Transforming Lives with The Warrior's LIFE Code

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.019
The big opportunity for me is that I want to help millions of people be happy in their lives and in their business.

00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:09.830
Yeah.

00:00:10.339 --> 00:00:12.419
I used to say I want to make millions of dollars.

00:00:13.250 --> 00:00:13.740
I don't.

00:00:13.849 --> 00:00:18.839
I do, but I really want to help millions of people get there and by helping them, I help myself.

00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:22.149
The more people you help, the more you help yourself.

00:00:32.049 --> 00:00:43.450
Welcome to The Wayfinder Show with Luis Hernandez, where guests discuss the why and how of making changes that led them down a more authentic path or allow them to level up in some area of their life.

00:00:44.509 --> 00:00:52.429
Our goal is to dig deep and provide not only knowledge, but actionable advice to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

00:00:53.719 --> 00:00:56.369
Come join us and find the way to your dream life.

00:01:05.129 --> 00:01:36.769
Welcome back to the wayfinder show i'm your host louis hernandez and today i'm here with martin salama Martin is known as the architect of the warrior's life code he specializes in helping people frustrated in their life quickly shift their mindset to uncover their greatness So they can live their true potential and enjoy life Coaches and consultants hire him to bring order from chaos and empower them to embrace their leadership role as visionaries in their field and to stop being the bottleneck in their businesses.

00:01:37.948 --> 00:01:49.259
because they're tired of the stress from wearing all those hats constantly, putting out fires and dealing with inconsistent cash flow, Martin steps in to help them out with that.

00:01:49.358 --> 00:01:52.308
So, without further ado, Martin, welcome to the Wayfinder Show.

00:01:52.769 --> 00:01:53.599
Well, thank you, Louis.

00:01:53.599 --> 00:01:55.078
I'm excited to be here with you.

00:01:55.638 --> 00:01:55.879
Yeah.

00:01:55.879 --> 00:01:56.308
Thank you.

00:01:56.308 --> 00:01:57.278
I'm excited to be here too.

00:01:57.978 --> 00:02:05.299
So Martin, why don't, You have, quite a few acronyms and, you know, I called them off, but I didn't, say that they were acronyms.

00:02:05.418 --> 00:02:09.058
I'd love to start with just, the warrior's life code.

00:02:09.058 --> 00:02:10.929
And life, I understand, is an acronym.

00:02:10.959 --> 00:02:12.808
So, can you describe what it is?

00:02:13.568 --> 00:02:13.818
Sure.

00:02:13.979 --> 00:02:14.618
Absolutely.

00:02:14.618 --> 00:02:19.308
So for me, life stands for live incredibly full every day.

00:02:20.368 --> 00:02:25.838
And when I say that, I mean having a happy life and a meaningful life.

00:02:26.299 --> 00:02:33.758
And there's a big difference between the two because a happy life means self love, self care, even a certain amount of selfishness.

00:02:34.359 --> 00:02:35.028
Which is good.

00:02:35.068 --> 00:02:36.609
People think, Oh, you're always selfish.

00:02:36.609 --> 00:02:37.258
It's not a good thing.

00:02:37.579 --> 00:02:39.139
No, you need that in your life as well.

00:02:39.139 --> 00:02:40.929
You need to make sure you're taking care of yourself.

00:02:41.419 --> 00:02:41.709
Right.

00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:46.028
But the other side of the coin is the meaningful, right?

00:02:46.058 --> 00:02:47.778
Meaningful is selfless.

00:02:47.838 --> 00:02:54.408
What are you doing out there to move the world, move your community, move your family, whatever it is, what are you doing out there?

00:02:54.408 --> 00:02:56.788
That's not all tied to you.

00:02:57.489 --> 00:02:59.479
So live incredibly full every day.

00:02:59.528 --> 00:03:02.378
Life encompasses both of those things.

00:03:03.058 --> 00:03:03.378
Yeah.

00:03:03.378 --> 00:03:15.558
I think about this, you know, always in terms of the, the airplane when they tell you to put on it, when you get on, they tell you, Hey, if something happens, make sure you put on your mask first and then you can go help others.

00:03:15.609 --> 00:03:15.908
Right.

00:03:15.908 --> 00:03:19.269
And that's kind of how I, the analogy I always like best with that.

00:03:19.598 --> 00:03:19.739
It's a

00:03:19.739 --> 00:03:20.508
great analogy.

00:03:21.098 --> 00:03:24.808
and then, obviously, especially like as parents or something, we can be so selfless.

00:03:24.808 --> 00:03:31.399
We want to just take care of our kids before ourselves, but it's really important that we can't really take care of them if we don't take care of ourselves, right?

00:03:31.498 --> 00:03:32.209
It's so true.

00:03:32.549 --> 00:03:35.649
And it's interesting because, it's more mothers than fathers do that.

