try something that you're interested in for a year, and if you can commit to it for a year, and you're still excited, Or more excited than it typically will will be something that's worth a worthwhile pursuit, right?

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So that happened to me with my running vent journey.

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And then with the podcast after a year, I was much more excited than I, even when I started and now we're approaching two years and and I'm even more excited about what's good it's wild, but the way I started, also, is different than my reasons for starting are probably a little bit different than they are for continuing.

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Now, do you have that?

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Yeah, I think so.

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I think if you're, if your mind, if you're not open to changing your mind about why you're doing something, or what you want to do, I think you're just closing yourself off to so many more opportunities.

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And that can be in anything in business and life and relationships, whatever it may be.

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I think for me, the podcast is just, like I said, it gives me energy.

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It started off as like a public journal.

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Like I was learning so many things from working with coaching clients and working with coaches myself.

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Early on in my life that I just felt like I needed to give like a way of providing value to people and more So it was really for myself when I first started And now i'm doing more interviews and seeing it as a way to build relationships with people that I just wouldn't have otherwise been able to get in the room with and providing an outlet for people that You know are impacting so many other people and just finding my ways of doing so so yeah, absolutely I think it should change.

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Yeah, what i'm There's a few ways we can take this conversation, I'm curious about with you, but let's start with your origin story, because I'm just fascinated by the fact that you're getting coaching and such at a very early age, and I didn't think about getting coaching till like my 40s, right?

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And I know I'm not unusual, so what led you to that wisdom?

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Yeah, me either.

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I didn't even know what a coach was when I got my first coach.

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I just again, the me being naive, not knowing what it was, but knowing that what I've seen in so much of my life isn't what I wanted.

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I think one of the things growing up was I didn't really have There wasn't really anyone I looked to and thought, this is the kind of life I want to live, or they have this, they have a great relationship, or they have a really good job.

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There was no one in my life really that I saw.

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And so knowing that what was not working for so many other people was not the path I wanted to go down, I needed to do something different.

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I, ne throughout my entire schooling.

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And if you're seeing us on YouTube, you see how many books I have behind me.

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This is just like a third of how many books I have, because I realized there's forms and ways to rewrite my narrative about who I tell myself I am and what's possible for my life.

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And there's so many things that it's got excited about just this possibility of just creating so much impact for myself and for other people.

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And so I started reading books, started listening to podcasts and at the end of one of the podcasts, they were talking about a coaching program.

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Now I had no idea what a coach was, but it, like viscerally felt right to me.

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It just felt like the thing that I was supposed to do.

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I hopped on a sales call, I got sold, ended up in a coaching program not too long to learn how to become a coach.

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17 years old, I have no life experience, what gives me the right to be able to do that?

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Again, it was me being naive and not really thinking about who am I to do this, but more over the few years that I was like learning so much, I felt it would be a disservice, and one of my first coaches told me this, you do a disservice by not bringing your unique gifts into the world.

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And so that really stuck with me, because it made me think, If I am going to let my fear and my imposter syndrome, my self doubt, all of that kind of stuff hold me back, it's not only holding me back, but it's holding me back from helping the people that need my help.

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And when he framed it like that, it made me really rethink about, okay I'm dealing with everything that every person would deal with, and fear, anxiety, all that kind of stuff of, am I worthy of helping these kind of people?

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But when he put it in that kind of framing, it made me think I'm pretty selfish if I'm not going to help people, because I need to get out of my own way.

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And That's how I got into coaching.

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And then once I realized that I started, I thought if I'm going to start posting on social media for my coaching, I might as well start the podcast because I've always felt inclined to do that.

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And so that's how I went down that path, but I definitely didn't know what a coach was and didn't have any intention of doing it either, but it was I knew college wasn't the path for me.

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I knew I wanted to create a life that was not like anyone that I knew.

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And I had to do something no one else really did, so everyone went this way, and I went a completely different way.

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Wow.

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What were the early influences?

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People, podcasts, books, what what?

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What were they that really started to change?

