The Path to Inspired Living with Scott Maderer
The Path to Inspired Living with Scott Maderer
Send us a text In this insightful episode of The Wayfinder Show, host Luis Hernandez interviews Scott Maderer from The Inspired Stewardship…
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Nov. 19, 2024

The Path to Inspired Living with Scott Maderer

The Path to Inspired Living with Scott Maderer
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The Wayfinder Show

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In this insightful episode of The Wayfinder Show, host Luis Hernandez interviews Scott Maderer from The Inspired Stewardship Show. Scott discusses the importance of balancing selfless service with self-interest to avoid burnout and narcissism. He shares his journey from a career in medical research and teaching to becoming a stewardship coach. Scott explains the concept of stewardship, focusing on managing time, talent, and treasures. The episode also touches on the importance of intentionality, alignment of actions with core values, and the nuanced understanding of ideological differences.

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Transcript
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If all you ever do is focus just on the serving others part, then a lot of times you end up burning up and burning out.

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And if all you ever focus on is the selfish part, well, we all know those people.

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Right.

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We call them narcissists, right?

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These are the people that, and now you're taking advantage of people.

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You're running over people, you're manipulating people.

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So it's having a healthy balance between.

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Both of those and recognizing both of those and not letting either one kind of take over and control what you do that I think becomes really important.

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Welcome to The Wayfinder Show with Luis Hernandez, where guests discuss the why and how of making changes that led them down a more authentic path or allow them to level up in some area of their life.

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Our goal is to dig deep and provide not only knowledge, but actionable advice to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

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Come join us and find the way to your dream life.

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Welcome back to the way finder show.

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I'm your host, Louie Hernandez.

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And today I'm here with my friend, Scott mater from the inspired living podcast.

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Scott is also an expert in helping folks transition from working to living their calling, no matter what that looks like for them.

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He helps people identify their calling, get out of their own way so they can really live it out and helps them discover how they can deal with their time, their talent or their treasures.

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Scott, welcome to the wayfinder show.

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Absolutely.

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Thanks for having me.

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So one quick tweak.

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The name of the book is inspired living.

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The name of the podcast is the inspired stewardship show.

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So That's right.

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Thank you for that.

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Yeah, that's right.

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And I've had the pleasure of being on your show, which is a great one.

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So thank you for that.

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And it's great to, reverse the roles here and put you in the hot seat.

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Yeah, I'm ready.

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All right.

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We're going to see what we can do here.

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So Scott, before we get into it, can you share with folks a little bit about how you got into this mess?

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Yeah, right.

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and that's a good way of putting it.

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How do you, how do you get into this mess?

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So yeah, like a lot of us, I, I think my journey is one where if you look back, I can see the connections, but at the time that I was living it, I didn't necessarily see where it was going.

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So, you know, I actually started, my career, my idea back in the time of college.

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I was going to go into medical research.

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I was going to become a doctor and a researcher.

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I have a degree in biochemistry.

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I have a degree in genetics.

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I'm doing all of that.

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I started doing research work and I figured out real quickly that doing research work was really more about chasing grant money than it was about helping people.

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And my real drive was always helping people.

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I was always that guy.

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growing up that was, perpetually in the friend zone when it came to dating because I was the guy that everyone went to for advice, which not so great when you're in high school and dating, but it turns out it treats you well later in life.

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So I'm okay.

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my current wife is, more than my better half, so to speak, but as I started on that journey, I realized that, this isn't really what I want to do.

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So I pivoted and became a school teacher.

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I did that for 16 years.

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I taught middle school and high school science.

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I've taught in private school.

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I've taught in public school.

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You know, I've had all of those experiences, love teaching, loved pouring into the kids, learned real quickly that a lot of what I did, it wasn't the old school, you know, stand at the front of the classroom and lecture for 45 minutes and then have the kids do the questions out of the back of the book, but I found ways to develop my skills to be more Socratic and more engaging and more, you know, kind of a coach or facilitator of learning rather than a quote unquote, teacher of learning.

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So I did that for 16 years.

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Then eventually.

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Kind of burned out on that.

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anyone that knows a teacher will tell you that, teaching is an emotionally draining job.

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you don't get a lot of money.

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You don't really have a lot of time off.

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Everyone's, Oh, you got the summers off.

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No, you don't.

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So it took a lot out of me.