00:03:35.924 --> 00:03:43.443
Fathers do it as well, but I don't think to the same extent that mothers do because they're so bonded to them even more than we are.

00:03:43.463 --> 00:03:44.354
That is what it is.

00:03:44.563 --> 00:03:52.693
that's the physiological thing that it is, but, and then very often they put themselves so way down on the list.

00:03:53.403 --> 00:03:56.424
That they don't realize that they're until it's too late.

00:03:56.424 --> 00:03:58.854
And if they do realize it, hopefully they can turn it around.

00:03:58.864 --> 00:04:03.193
It's never too late to be honest, is that they need to take care of themselves.

00:04:03.204 --> 00:04:06.324
if they want to do the best job to take care of their children.

00:04:06.894 --> 00:04:07.294
That's right.

00:04:07.633 --> 00:04:14.604
And if they're not running on as many positive cycles as possible, then it will trickle down to the children anyway.

00:04:15.104 --> 00:04:15.493
That's right.

00:04:15.943 --> 00:04:16.783
in a negative way.

00:04:17.584 --> 00:04:23.584
So if you teach the children that taking care of yourself is first, especially if you're not harming anybody.

00:04:24.093 --> 00:04:24.483
Right?

00:04:24.843 --> 00:04:29.704
then you're showing them that it's a good thing to have self love, self care.

00:04:30.363 --> 00:04:30.624
Yeah.

00:04:30.704 --> 00:04:33.713
And then say to them, look, this is my time.

00:04:34.153 --> 00:04:39.553
If you give me this time to do what I need to do, then I'm with you fully the rest of the time.

00:04:41.598 --> 00:04:41.819
Right.

00:04:41.858 --> 00:04:44.319
And if you do that from an early age, it's even better.

00:04:44.769 --> 00:04:47.738
I wish I did it with my children at an early age.

00:04:48.079 --> 00:05:03.528
over the years, especially the last 10, 15 years, I found myself to because who I was my whole life, I realized that was a people pleaser and my need to please everybody else at my own expense ended up not only not pleasing them.

00:05:04.168 --> 00:05:05.358
I didn't please myself either.

00:05:05.713 --> 00:05:05.733
it

00:05:05.814 --> 00:05:07.014
was just a bad cycle.

00:05:07.014 --> 00:05:07.913
And I was always there.

00:05:07.913 --> 00:05:19.853
I was like that, safety net parent, I would always jump in and tell them what to do or do it for them instead of having them learn how to do it themselves, how to fail themselves.

00:05:20.384 --> 00:05:23.064
that people pleasing piece is so important.

00:05:23.064 --> 00:05:32.444
I find myself Often when I get frustrated from something and all that usually it goes back to the root and to being that I really wanted to please Somebody right?

00:05:32.473 --> 00:05:40.853
I did something that I thought they wanted to make them happy But ultimately it made me unhappy and in the end we both are not happy, right?

00:05:40.923 --> 00:05:41.274
Right.

00:05:41.274 --> 00:05:42.454
Yeah

00:05:42.533 --> 00:05:45.564
Yeah, now I call myself a recovering people pleaser.

00:05:45.923 --> 00:05:46.684
Oh, I like that,

00:05:46.894 --> 00:05:50.639
you know because As much as I'd like to say, I don't do it anymore.

00:05:50.699 --> 00:05:51.329
It's not true.

00:05:51.649 --> 00:05:55.778
I'll find myself in situations and say, wait a minute, why am I doing this?

00:05:55.778 --> 00:05:57.939
Am I falling back into old habits?

00:05:59.108 --> 00:06:02.709
And it's then I have to make a course correction, fix myself as best I could.

00:06:03.389 --> 00:06:15.178
But that's why I call myself a recovering people's believers, because it's just like anything else that you make recover from, you know, if you want to take drugs or alcohol or any of those kinds of things that you get addicted to,

00:06:15.689 --> 00:06:16.129
right?

00:06:16.488 --> 00:06:18.309
You never really cured from it.

00:06:18.389 --> 00:06:24.338
You just learn how to live with it or around it or avoid it.

00:06:24.338 --> 00:06:28.569
what are some ways that we can be conscious of when we're, cause sometimes we just don't know, right?

00:06:28.579 --> 00:06:29.278
It's so innate in us.

00:06:29.899 --> 00:06:30.209
Most of the time.

00:06:30.209 --> 00:06:32.869
You know, It's, you know, that one beer is not going to get me drunk.

00:06:32.928 --> 00:06:33.269
Right.

00:06:33.298 --> 00:06:35.649
But, so it's not a big deal kind of thing.

00:06:35.649 --> 00:06:38.178
It's the same goes for, for people pleasing.

00:06:38.178 --> 00:06:42.139
So how do we become aware at the beginning so we aren't doing that?

00:06:42.439 --> 00:06:50.249
Well, I'm so glad you used the word aware because a lot of that has to do with understanding what kind of awareness.