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Yeah Eckhart Tolle, Joe Dispenza a lot of those kind of people that really just made me rethink my internal narrative about myself and about how I felt about myself, how I felt about the future, about the world that kind of stuff.

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My first coach was a guy named Rob Dial, who hosts the the Mindset Mentor Podcast.

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Hundreds of millions of downloads one of the biggest podcasts in the world and it's just similar to me It was just a public journal.

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He doesn't really do Interviews, he just rambles on whatever he feels people need to hear and resonated with me at the time Doesn't really resonate with me anymore, but I was really helpful for my evolution at that age for sure So now it looks like about halfway through your journey You went from it being a personal journal to more of just interview style and it seems like now it's mostly interviews what a I'm curious as to along not now that most it's probably about half and half It looks like your episodes or personal journal versus interview style.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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How do you feel about each style?

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And what do you feel you're gonna go to moving forward with it?

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Yeah, I think it's right now.

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It's pretty much one interview a week, and then every when I feel like doing a Solo episode I'll put one out there.

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I haven't really felt Excited about doing it and so I'm leaning into what feels right for me right now, and that's doing interviews And I think for me it's interviews or something.

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I've really find it.

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It is an infinite game It's like even if I were to lose and whatever that means in podcasting I am connecting with people that I would have no way of connecting with no possibility of getting in the room if I didn't have a way of providing value to them.

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And so the podcast is that way of providing value to people that I would just have no way of getting in contact with.

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And so I felt the more I doubled out on that, the more relationships I'm able to build, the more people I will be able to get on and the more people that I'll be able to impact through their audience and others and stuff like that.

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And so I found it's a little bit.

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So for me to impact more people, it seems like the progressive route to go down.

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Yeah.

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There's a couple of recurring themes as you answer some of these questions.

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And one of them with you is, you just have a natural, like an incredible self awareness and self confidence and, intuitiveness about.

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It doesn't seem like you actually have a plan laid out, you just go with what, what feels right in your gut.

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Is that fair?

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Very.

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Yeah.

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How, where does that come from?

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I don't know.

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I, think when I, feel like I live two lives, if that makes sense.

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They say that you live two lives and the second one starts when you realize you only have one.

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Growing up, I lost a lot of family.

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My father, uncle both passed at 37 years old, grandfather passed a few months before his retirement.

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And so I saw mortality.

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age, multiple different times, completely unexpected.

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And so it was like life showing me just putting it straight in my face.

00:18:38.483 --> 00:18:43.314
Hey, you have to listen to yourself when you feel this is the thing that you should do.

00:18:43.384 --> 00:18:51.874
And when I went down the coaching route, it was the first time I actually trusted my intuition in something that my entire life I never had.

00:18:52.193 --> 00:19:01.378
And so ever since then, I've never really been a I've never, I'm never when people ask me because I'm so young, where are you going to be five, 10 years from now?

00:19:01.469 --> 00:19:08.378
I can't predict where I'm going to be a month from now, physically or mentally or job wise, whatever it may be.

00:19:08.378 --> 00:19:10.209
Like I know I'm going to be in Columbia next month.

00:19:10.509 --> 00:19:12.679
I don't know where I'm going to be in February, still undecided on that.

00:19:12.919 --> 00:19:19.138
And so it, to think about where I'm going to be five years, 10 years down the road, it just could never be.

00:19:20.898 --> 00:19:30.269
It can never be concrete and so trusting my intuition and just going going with the flow going day to day and going with what feels right feels like the only thing that I can do.

00:19:30.338 --> 00:19:41.858
And most of the spiritual leaders that I speak to, it seems like they're on a similar path just trusting what they feel their heart wants them to move towards and not letting their mind make them second guess what they think they should do.

00:19:42.413 --> 00:19:51.173
Because I think everyone knows deep down what they, what is the right path for them, but that's what a meditation teacher said in my podcast is your intuition is like a still small voice.

00:19:51.364 --> 00:19:53.503
And the more that you trust it, the louder that voice gets.