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So I pivoted and I went into actually did car sales for a little while while I was looking around for something more permanent and didn't really love the car sales, but it was something to kind of put some money in my pocket and bread on the table while I was doing that.

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Okay.

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But I found a job in corporate.

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I went to work for a testing company.

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So I left teaching to start writing tests for a living.

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So my students said I joined the dark side.

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I love the idea of using testing as a way to serve students and help education, believe it or not, there is good stuff about testing as well as bad stuff.

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And so I did that for 11 years, worked myself up into a senior position.

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well up the corporate ladder and in positions were probably down the road, I would have been a VP or maybe even CEO and that kind of thing.

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So, you know, it was a great job, but most of my job, the part I got the most out of was when I was developing other leaders within the company.

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And when I was trying to figure out ways to bring up other leaders.

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And so I began coaching on the side because my wife and I went through, a pretty bad financial situation of our own.

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I was suicidal because of finances.

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My wife and I almost got a divorce because of finances.

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We kind of had gone through that journey ourselves.

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And when you go through kind of a life changing journey, and you start kind of behaving in a way that's really weird, People start asking, wait a minute, what are you doing?

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What's this is weird.

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You know, you look different, you act different, you're doing different things.

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And so my wife and I actually started kind of coaching and helping other people informally.

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And then we realized, wow, I love this.

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This is, you know, this is really what I want to be doing.

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This really, it hits all of those cornerstones of the passion and the things that I loved about teaching, the things that I loved about my growing up, the things that I loved about the corporate world.

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It allowed me to do all of that.

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So I started the coaching business and I reversed my climb up the corporate ladder.

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I trained my own replacement.

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I gave him over a year's notice and said, you know, I'm quitting a year from now.

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Let's figure out a way I can do this without leaving a big hole in the company, trained my own replacement and kind of went down to a lesser position and then to a part time position and then left the company to launch the coaching business.

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So now I've been coaching since 2017, full time since 2011, part time worked with clients in 16 countries.

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And I don't know how many States, and love what I'm doing.

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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That's great.

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So, so what is your ideal client look like?

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So most of my ideal clients are actually people that are doing well, but know they could be doing better.

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They feel kind of held back.

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They feel stuck.

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They feel confused.

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They feel disorganized, They often know that, there's more to what I'm doing there's more out there.

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They have a growth mindset.

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They want to be achieving more.

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They want to be doing more.

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A lot of times they want to be starting a business or growing their business.

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Not all of them, but a large percentage of them.

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So, you know, there's this kind of fallacy that coaches only work with people that are desperate and in crisis.

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Most of my clients aren't in crisis.

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Most of my clients aren't desperate.

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most of them are entrepreneurial minded or even have their own business.

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A lot of them have.

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high net worth, high income.

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But the problem is they've also got a lot of disorganization.

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They've got a lot of things that they're paying attention to that really aren't important that are distracting them from the things that are important.

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And so their time and their money, they feel like, is it really where it should be?

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And so that's what they come to me for help with.

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I call myself a stewardship coach.

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I help people in time, talent, and treasures.

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The truth is people come to me for help with money or with productivity time.

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And then all I really work on is talent.

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And the reason why is at the end of the day, the way that you handle your time, the way that you handle your money is actually all about how you handle yourself.

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And so that's really where the work is the time and the money problems are really the symptom, if that makes sense.

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but that's what attracts people to me.

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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I'm curious because you went from, you know, childhood education to testing.

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It was that you said your students called you were in the dark side.

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So I'm assuming that meant you were building out tests for students like childhood.

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Yeah.

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So basically, you know, how in a lot of states, like a high school student has to pass a test to get their diploma.

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I wrote those state based testing that's used for states for certification, for graduation, for things like that.

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So that's the industry I worked at.

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My kids hate you.

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No, it makes it a lot of fun whenever you're on a plane and somebody said like, you know, what do you do?

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Oh, I work for testing company.

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Oh, it's your fault.

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I didn't get into college.

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No, it's really not.

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so Scott, I'm wondering when you first got into coaching before we dive deeper into stewardship coaching, before you got into it, were you, what kind of coaching were you doing?

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Did you already know right away you were going to, this was what you were going to do or did you start out with some kind of childhood coaching, parenting?

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Now, when I started coaching, it was really in financial.

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so the biggest area that people came to us for help with was around money.