00:06:50.848 --> 00:07:03.009
You have they're self aware But there's also self consciousness and there's a difference between the two between self conscious And self aware and one of the things i've done.

00:07:03.009 --> 00:07:04.528
I wrote a book called.

00:07:04.548 --> 00:07:37.428
warrior to warrior that's Warrior with an o to warrior with an a it's just for my new york accent screws that up And here it is this is the book I don't think we're doing video but just in case All right, so warrior to warrior And, as a supplement to it, whether you read the book, whether you take my course, which is also called warrior to warrior, I also created a card deck called warrior to warrior, which has a lot of the snippets from the book.

00:07:37.738 --> 00:07:42.129
It's kind of something tangible that people can carry around whether they read the book or not.

00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:45.199
It's a great way to get an understanding what might be in the book.

00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:47.718
And if they did, it's a great way to reinforce it.

00:07:48.238 --> 00:07:51.158
So one of the cards is called self aware versus self conscious.

00:07:52.829 --> 00:07:54.238
So if you don't mind, I'll read it.

00:07:54.309 --> 00:07:59.769
So self consciousness comes from a place of negative energy.

00:08:00.348 --> 00:08:02.139
guilt, conflict, and doubt.

00:08:02.588 --> 00:08:05.298
Self consciousness is more outward directed.

00:08:05.829 --> 00:08:11.579
It's being more concerned about what others are thinking of you and how the situation is going to affect you.

00:08:12.408 --> 00:08:16.319
You probably react to uncomfortable situations instead of respond.

00:08:17.028 --> 00:08:19.579
When you're self conscious, you're questioning your decisions.

00:08:20.088 --> 00:08:25.259
You're second guessing yourselves, allowing other people's opinions and judgments to sway your own judgment.

00:08:25.798 --> 00:08:29.918
Self consciousness comes from a mindset of lack, complaining, and blaming.

00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:40.114
Now, self awareness It comes from a place of positive energy, acceptance, contentment, self assuredness, self awareness is more inward facing.

00:08:40.514 --> 00:08:46.744
You have an accurate and realistic understanding of how you respond to the situations and how you feel about things.

00:08:47.193 --> 00:08:51.609
It enables you to approach interactions and circumstances from a more balanced perspective.

00:08:52.068 --> 00:08:58.808
Richer stance self awareness comes from a mindset of abundance taking responsibility and gratitude

00:08:59.698 --> 00:08:59.899
So

00:08:59.899 --> 00:09:10.009
for me, I look at self conscious It could be your ego driven, you know and self awareness as being the humility side Right.

00:09:10.048 --> 00:09:12.389
And, you know, sometimes humility gets a bad rap,

00:09:13.489 --> 00:09:14.009
but it's about

00:09:14.019 --> 00:09:16.249
humble and being self content

00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:17.058
as well.

00:09:17.438 --> 00:09:21.009
to answer your question, it depends on where the person is.

00:09:21.009 --> 00:09:28.969
If they're feeling self conscious, they will easily fall into the people pleasing mode because they're trying to please others.

00:09:29.469 --> 00:09:32.808
They're trying to, You know, it's the guilt side of it, the negative guilt side of it.

00:09:33.339 --> 00:09:39.428
Whereas if they're self aware, they'll look at the situation and say, well, how is this affecting what I'm doing?

00:09:39.879 --> 00:09:41.219
Will it help me hurt me?

00:09:41.219 --> 00:09:41.989
So on and so forth.

00:09:41.989 --> 00:09:50.418
And be able to decide if whatever that person's asking for them to do is people pleasing, or is it just being a good person, being kind?

00:09:51.698 --> 00:09:51.958
Yeah.

00:09:51.958 --> 00:09:58.308
I mean, I think when I hear that, I'm thinking, with self consciousness, yeah, it is a lot of ego behind there.

00:09:58.318 --> 00:10:04.019
and when I'm here in self awareness, I'm thinking it's a lot of taking ownership, right.

00:10:04.408 --> 00:10:04.958
Of it all.

00:10:05.038 --> 00:10:07.359
And I think that can be hard to do, right.

00:10:07.359 --> 00:10:11.269
We live in a society where people just don't want to take ownership for their stuff.

00:10:11.298 --> 00:10:12.568
They just want to blame, blame, blame.

00:10:12.899 --> 00:10:13.219
Yeah.

00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:15.149
Cause it's easy to blame somebody else.

00:10:15.448 --> 00:10:15.708
Of course.

00:10:16.178 --> 00:10:18.089
and they all like to rationalize.

00:10:18.693 --> 00:10:19.874
what they're doing makes sense.

00:10:20.083 --> 00:10:23.203
But to me, rationalize is really two words.

00:10:24.183 --> 00:10:28.724
It's rational lies, right?

00:10:29.033 --> 00:10:34.913
Whenever you think you might be doing something that goes against your values, you'll rationalize all the reason why it's okay.