00:19:55.048 --> 00:20:15.949
The more that you can trust in intuition for so many people they don't trust it when they hear it And so that voice gets smaller and quieter And so when opportunities arise in their life They don't see them or they don't trust themselves to step into them because they're not listening to their intuition And so I think the more I can do it Just the more I'll feel in alignment with myself Even if it isn't the quote unquote right path to go down at what's what feels right in the moment.

00:20:16.449 --> 00:20:19.864
Yeah Wow, there is just incredible amount of wisdom there, right?

00:20:20.193 --> 00:20:28.054
Many of us we spend our whole lives trying to uncover what you've already realized so early on.

00:20:28.114 --> 00:20:29.913
It's just incredibly enviable.

00:20:31.683 --> 00:20:45.183
So what are some of the as your journey, as you've grown tremendously, what are some of the influences you look at now, that you've uncovered that weren't there four years ago?

00:20:47.894 --> 00:20:48.473
Who are they?

00:20:48.923 --> 00:20:49.574
And what are they?

00:20:49.663 --> 00:20:50.423
That's a big question.

00:20:51.364 --> 00:20:51.834
Yeah.

00:20:53.814 --> 00:21:00.923
Someone that has been very pivotal in my life, I just look back because I have so many freaking books of people that have impacted me.

00:21:01.153 --> 00:21:02.513
I think there's so many, honestly.

00:21:02.534 --> 00:21:17.314
I think the one thing that I've done really a lot this year, I went to Hawaii for about four months this year, and My time there made me really connect with myself and almost disconnect from outsour outside sources, books, podcasts, all that kind of stuff.

00:21:17.784 --> 00:21:23.094
And so I think more than ever the person that I look to is more of myself.

00:21:23.784 --> 00:21:24.544
If that makes sense.

00:21:24.723 --> 00:21:33.163
I'm always looking out for new information and I'm never concrete on what I believe to be true, but I think just my intuition has developed even more and my trust within myself has really grown.

00:21:33.824 --> 00:21:42.173
And so I think it's more so of finding a way to not look outward so much for the answers, but trusting what I feel is the answer within myself.

00:21:42.923 --> 00:21:44.104
Do you have a practice for that?

00:21:44.104 --> 00:21:45.423
Meditation or anything?

00:21:48.023 --> 00:21:56.364
Yeah, meditation visualization, going on walks without headphones breath work, so many things.

00:21:56.614 --> 00:22:01.054
Yeah, but meditation has been a real a real big thing for me and visualization in that sense.

00:22:01.443 --> 00:22:01.824
Yeah.

00:22:01.973 --> 00:22:03.134
Any regular routines?

00:22:03.939 --> 00:22:05.868
Morning routines, evening routines.

00:22:06.269 --> 00:22:06.769
Yeah.

00:22:09.439 --> 00:22:14.548
After I, every single day after I eat breakfast, I go on like a digestion walk, I guess you could call it.

00:22:14.588 --> 00:22:15.709
And I, pray.

00:22:16.749 --> 00:22:21.888
And then usually most days I've, probably meditated over 150 hours this year.

00:22:24.153 --> 00:22:28.213
So meditations definitely played a massive role and meditation can look like going on a walk with no headphones.

00:22:28.213 --> 00:22:32.923
It's anytime that I'm not listening to anything because I find that's a meditation.

00:22:32.923 --> 00:22:34.384
You can be doing dishes and that's a meditation.

00:22:34.384 --> 00:22:35.523
It's just being where you are.

00:22:35.703 --> 00:22:42.913
And I think a lot of people, we're always, we're have, we're watching YouTube or we're listening to a podcast or we're listening to music.

00:22:43.614 --> 00:22:44.894
We're always having something in our ears.

00:22:45.243 --> 00:22:50.314
And so how are we ever going to be able to develop that intuition within ourselves if we always have something outside of us that we're listening to?

00:22:50.614 --> 00:22:53.864
And so just spending more time with myself and developing that for sure.

00:22:55.403 --> 00:22:55.733
Yeah.