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initially I wasn't working with business owners.

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I was working with just individuals.

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I still work with a lot of individuals, honestly, at the end of the day, businesses are run by people.

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So even if you're doing business coaching, you're still really doing people coaching All coaching is life coaching.

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It's just kind of what lens are you looking at their life through?

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So if you think about career coaching, what's life coaching focused on.

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Career.

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If you think about marriage coaching, it's life coaching focused on marriage.

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You know, if you think about financial, it's like coaching focused on finances.

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So I started with financial coaching because my wife and I had gone through our own financial journey.

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That's what people started asking for help with.

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And then what I discovered is a lot of times when people are struggling with their money, they're also struggling with their time.

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The two often are connected.

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And it turned out that when I would help them with their money, some of those exact same techniques I could bring over and I could help them with their time.

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And so I began adding the time component.

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The reason these are connected is because at the end of the day, it's still about the person.

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I'm dealing with the person.

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And that's kind of where I added in and learned more about what I now call talent coaching, which is on the leadership, the communication, the self discipline, the limiting beliefs, the mindset, all of that stuff.

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Got it.

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Okay.

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And did you, have you used, have you been trained any particular coaching style that's out there or platform, you know, like, So I've gone through trainings for a lot of different ones.

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I've had training in profit first, I've had training in, five or six different things that are out there.

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And what I've really kind of focused on is it.

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Coming in and presenting any one model, but rather I look at myself as a coach as my job is to have as many tools as possible in my toolbox, and then what do you need as a client, and then I'll try to pull that tool out and work with you and meet you where you're at.

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I think one of the problems, a lot of times when you're working with a coach that has one modality or one.

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Sort of training.

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And again, I'm not trying to beat anyone up.

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I think there's a tremendous value in that if that's what you need.

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But the problem is sometimes that's not what you need.

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And so then you got to go find a different coach.

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And so I've tried not to lock myself into one particular.

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Style of coaching, but rather pull in and learn from, I think I'm up to five now that I've been trained or certified in.

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So, you know, the personality stuff with disc, I've gone through Jan Maxwell coach training.

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I've gone through, you know, profit first, I've gone through, one through coach connections.

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I've gone through one with Dave Ramsey's organization, you know, so I've been through a lot of different ones, but I don't look at any one of those as the, you know, I don't present myself as.

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I'm trained in that modality.

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That's the modality I use.

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Instead, I try to treat them as tools in a toolbox.

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Okay.

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Interesting.

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So you, you called yourself a stewardship coach.

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What does stewardship mean to you?

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Sure.

00:12:10.448 --> 00:12:14.889
So stewardship for me is kind of the lens by which I look at things.

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So I'll give you the practical definition for it.

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So it is a biblical term.

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A lot of, if you're a Christian, you've probably heard that in church.

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And my joke for the Christians out there is unfortunately in church, you usually hear it when we start a building campaign.

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It's like, you know, Hey, we're going to build a build new building.

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Let's start a stewardship campaign.

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So you can give money so that we can build the building.

00:12:35.528 --> 00:12:37.438
That's really not what that word means.

00:12:37.739 --> 00:12:45.658
All the word stewardship means is it is using resources that don't belong to you, but managing them.

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Well, so where did it come from back in the times of Lords in castles?

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So we're talking about, you know, The manor lord that had the castle up the hill, they usually would have a steward whose whole job was to run the estate, make sure everything happened correctly, take care of the castle, manage all the staff, do all of that work, you know, money came in, money come out to keep the books, do all of that.

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They were the steward.

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of the castle.

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Very powerful position, very prestigious position.

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But did they own the castle?

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no.

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Did they own the cropland?

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No.

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Did they own actually anything?

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No.

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They usually lived in the Lord's house.

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They didn't own any of it, but they managed it on behalf of the Lord.

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So from a faithful position, you know, that word has now come to mean managing our resources on behalf of.

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The Lord, there being God or whatever power you believe in.

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And I don't care if you have a particular faith background or belief, but the idea is there's something out there bigger than me.

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And part of my job is to manage what I do manage, what I have managed, what I'm capable of, not just to serve me, but to serve the greater good, to serve the bigger picture, to serve the higher power, to serve the greater Society to serve others as well.

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And so that is the lens of stewardship that I kind of run my business through.