00:10:35.264 --> 00:10:40.504
What you're really doing is lying to yourself that it's rational to think that they're nothing more than rationalized.

00:10:43.198 --> 00:10:43.609
Wow.

00:10:44.499 --> 00:10:45.639
You know, and it's, it's okay.

00:10:45.639 --> 00:10:46.318
People do it.

00:10:46.349 --> 00:10:53.619
And now that you become aware of it, let's say you wake up in the morning and you go, I just don't feel like exercising today.

00:10:54.428 --> 00:10:55.408
I'm too tired, whatever.

00:10:56.099 --> 00:10:56.889
Is that the truth?

00:10:56.928 --> 00:10:59.048
Or are you telling yourself a rational lie?

00:11:00.629 --> 00:11:00.798
Right.

00:11:00.839 --> 00:11:05.778
And then once you now have this in your mind, you then go, okay.

00:11:06.369 --> 00:11:14.308
If I don't exercise and I recognize it's a rational lie, okay, I understand the consequences of my not exercising, my not exercising.

00:11:15.178 --> 00:11:24.288
But if I understand that it's a rational lie and I'm just looking for a way to get out of it and I go exercise, then I'm probably going to be happier in the long run.

00:11:24.548 --> 00:11:28.589
Usually about 10 minutes in people go, why did I not want to do this?

00:11:30.698 --> 00:11:31.038
Yeah.

00:11:32.408 --> 00:11:32.808
Yeah.

00:11:32.859 --> 00:11:34.928
So tell us, how'd you come up with this?

00:11:36.158 --> 00:11:37.038
So let me tell you a

00:11:37.038 --> 00:11:38.269
little bit about a backstory.

00:11:38.599 --> 00:11:39.318
Yeah, that'd be great.

00:11:39.548 --> 00:11:39.698
Please.

00:11:39.698 --> 00:11:40.058
Yeah.

00:11:40.139 --> 00:11:43.698
There's, I mean, a lot of this, all this has come from my own life experiences.

00:11:44.379 --> 00:11:49.099
So, you know, in 2008, which was a banner year in the world of finances.

00:11:49.428 --> 00:11:50.038
Tell me about it.

00:11:50.339 --> 00:11:51.078
Yeah, right.

00:11:52.288 --> 00:11:55.308
Banner opposite, whatever you want to call the opposite of a banner year.

00:11:55.568 --> 00:11:56.349
That's what that was.

00:11:56.869 --> 00:11:59.999
my wife and I were working on a project for about five years.

00:12:00.573 --> 00:12:04.344
To build a health club and tennis center down by the Jersey shore.

00:12:05.073 --> 00:12:06.504
And we had done all the work.

00:12:06.514 --> 00:12:10.153
We had done all the research and we knew that this was going to be a great project.

00:12:10.844 --> 00:12:12.614
We did physical feasibility studies.

00:12:12.614 --> 00:12:15.443
We found the right location, everything you need to do.

00:12:16.073 --> 00:12:19.844
And along the way we were investing and getting money from investors.

00:12:20.168 --> 00:12:39.538
and loans and so on and so forth to fund the project once we got the approval from the city But it took us about five years to go through this process And in 2006 2007 when I went to the bank to show them what we were doing, they're like this is great We can't wait for you to, to get in the ground.

00:12:39.828 --> 00:12:40.859
We'll be lending you the money.

00:12:40.859 --> 00:12:41.408
No problem.

00:12:41.989 --> 00:12:42.448
Beautiful.

00:12:42.678 --> 00:12:47.499
It was like going to Costco back then and getting, you could have lunch at Costco for free.

00:12:47.828 --> 00:12:50.729
Cause all the ladies on the end are giving the samples.

00:12:51.349 --> 00:12:51.859
That's right.

00:12:52.369 --> 00:12:54.698
Yeah, and that's really the bank or yeah.

00:12:55.649 --> 00:13:10.619
i've been in real estate all my life and back in that time I remember I had a little portfolio every time i'd go buy a place and make my deposits from rents and stuff they would offer me on the spot, you know, like hey, would you like 50 grand or whatever it was, you know?

00:13:10.619 --> 00:13:22.115
And they just kept doing it Piling on lines of credit like I wouldn't use them for years till I had to use them But I mean, you're just throwing money at you like even if you said no they gave it to you, you know, like Wild times

00:13:22.115 --> 00:13:25.259
I refined my house twice during those years.

00:13:25.479 --> 00:13:31.658
Well because They kept on evaluating my house at a higher value, right?

00:13:31.668 --> 00:13:34.839
I was able to borrow against that to fund my project.

00:13:35.099 --> 00:13:35.688
so now here

00:13:35.688 --> 00:13:50.484
We are waiting for the city to give us all the approvals and you know, all of a sudden they'll come back Oh, you know what now we want you to go get a civil engineer To figure out what's the traffic gonna do, what's it gonna happen, the traffic effect, and do you have enough parking?