00:22:57.134 --> 00:23:00.023
So you got a lot of books there, even though that's only a third of them.

00:23:00.074 --> 00:23:13.094
What if you were to pick three from the pile that you'd make have had the most influence on your life or that you'd recommend to others, what would that be?

00:23:13.923 --> 00:23:14.324
Yeah.

00:23:14.953 --> 00:23:16.233
Breaking the habit of being yourself.

00:23:16.864 --> 00:23:25.604
Joe Dispenza is one that I think, even if you were to read half of it, the first half of that book, it would change the way that you think about yourself entirely.

00:23:26.683 --> 00:23:28.183
That book was so transformational for me.

00:23:28.183 --> 00:23:35.564
Even when I first read it, I didn't even understand what it meant, but it like, really resonated with me at a deep subconscious level.

00:23:37.064 --> 00:23:37.693
So that's one.

00:23:38.743 --> 00:23:42.584
Another one that I recommend a lot is Psycho Cybernetics by a guy named Maxwell Maltz.

00:23:42.703 --> 00:23:45.233
That came out in 1964, I think.

00:23:45.284 --> 00:23:46.144
It's a real old one.

00:23:47.854 --> 00:23:48.913
But that one's a really big one.

00:23:48.913 --> 00:23:57.453
I think for a lot of people that are maybe not so confident or self conscious or they're in their thoughts a lot, I think would be a really helpful book, which is most people.

00:23:58.013 --> 00:24:21.199
And then the third one is a mix between to I've actually made a YouTube video on this not too long ago of obstacles the way I remember reading that book and it was just such an amazing reminder of how much our perspective really just, it really shapes our life experience as a whole and I don't think we put that into, we don't take responsibility for that enough in our lives, our perspective.

00:24:21.199 --> 00:24:24.348
And then lastly, I would say a new earth by Eckhart Tolle.

00:24:24.868 --> 00:24:35.923
That's a book that I have constantly said that if I were to read that book every single day and just read a few pages of it My suffering that I experience in this life would decrease immeasurably.

00:24:36.513 --> 00:24:39.673
Because it's just a reminder of so many things that we need to be reminded of.

00:24:40.513 --> 00:24:40.824
Really?

00:24:40.824 --> 00:24:41.423
I haven't read that.

00:24:41.483 --> 00:24:43.253
I haven't actually read any of them.

00:24:43.653 --> 00:24:44.983
No, I read Obstacles Away.

00:24:45.653 --> 00:24:49.844
But Eckhart Tolle, I think, is more well known for The Power of Now, right?

00:24:51.243 --> 00:24:52.183
Which is a pretty transformational book.

00:24:52.183 --> 00:24:52.733
Power of Now.

00:24:52.763 --> 00:24:53.243
Yes, sir.

00:24:53.284 --> 00:24:56.653
I think this Yeah, it was amazing.

00:24:57.334 --> 00:25:16.084
So I would say that a new earth is like just a different form and just different sayings of The power of now because all of his work is just reminding you to get back to where you are and let go of You know the thoughts that were we identify with and so that's why I say that because so much we're so identified I'd that we're never really conscious.

00:25:16.104 --> 00:25:17.753
And so that book's a good reminder for sure.

00:25:18.423 --> 00:25:18.923
Interesting.

00:25:19.534 --> 00:25:54.449
It's a another interesting thing I posted on our weekly newsletter this week Today is one of my favorite things to do is just stop by a good bookstore I use this particular used bookstores and this past weekend I went and stopped by one and found the magic of thinking big which is a book I'd always heard about but I never read but it was like I got the first edition one from 1959 there And in there, it's pretty neat to see how they wrote books then and in the back page is the author's favorite five books on there.

00:25:54.919 --> 00:25:57.848
And one of them that was on there was Psycho Cybernetics.

00:25:58.509 --> 00:26:02.479
So I had never heard of this book and I made a note to, hey, look it up.

00:26:02.479 --> 00:26:07.169
So now it's funny how in one week I'm hearing a reference to that book twice.

00:26:07.243 --> 00:26:08.874
I have to check it out.