00:14:16.188 --> 00:14:23.948
I try to run my life through don't always succeed, but try my best, you know, and try to help my clients begin to align their life towards.

00:14:24.259 --> 00:14:25.139
I think of it.

00:14:25.649 --> 00:14:50.323
I don't remember how I answered but I hope I answered Very similarly that you know, I would think of it as having a fiduciary Responsibility, you know like oftentimes as a real estate broker We have a fiduciary responsibility to our client and make sure to look out in your best interest something like that but I I'm wondering do you have like a A test for it to know you said you you said you don't have You don't always succeed at it.

00:14:50.423 --> 00:14:53.323
How do you test yourself to know when you are being successful?

00:14:53.933 --> 00:14:55.553
Well, that's a good, that's a good question.

00:14:55.624 --> 00:14:59.634
A lot of it has to do with what I would call alignment and intentionality.

00:14:59.943 --> 00:15:02.254
you can't have alignment without intentionality.

00:15:03.033 --> 00:15:08.403
Intentionality means you have a intention behind what you're going to do.

00:15:08.948 --> 00:15:18.119
Behind what you're going to say behind how you're going to act, you've actually sat down and thought about it and said to yourself, Hey, I should be doing this.

00:15:18.188 --> 00:15:19.109
I need to lose weight.

00:15:19.109 --> 00:15:20.188
I need to get in better shape.

00:15:20.188 --> 00:15:22.048
I need to have control of my money.

00:15:22.048 --> 00:15:27.038
I need to be more productive with my time, whatever it is, whatever goals you're setting, right?

00:15:27.038 --> 00:15:33.464
That's the intentionality, this idea of setting a direction and then alignment is Twofold.

00:15:33.504 --> 00:15:39.634
One, is what you're doing in alignment with what you said you should be doing, you know?

00:15:40.033 --> 00:15:43.063
In other words, I said I need to do this, am I actually doing it?

00:15:43.673 --> 00:15:57.063
The other way of alignment and to think about alignment is, is those intentions that I'm setting aligned with what my bigger values are, what my bigger priorities are, what my bigger beliefs are, We'll give you a practical example.

00:15:57.813 --> 00:16:01.394
A lot of times if you ask people, Hey, you know, tell me what's most important to you.

00:16:02.153 --> 00:16:03.964
Family will come up in the list, right?

00:16:03.994 --> 00:16:05.673
Family's usually pretty close to the top.

00:16:05.693 --> 00:16:08.313
You know, my wife, my kids, my family, that's important to me.

00:16:08.703 --> 00:16:09.484
Okay, great.

00:16:09.504 --> 00:16:10.624
Family's important to you.

00:16:11.384 --> 00:16:13.724
How much time are you actually spending with your family?

00:16:14.428 --> 00:16:15.359
Look at your calendar.

00:16:15.448 --> 00:16:16.489
How many hours a week?

00:16:16.489 --> 00:16:17.369
How many hours a month?

00:16:17.408 --> 00:16:19.139
You know, how much time are you spending with them?

00:16:19.509 --> 00:16:20.259
How about money?

00:16:20.269 --> 00:16:24.999
How much activity are you doing that, you know, where you're putting resources into them?

00:16:25.178 --> 00:16:31.619
How about, you know, not just time as in, Hey, we happen to be sitting and watching TV together, but how much time are you spending?

00:16:31.619 --> 00:16:33.928
That's actually quality time with your family members.

00:16:34.599 --> 00:16:37.808
and like, I'll use that as an example for me, family's important to me.

00:16:37.989 --> 00:16:42.408
Do I always succeed at spending as much time and quality time with my family as I would like to?

00:16:43.249 --> 00:16:43.999
Absolutely not.

00:16:44.308 --> 00:16:44.839
Okay.

00:16:45.119 --> 00:16:51.938
but that's an examination that I can do where I review and I reflect on that and I go, okay, this is something I need to do better in.

00:16:51.958 --> 00:16:53.028
I need to improve in it.

00:16:53.038 --> 00:16:55.999
So what's getting in the way, what do I need to get rid of?

00:16:55.999 --> 00:16:57.448
What do I need to say no to?

00:16:57.479 --> 00:16:59.568
What do I need to realign in my life?

00:16:59.918 --> 00:17:09.318
So that now that intentionality family is important to me, can actually show up in the practical stuff that I'm actually doing and saying and spending time and money and effort and energy.