00:13:50.543 --> 00:13:52.014
Oh, okay, well let's go do that.

00:13:52.364 --> 00:13:54.464
That was in 2006 or 2007.

00:13:54.974 --> 00:13:56.533
I'm like, okay, let's go do that.

00:13:56.563 --> 00:13:56.894
Whatever.

00:13:57.254 --> 00:13:58.423
Spend more money and invest.

00:13:58.774 --> 00:14:03.303
by the summer of 2008, we were about three and a half million dollars into the project.

00:14:03.604 --> 00:14:09.879
Because we knew that as soon as we got the approval, we could go to the bank, get the money back, and start building.

00:14:11.369 --> 00:14:12.058
That's what we thought.

00:14:12.339 --> 00:14:13.188
You thought you knew.

00:14:13.649 --> 00:14:14.328
We thought we knew.

00:14:14.739 --> 00:14:14.999
Right.

00:14:15.009 --> 00:14:17.969
Because the banks kept on telling us, yeah, we love the project.

00:14:18.869 --> 00:14:20.599
And the numbers were crazy.

00:14:20.649 --> 00:14:23.379
The amount of profit that we would have had was unbelievable.

00:14:23.379 --> 00:14:24.328
It really was.

00:14:24.869 --> 00:14:27.359
finally in the summer of 2008, they go, good.

00:14:28.344 --> 00:14:31.724
We sign off on everything, the city, the state, everybody's like, good.

00:14:31.724 --> 00:14:32.144
We like it.

00:14:32.144 --> 00:14:32.703
We'll go for it.

00:14:33.563 --> 00:14:34.214
Go to the bank.

00:14:34.573 --> 00:14:35.163
Hello.

00:14:35.634 --> 00:14:36.374
We're ready.

00:14:37.494 --> 00:14:38.754
Like, yeah, we're not lending now.

00:14:39.293 --> 00:14:39.573
Yeah.

00:14:39.573 --> 00:14:40.303
Like what?

00:14:40.533 --> 00:14:41.504
What are you talking about?

00:14:41.803 --> 00:14:43.653
Well, the market's slowing down.

00:14:43.653 --> 00:14:44.864
Things are changing.

00:14:45.464 --> 00:14:48.333
Little did I know what would happen in September of 2008.

00:14:48.594 --> 00:14:49.083
That's right.

00:14:49.413 --> 00:14:53.453
you had Bernie Madoff, which just basically started the dominoes.

00:14:53.964 --> 00:14:56.703
Then came the subprime loans and everything else fell apart.

00:14:57.234 --> 00:14:58.423
And Bear Stearns Lehman

00:14:58.423 --> 00:14:59.063
brothers.

00:14:59.443 --> 00:14:59.714
Yeah.

00:14:59.923 --> 00:15:00.333
Oh yeah.

00:15:00.764 --> 00:15:01.323
Bear Stearns?

00:15:01.354 --> 00:15:02.193
Nobody knows that name.

00:15:02.214 --> 00:15:03.024
Lehman Brothers?

00:15:03.114 --> 00:15:03.464
Who are they?

00:15:03.464 --> 00:15:07.864
You know, you say Merrill Lynch to somebody these days, they're like, what's that?

00:15:08.244 --> 00:15:09.303
Yeah, it's hard to believe.

00:15:09.644 --> 00:15:11.004
Bank of America bought them, I believe.

00:15:11.354 --> 00:15:14.333
They were all eaten up and all that by other companies.

00:15:14.663 --> 00:15:17.104
But back then, those were like the major players.

00:15:17.104 --> 00:15:17.475
So,

00:15:17.475 --> 00:15:18.590
here I am.

00:15:18.590 --> 00:15:24.541
I'm three and a half million dollars, In the whole I've borrowed money.

00:15:24.541 --> 00:15:26.380
I have investors and all this.

00:15:27.130 --> 00:15:28.471
And overnight I'm broke.

00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:33.910
Luckily, I didn't jump off a building, but I got depressed.

00:15:34.221 --> 00:15:36.490
Paying my mortgage, stop paying my car payments.

00:15:36.890 --> 00:15:39.140
Now, two, three months later, my son says, look outside.

00:15:39.691 --> 00:15:41.671
They were towing away my BMW.

00:15:42.921 --> 00:15:45.360
And I was like, well, I never had that happen to me before.

00:15:45.971 --> 00:15:47.870
And eventually they foreclosed on my house.

00:15:47.870 --> 00:15:49.360
Luckily I lived in New Jersey.

00:15:49.740 --> 00:15:51.071
They were so backed up with.

00:15:51.395 --> 00:16:07.995
Foreclosures that it took them years till they said, oh, yeah, remember that guy on valley forge So but it took him a few years, but you know, it was a tough time and I actually went into a depression You know physical depression looking back now.