00:26:09.544 --> 00:26:12.814
Yeah, I I've read The Magic of Thinking Big as well.

00:26:13.993 --> 00:26:14.544
Great book.

00:26:14.554 --> 00:26:19.483
And it's just, again, so much of books, and this is why I said it earlier when you asked me of who do I look to now?

00:26:20.013 --> 00:26:29.223
So much of, I've read for so many years that this year I didn't read that much because it was when you get to a certain point, you realize that more information isn't the answer.

00:26:29.223 --> 00:26:33.713
You just need to be reminded of the information that you already know.

00:26:34.094 --> 00:26:40.773
And Psycho Cybernetics was one of those books, though, that is Yeah, I listened to the audiobook of that.

00:26:40.773 --> 00:26:41.814
I don't have the physical copy.

00:26:41.864 --> 00:26:52.324
It's 11 hours long and I've It took forever to get through and there's so many concepts that are really difficult to internalize or want to really accept, but I think it's a book every single person needs to read, truthfully.

00:26:52.743 --> 00:26:53.104
Okay.

00:26:53.558 --> 00:26:53.969
Very good.

00:26:54.368 --> 00:26:59.148
And that was really wise your comment about that before as well, about it's true.

00:26:59.159 --> 00:27:03.318
All these self help books, once you read them they end up being the same thing, right?

00:27:03.669 --> 00:27:17.088
They just get repurposed, for generations really, how many, the habit forming books every 10 years there's a new one that comes out and it's the great new from atomic habits to the power of habit.

00:27:17.328 --> 00:27:18.608
It's essentially the same thing.

00:27:19.548 --> 00:27:25.419
And these are age old principles, I think that we all, Need to just absorb and internalize.

00:27:25.419 --> 00:27:29.769
So that's really wise what you're saying about maybe not taking it in and just absorbing it.

00:27:31.909 --> 00:27:50.949
Yeah, I think at the beginning it's really good to to, listen to books and to get new information because when you have no basis and your information is flawed, because we're all taught things that are not accurate or not helpful for our evolution, I think it's really good to have books to reframe what you think to be true and to question your beliefs for sure.

00:27:50.949 --> 00:27:54.068
But after a certain extent, I think it only leaves you.

00:27:54.473 --> 00:28:04.943
Seeking more when the answers are within, not outside, and I think that's something people don't really want to accept, so they continue to look outside, don't want to take responsibility, but yeah, for sure.

00:28:05.273 --> 00:28:07.023
Do you have a book in you and in your future?

00:28:08.263 --> 00:28:10.594
Absolutely, yeah.

00:28:11.134 --> 00:28:12.703
There's so many things I'd like to write on.

00:28:13.844 --> 00:28:14.943
Yeah, absolutely.

00:28:14.943 --> 00:28:20.324
I don't know when it'll be, I don't know how many it'll be, but I will absolutely be writing books in the future.

00:28:21.054 --> 00:28:22.624
Okay, very good.

00:28:23.114 --> 00:28:35.963
I'm curious with your perspective, we I, hate, I feel like I've been leading back towards, society and politics a little bit more lately, but I have to ask this.

00:28:36.263 --> 00:28:46.134
We've recently had, by the time this airs it'll we'll have a new president in place, so the election won't be as fresh.

00:28:46.523 --> 00:28:52.733
But I think we, had an election that was very surprising and shocking to a lot of people, right?

00:28:52.824 --> 00:28:54.784
And it's quite, it's.

00:28:55.153 --> 00:29:03.443
I'm talking, I'm going, I'm having a lot of conversations with different people on both sides of the aisle who are almost forming like a third side of the aisle now, right?

00:29:03.733 --> 00:29:09.683
And, it's really making people rethink the way they think about society, politics, all that.

00:29:09.693 --> 00:29:12.513
Maybe that it isn't a dualistic society.

00:29:13.624 --> 00:29:16.144
That there's people can be good and bad.

00:29:19.054 --> 00:29:22.374
There's more than just one or the other.

00:29:23.534 --> 00:29:26.673
So and with the way you're speaking, you speak to this, right?

00:29:26.683 --> 00:29:32.794
You're it's i'm curious about your take on society's awakening towards that right now.

00:29:36.144 --> 00:29:38.243
Yeah it's so timely.

00:29:38.243 --> 00:29:39.503
I had a podcast with a guy named.

00:29:39.513 --> 00:29:39.864
Dr.

00:29:40.163 --> 00:29:55.548
Kirk gray Last week and he wrote a book called outraged on politics and moral understanding and I might have to introduce you because it was such a fascinating conversation Because I think it is a it's a difficult thing for people to accept that there's duality in life.

00:29:55.568 --> 00:30:07.028
There's polarity There is good and bad and there's good and bad in everyone No one people don't want to believe that there's bad within themselves, but there's a dark side to every single one of us That's why there's the shadow and most people are unaware of it.

00:30:07.048 --> 00:30:11.638
I think It's difficult because we're fed.

00:30:11.788 --> 00:30:14.689
I think anything that we see in media is.

00:30:15.509 --> 00:30:18.009
usually an illusion in some way.

00:30:18.219 --> 00:30:24.159
It's, clouded by bias in so many ways that most people, we can't have conversations anymore.

00:30:24.179 --> 00:30:30.999
We can't, it's, so much more about our identity than it is about finding common ground.

00:30:31.159 --> 00:30:46.509
And I think that COVID really made it difficult because we got so detached from having conversations with people from the other side that we can't even initiate a conversation, let alone find or be open to being wrong.

00:30:46.749 --> 00:30:48.538
And I think that's what's really difficult is.

00:30:50.259 --> 00:31:00.763
When we're so identified with what we believe to be true, what we know to be true to ourselves, we're already Blocking ourselves off from another opportunity.

00:31:00.903 --> 00:31:06.913
And that's why, for me, I'm like so politically homeless because I, there's so many things that I believe on this side.

00:31:06.913 --> 00:31:10.574
There's so many things I believe on this side and there is no right thing for me.

00:31:10.574 --> 00:31:15.663
I think it's just more so about being able to being wrong.

00:31:15.683 --> 00:31:32.653
And I think in a world where we have to be so politically correct and we have to be so concrete in our beliefs that we're never going to find common ground for concrete and what we know to be true because We're not open to another opportunity or another way of being yeah.

00:31:33.693 --> 00:31:34.124
Yeah again.

00:31:34.124 --> 00:31:41.084
I think that's so wise you used a term They're politically homeless, which i've started to hear more and more and I think it's a great one.

00:31:41.084 --> 00:31:58.663
I feel like i've always been politically homeless and it wasn't I, tried to be a contrarian devil's advocate type anyways, just try to take the other side just because I think it keeps my mind more open, but when it comes to politics, especially in an election year, it's always, it's not acceptable, right?

00:31:58.663 --> 00:32:01.554
It's like you can't you, can't disagree.

00:32:02.094 --> 00:32:16.384
There's only one way with most people and it's alarming, but I think there's something about this particular election to happen that just really forced people to think, wow, like, why, what am I missing?

00:32:17.054 --> 00:32:18.923
And I think that's a very healthy thing.

00:32:18.933 --> 00:32:25.554
And I hope we, we start being politically homeless becomes socially acceptable and more of the majority.

00:32:25.804 --> 00:32:28.763
I think every party should have to earn our vote.

00:32:30.298 --> 00:32:38.269
Every single time, not just because, and not counting us identifying with a that member of that tribe, right?

00:32:41.338 --> 00:32:41.759
Yeah.

00:32:41.939 --> 00:32:49.973
I think the difficulty with that is when we are identified with a side, that being open to the other side is a betrayal to ours.

00:32:50.384 --> 00:32:55.864
And so then, it's a, it goes so much deeper than the fear of, is this right?

00:32:55.864 --> 00:32:56.493
Is this wrong?

00:32:56.493 --> 00:33:01.483
But it's more we need to have a tribe, because evolutionarily, we needed it.