00:16:07.995 --> 00:16:13.836
I can honestly easily say that it was situational Based on what was going on, right?

00:16:14.446 --> 00:16:18.625
And I went through therapy and coaching during that year to get myself out of it even medicated.

00:16:19.566 --> 00:16:24.225
and you know, About a year later, I said, okay, now what do I want to do with my life?

00:16:25.605 --> 00:16:27.615
I realized that I'd been a businessman my whole life.

00:16:27.655 --> 00:16:28.625
Never really loved it.

00:16:29.285 --> 00:16:31.706
Just never really loved being that type of a businessman.

00:16:32.105 --> 00:16:34.096
I was in so many different types of business.

00:16:34.115 --> 00:16:39.466
I was an importer, which I sold to the chain stores that, you know, you've heard of it.

00:16:39.495 --> 00:16:43.436
When you go to the malls and different stores like that, I'd been in real estate.

00:16:43.436 --> 00:16:46.735
I had been in so many different things, but I never loved it.

00:16:46.735 --> 00:16:50.346
I never know the sales end of it, even though I consider myself a pretty good salesman.

00:16:50.676 --> 00:16:51.885
Never really loved doing it.

00:16:52.735 --> 00:16:54.706
So, I said, what do I really like doing?

00:16:55.456 --> 00:17:00.385
I thought about it and I realized I always loved helping in the community.

00:17:00.385 --> 00:17:03.255
I was always involved in community events and always a leader.

00:17:04.296 --> 00:17:08.066
And what I realized was as a leader, people would come in and say, Barton, I can't do what you want.

00:17:08.076 --> 00:17:11.056
You're doing like, no, I don't want you to do what I'm doing.

00:17:11.705 --> 00:17:13.736
I need you to do what you're good at.

00:17:14.326 --> 00:17:20.875
So I'd have conversations with them and understand what they're good at and say, great, let's do you do this and I'll help you.

00:17:21.740 --> 00:17:24.941
I realized what I was doing was I was coaching them to their potential.

00:17:25.911 --> 00:17:27.421
I had had some coaching in my life.

00:17:27.471 --> 00:17:28.651
I understood what it was.

00:17:29.060 --> 00:17:30.580
So I decided I'll become a life coach.

00:17:31.820 --> 00:17:35.980
And I looked into it and I found a great school and decided I was going to go there.

00:17:35.980 --> 00:17:39.621
And I walked into the office of the chief financial officer.

00:17:40.030 --> 00:17:42.151
And I said, I can't afford to come here.

00:17:42.881 --> 00:17:50.030
But I want to come here and I can't afford to go and get, you know, funding because my credit score is terrible.

00:17:50.800 --> 00:17:55.050
I said, but if you make a deal with me now, we come up with a number that I could afford every month.

00:17:55.611 --> 00:17:56.711
I promise I'll pay you.

00:17:57.800 --> 00:17:59.151
He says, okay, I'll make a deal with you.

00:17:59.351 --> 00:18:00.020
You got that.

00:18:00.020 --> 00:18:05.671
We'll come up with a number, but you don't get your certificate that you graduated until you're all paid off.

00:18:06.391 --> 00:18:07.211
I'm like, Oh, that's fair.

00:18:08.181 --> 00:18:08.770
It's a great deal.

00:18:09.691 --> 00:18:11.921
So I did it and I jumped into it.

00:18:12.340 --> 00:18:19.230
And then about two months before the school is going to start, it was my 24th wedding anniversary, right?

00:18:19.951 --> 00:18:22.580
And I got an interesting present from my wife that day.

00:18:23.770 --> 00:18:24.760
She said, I want a divorce.

00:18:25.040 --> 00:18:25.681
Oh boy.

00:18:27.050 --> 00:18:32.181
I'm like thinking to myself, you know, there's 364 other days she could have asked for this.

00:18:32.441 --> 00:18:32.840
Yeah,

00:18:33.830 --> 00:18:34.810
not so romantic.

00:18:35.121 --> 00:18:35.550
Yeah.

00:18:36.290 --> 00:18:37.480
You can imagine how I felt.

00:18:37.701 --> 00:18:43.800
Every emotion came rushing to me, anger, abandonment, loneliness, sadness, everything.

00:18:44.941 --> 00:18:48.361
And I said to myself, I got to pick myself up and keep going.

00:18:48.871 --> 00:18:51.560
And a part of me thought that I might be able to save the marriage.

00:18:52.560 --> 00:18:59.820
and I decided I was still going to go through with coaching and they had sent me a list about a week or two before coaching training was starting with a bunch of books on it.

00:18:59.820 --> 00:19:01.111
It said, read a couple of these books.

00:19:01.780 --> 00:19:04.391
One of them was the four agreements by don miguel ruiz.

00:19:04.461 --> 00:19:05.111
Oh, yeah.