00:33:01.784 --> 00:33:06.644
And so if we're on our side, but we're open to the other side, it's betrayal to our own side.

00:33:06.644 --> 00:33:09.874
And, but we don't want to get kicked from our side, because we're not gonna be accepted by the others.

00:33:11.269 --> 00:33:22.338
Side and so then we're lost and we're by ourselves and then we're not safe And so I think it's so much deeper than just being right or wrong or having certain political beliefs But so much deeper than people really recognize.

00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:23.419
That's for sure.

00:33:23.959 --> 00:33:26.939
Yeah, that's a hadn't even thought of it that way That's a great way to put it.

00:33:27.148 --> 00:33:27.459
Yeah.

00:33:27.999 --> 00:33:34.574
Yeah, we're at least we're afraid Of, being perceived as betraying that side, right?

00:33:34.574 --> 00:33:38.473
Because within family, we fight, we have different beliefs, we hold on, and we get back together.

00:33:38.473 --> 00:33:39.483
We're still family, right?

00:33:41.203 --> 00:33:42.044
But you're right.

00:33:43.074 --> 00:33:43.794
That's interesting.

00:33:44.673 --> 00:33:52.624
What about, so you I heard your episode on the wisdom you've gained from 200 episodes on your podcast.

00:33:53.324 --> 00:34:15.423
And you had a great question about, in there that, Maybe we'll start to incorporate on the Wayfinders show because I really liked it and it was about having a belief in something What is something you believe before that you don't have anymore, what you're working on now or and what's something that stayed the same and maybe even grown stronger?

00:34:16.543 --> 00:34:17.324
What are those for you?

00:34:20.693 --> 00:34:59.353
Yeah, I think the belief that I have Changed my mind on is that the answers I'm looking for outside of me when I first started I Was really looking outside of myself for answers from other people that were ahead of me and whatever that means in business As in life, and I was always looking outside of myself for about what I should do in business, about how I can help clients, about what I should do with the podcast, like so many other things, and there's so many people that have a lot of great information that you, I think coaches are amazing, I'm a coach, like I hire coaches, there's a reason for it, but I think at the end of the day, coaching is just a one of my coaches would tell me is it's permission and reminders.

00:34:59.373 --> 00:35:05.844
It's giving people the permission that they can give to themselves, but we fail to do so much and reminders about who you are deep down really inside.

00:35:05.893 --> 00:35:08.784
And I think a lot of the time we're trying to be ourselves.

00:35:08.784 --> 00:35:10.054
We're trying to become ourselves.

00:35:10.693 --> 00:35:12.344
But I think it's getting back to ourselves.

00:35:12.554 --> 00:35:15.943
And so I think that's the core thing that I really had to.

00:35:16.349 --> 00:35:21.159
unlearned and I'm continuously trying to remember in myself is that I have all the answers.

00:35:21.159 --> 00:35:27.179
That's why I've listened to less podcasts and haven't read many books this year because I'm not searching as much anymore.

00:35:28.469 --> 00:36:07.153
And the thing that has, The belief that's only got stronger is that our beliefs really shape our reality the more conversations that I have with people The more reminded that whatever we believe to be true about ourselves is almost always limiting And so if we can just not attach ourselves so much to what we believe to be true about ourselves There's so much more possibility and we are just we are so capable as humans And I'm I have a podcast like I said with a guy named Greg Brayden coming up soon and diving into his work I'm just continuously reminded of Just how inconceivably abundant we are as humans.

00:36:07.213 --> 00:36:11.344
And I just don't think that narrative is, talked nearly enough about.

00:36:13.793 --> 00:36:14.284
Amazing.

00:36:15.054 --> 00:36:22.673
So with that, let's go get into our Wayfinder four, just our four regular wife, our rapid fire questions.

00:36:23.634 --> 00:36:28.824
The first one is just a hack, that maybe using to cheat life with every day.

00:36:30.728 --> 00:36:33.409
Genuinely walks without headphones.

00:36:33.518 --> 00:36:42.228
If you have more conversations with yourself, like literally speaking to yourself as though, you're having a conversation.

00:36:42.228 --> 00:36:46.159
I just think having conversations with yourself, I think is really powerful.

00:36:47.539 --> 00:36:47.768
Great.

00:36:47.768 --> 00:36:48.739
How about a favorite?

00:36:49.688 --> 00:36:51.699
Could be book, show, activity.

00:36:52.369 --> 00:36:56.818
I just went to a Steelers game this weekend, so I am the biggest Steelers fan.

00:36:57.079 --> 00:36:57.719
Oh no.

00:36:59.349 --> 00:36:59.998
Favorite team.

00:37:00.018 --> 00:37:00.608
Yes, sir.

00:37:01.018 --> 00:37:02.509
But you're not from that area, right?

00:37:02.509 --> 00:37:03.378
You're from upstate New York?

00:37:03.844 --> 00:37:04.364
I'm not.

00:37:04.884 --> 00:37:14.313
I'm in New York, but my, my, like I said, my father passed when I was six, and he was the biggest Steelers fan, I got all of his Steelers stuff, and it was in my blood before I knew it.

00:37:15.344 --> 00:37:15.744
Okay.

00:37:15.934 --> 00:37:17.264
Yeah they're doing great.

00:37:18.313 --> 00:37:25.903
Yeah, they they're making I'm in Denver, and they made us look pretty dumb with letting, Russell Wilson.

00:37:26.014 --> 00:37:27.003
With Russ, yeah.

00:37:28.623 --> 00:37:31.293
What about a piece of advice for your younger self?

00:37:37.664 --> 00:37:38.534
I know that's not too long ago.

00:37:38.534 --> 00:37:39.634
It stayed true for a while.

00:37:40.384 --> 00:37:44.083
Yeah All that matters is how you feel about yourself when you're by yourself.

00:37:45.423 --> 00:37:46.043
Oh, wow.

00:37:47.304 --> 00:37:48.103
Elaborate on that.

00:37:49.884 --> 00:37:57.923
A lot of the time, we are driven by what we think other people think of us, yet we can Never actually know what they're thinking about us.

00:37:58.373 --> 00:38:21.063
We're and one of the biggest regrets of the dying is that I wish I lived a life true to myself and not one Others expected of me and we're so driven by what we think is the right thing to do what we think is politically, right socially whatever it is And we're so worried about what other people think of us That we don't think about the most important relationship that we have in our lives and that's with ourselves And so if nothing else, how is your relationship with yourself?

00:38:21.063 --> 00:38:23.164
And I don't think that's nearly prioritized enough.

00:38:25.534 --> 00:38:26.114
That's excellent.

00:38:26.423 --> 00:38:30.119
What about A big opportunity that you're pursuing right now.

00:38:34.208 --> 00:38:35.929
I, travel's big.

00:38:35.989 --> 00:38:49.128
I'm going to Austin, Texas next year for about a month for a emotional intelligence, coaching that I invested a lot of money into.

00:38:49.148 --> 00:38:55.159
So I would say that's the thing that's just most exciting or opportunity that I'm going to be diving into next year.

00:38:56.168 --> 00:38:58.838
And then the podcast and so many other things, but that's what's top of mind right now.

00:39:00.809 --> 00:39:09.088
Any, you seem to be very present, but I'm just curious any, big things with the podcast coming down the pipeline?

00:39:09.628 --> 00:39:11.699
Any changes, or you're just gonna follow the news?

00:39:14.978 --> 00:39:21.048
Yeah yeah, I'm gonna try to do some, I'm going to do some in person interviews next year, I haven't done the in person yet.

00:39:21.224 --> 00:39:24.143
So that's definitely something I'm looking forward to and excited about.

00:39:25.043 --> 00:39:27.594
Cause I think the energy is just a lot different in person versus online.

00:39:27.623 --> 00:39:30.994
I think online's awesome and it's provided me with the opportunity to speak with so many people.

00:39:31.173 --> 00:39:32.233

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