00:19:05.750 --> 00:19:06.181
Yeah, that's

00:19:06.181 --> 00:19:06.730
a great book.

00:19:06.881 --> 00:19:09.721
when I read the second agreement don't take anything personally

00:19:09.721 --> 00:19:10.851
I

00:19:11.411 --> 00:19:17.471
felt like he was talking directly to me And I was like, Oh my God, this guy gets me.

00:19:18.211 --> 00:19:23.590
And I realized it really was, he was telling me the secret that everybody had been telling me my entire life.

00:19:24.181 --> 00:19:26.250
But until that minute, I wasn't ready to hear it.

00:19:26.740 --> 00:19:35.361
And it was as if he lifted the weight off my shoulders because now I didn't have to go around and take what everybody was saying and think it's about me.

00:19:36.030 --> 00:19:39.810
And I also realized that was the beginning of my understanding that I was a people pleaser.

00:19:40.840 --> 00:19:42.391
So I went into that first weekend.

00:19:43.171 --> 00:19:44.611
Ready, open minded.

00:19:45.090 --> 00:19:49.010
Those books that they gave me really helped me, you know, they recommended.

00:19:49.711 --> 00:19:51.961
And they said, you don't have to be who you think you have to be.

00:19:52.401 --> 00:19:54.240
You could be whoever you want to be.

00:19:54.881 --> 00:19:57.540
I was like, wow, somebody is giving me permission to do what I want.

00:19:58.921 --> 00:20:04.911
Well, my whole life I was trying to please my parents, please my wife, please everybody else by doing what they thought was best for me.

00:20:05.490 --> 00:20:05.770
Yeah.

00:20:06.746 --> 00:20:08.165
You know, and I'm not blaming them.

00:20:08.806 --> 00:20:09.175
It's me.

00:20:09.336 --> 00:20:19.486
I took responsibility for the things that I've done good bad and different I am where I am because of the decisions I made so I went in with coaching.

00:20:19.486 --> 00:20:20.076
I got it.

00:20:20.076 --> 00:20:20.715
I understood it.

00:20:21.236 --> 00:20:27.215
And by the way, I paid off the debt to the coaching company By the time I graduated

00:20:28.036 --> 00:20:28.056
It

00:20:28.056 --> 00:20:29.355
took about a year, which is fine.

00:20:29.365 --> 00:20:30.556
It was a great school.

00:20:31.105 --> 00:20:36.336
and I decided to become a divorce recovery coach because I had just come through the divorce.

00:20:36.516 --> 00:20:37.586
While going through coaching.

00:20:37.625 --> 00:20:38.496
Makes sense, Louise?

00:20:38.605 --> 00:20:39.165
Oh, yeah.

00:20:41.346 --> 00:20:42.746
So that's what I started doing.

00:20:42.935 --> 00:20:46.596
Helping people recover from the emotional pains of divorce.

00:20:46.596 --> 00:20:48.306
They go on a rollercoaster of emotions.

00:20:48.556 --> 00:20:49.195
I had done it.

00:20:49.236 --> 00:20:51.226
I had felt it and going through the coaching.

00:20:51.226 --> 00:20:51.986
It helped me do it.

00:20:52.256 --> 00:20:55.215
I even wrote a book on recovering from divorce.

00:20:55.875 --> 00:20:57.096
And I did that for a few years.

00:20:57.096 --> 00:21:02.435
And I started to understand the things that were helping me and helping my clients.

00:21:02.435 --> 00:21:05.756
and I got to a point in my life where I was loving my life.

00:21:07.155 --> 00:21:10.435
And I was doing things that I had never done before, like meditating.

00:21:10.945 --> 00:21:11.786
And I got to tell you,

00:21:11.976 --> 00:21:13.056
I'm ADHD.

00:21:13.185 --> 00:21:13.316
So

00:21:14.445 --> 00:21:15.661
it ain't easy.

00:21:15.661 --> 00:21:16.580
Even the guided

00:21:16.580 --> 00:21:17.530
ones are difficult.

00:21:18.161 --> 00:21:19.260
My mind's all over the place.

00:21:19.401 --> 00:21:21.770
How do people stay still for 10 minutes?

00:21:22.080 --> 00:21:23.990
How do their brains stay still for 10 minutes?

00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:30.931
But one of these meditation sessions I had, I realized I loved life and everything I was doing.

00:21:31.050 --> 00:21:32.421
And I wanted to help other people.

00:21:33.010 --> 00:21:33.181
And

00:21:33.181 --> 00:21:35.780
after I finished, I wrote for two hours.

00:21:36.300 --> 00:21:40.611
And out of that came the Latin, the acronym life live incredibly full every day.

00:21:42.201 --> 00:21:51.790
And I shifted my business towards helping people shift their mindset from lack to abundance, from self conscious to self aware.

00:21:53.076 --> 00:22:00.316
And, I started doing that and then COVID hits and everybody's running around worried.

00:22:01.476 --> 00:22:04.355
I'm like, what's everybody worried about?

00:22:05.236 --> 00:22:07.895
And then I realized that it wasn't that they were worried.

00:22:07.895 --> 00:22:09.096
It was that I wasn't.

00:22:09.675 --> 00:22:11.215
And why wasn't I worried?

00:22:11.615 --> 00:22:14.326
Because the last 10, 12 years had put me through the ringer.

00:22:15.215 --> 00:22:18.756
2008 went through, I went through that, my divorce.

00:22:18.756 --> 00:22:19.566
I went through that.

00:22:19.846 --> 00:22:20.935
Losing all my money.

00:22:21.155 --> 00:22:21.996
I've figured it out.

00:22:22.375 --> 00:22:26.516
You know, I even figured out what was wrong with me.

00:22:26.625 --> 00:22:35.965
I fixed myself in a good way that I started dating again and understood that I was looking for a woman who was not the same as the woman I married the first time.

00:22:37.006 --> 00:22:45.056
Because going through the divorce, I understood what I brought to the marriage and what she brought to the marriage and that our values were never really the same.

00:22:46.256 --> 00:22:48.276
What does a 20 something year old horny kid?

00:22:48.276 --> 00:22:49.905
This is the guy, girl, I want it.

00:22:50.175 --> 00:22:50.715
That's right.

00:22:51.276 --> 00:22:53.546
You know, sorry for the bad language, but you get it.

00:22:54.865 --> 00:22:56.976
And we, our values were just never the same.

00:22:56.976 --> 00:22:59.385
And we were always in a codependent relationship.

00:23:00.611 --> 00:23:02.131
And I wanted something different.

00:23:02.131 --> 00:23:12.871
I found a woman, we started dating and I'd go out on dates and I'd figure out that right away, almost the first or second date that we were not right for each other because I was figuring out what their values were

00:23:13.191 --> 00:23:13.570
and how

00:23:13.570 --> 00:23:14.530
they aligned with mine.

00:23:15.730 --> 00:23:17.391
And this woman was checking the boxes.

00:23:17.391 --> 00:23:19.750
And I'm very happy to say I've been married for six years now.

00:23:20.171 --> 00:23:20.790
Congratulations.

00:23:21.530 --> 00:23:22.121
Thank you.

00:23:22.401 --> 00:23:26.770
And when I went through COVID, I had a wife and her kids and I have my own kids as well.

00:23:27.030 --> 00:23:28.201
They're older than hers.

00:23:28.526 --> 00:23:29.976
So they weren't living with me anyway.

00:23:29.976 --> 00:23:33.715
So I moved in with her and her children and we went through COVID together.

00:23:35.756 --> 00:23:38.365
But I was looking around and saying, what's everybody worried about?

00:23:38.365 --> 00:23:41.286
And I realized that they didn't have the right tools.

00:23:42.395 --> 00:23:42.776
Right.

00:23:42.905 --> 00:23:44.826
And I did because I went through it.

00:23:45.465 --> 00:23:50.125
So I got into Facebook one day, I said, I want to show you how to go from being a warrior to a warrior.

00:23:50.635 --> 00:23:50.695
And

00:23:50.705 --> 00:23:52.695
that's where the warrior's life code came from.

00:23:55.145 --> 00:24:06.135
And, you know, over the last few years, specifically the last year, I started putting together a program to help coaches get to seven figures within two years guaranteed.

00:24:07.516 --> 00:24:18.806
And that came out of the fact that I understood I had been going to some of these coach to coaches courses, courses that I found online and they would make great promises.

00:24:19.405 --> 00:24:23.276
and they'd say, okay, pay us up all front and then we'll get you in and normally good.

00:24:23.645 --> 00:24:25.336
And I do that because I was.

00:24:25.695 --> 00:24:31.796
I am typical by ADHD jumps in and my, The shiny object syndrome.

00:24:32.836 --> 00:24:33.266
That's it.

00:24:33.306 --> 00:24:34.205
That's what I'm looking for.

00:24:34.205 --> 00:24:35.286
That's the piece I'm missing.

00:24:35.506 --> 00:24:35.996
Oh, yeah.

00:24:36.066 --> 00:24:36.625
And I get into it.

00:24:36.625 --> 00:24:37.385
I'm like, wait a minute.

00:24:37.385 --> 00:24:38.326
I don't know how to do this.

00:24:38.326 --> 00:24:41.125
And this is not what I, I can blame them.

00:24:41.125 --> 00:24:42.066
I can blame me.

00:24:42.455 --> 00:24:45.006
I just realized that it wasn't the package that I thought it was.

00:24:46.135 --> 00:24:53.816
So I went on this quest as it were to put together a program that's comprehensive.

00:24:54.526 --> 00:25:01.145

Transforming Lives with The Warrior's LIFE Code - Martin Salama

Listen On

Recent Episodes