00:17:10.739 --> 00:17:13.209
so you get a client now you help them figure out?

00:17:13.973 --> 00:17:15.523
you know, their values and all that.

00:17:15.523 --> 00:17:17.473
So they can align and become intentional.

00:17:18.104 --> 00:17:22.003
and is that usually what, is it an ongoing coaching or how?

00:17:22.013 --> 00:17:24.894
So most of my clients, we start with a foundational coaching.

00:17:25.013 --> 00:17:26.913
So that's usually about three months.

00:17:26.973 --> 00:17:27.903
why three months?

00:17:27.903 --> 00:17:33.344
Because it usually takes about 90 days to kind of reset and restructure habits.

00:17:33.753 --> 00:17:39.554
It takes us about that long to kind of get, you're not done, you know, but you, you got to grasp for what's going on.

00:17:40.413 --> 00:17:42.594
Most of my clients stay on after that.

00:17:42.594 --> 00:17:58.193
So I've had clients now for 10 years, you know, and that kind of thing, because it turns out that having accountability in your life, having somebody that even though we're only meeting once a month, that there's still somebody that you're checking in with, you're updating your, a lot of our calls now are.

00:17:58.378 --> 00:18:00.128
You know, Hey, how's it going?

00:18:00.348 --> 00:18:04.828
Well, you know, it's going good in these areas, but I'm still struggling a little bit in this area.

00:18:04.828 --> 00:18:05.078
Okay.

00:18:05.078 --> 00:18:05.868
Let's talk about that.

00:18:05.898 --> 00:18:17.078
You know, what's going on right now that's made that area bumpy, you know, so they're, they're not long drawn out, you know, brand new stuff, but it's turns out that guess what life happens.

00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:19.628
And when life happens, things change.

00:18:20.159 --> 00:18:29.288
And when things change, having a coach can kind of help you realign, reset, refocus, you know, gain control and set a plan and go out and execute on it.

00:18:29.509 --> 00:18:36.429
So a lot of my clients stay around for, you know, I would say the average client stays around for a year to a year and a half.

00:18:36.798 --> 00:18:40.499
And then of course, I've got clients that have been around, you know, years.

00:18:40.588 --> 00:18:42.479
I think my longest one now is 10 years.

00:18:43.058 --> 00:18:47.278
Is this something you have a community around or is it just you with one on one coaching?

00:18:47.679 --> 00:18:49.288
Right now it's one on one coaching.

00:18:49.338 --> 00:18:51.489
I have done group coaching programs in the past.

00:18:51.489 --> 00:18:56.388
I've had some masterminds in the past, which are, mini communities that you can create around that.

00:18:57.469 --> 00:18:58.919
And I've done those things.

00:18:58.979 --> 00:19:05.949
what I found that a lot of times the one on one coaching is better for getting people to make changes quicker.

00:19:06.318 --> 00:19:17.538
it can be a little slower sometimes in community, but the community adds value in terms of not just one to me, but the peer to peer, you know, the fact that they can coach each other and left each other up.

00:19:17.929 --> 00:19:20.038
So it's definitely something I've thought about doing.

00:19:20.088 --> 00:19:22.548
but currently it's, pretty much all one on one coaching.

00:19:23.199 --> 00:19:23.519
Okay.

00:19:23.739 --> 00:19:25.818
And where do you, where are you thinking of taking this?

00:19:28.199 --> 00:19:31.009
So I've got you know, my book's been out for a while now.

00:19:31.009 --> 00:19:32.419
That's the inspired living.

00:19:32.469 --> 00:19:40.979
you know, I I've wanting to do more speaking and more workshops, presentations, those sorts of things around that area.

00:19:41.419 --> 00:19:43.999
I'm looking to continue to do one on one coaching.

00:19:43.999 --> 00:19:44.628
I love that.

00:19:44.773 --> 00:19:49.713
Like you said, I kind of hope to add some sort of community feature in the future.

00:19:49.854 --> 00:19:51.574
Not sure what that would look like yet.

00:19:51.903 --> 00:19:56.364
So those kind of three combined areas of doing more speaking, I love speaking.

00:19:56.733 --> 00:20:01.963
but it's something that I haven't been able to basically since COVID, I really haven't restarted and started doing that again.

00:20:01.963 --> 00:20:03.423
I used to do it pre COVID.

00:20:03.844 --> 00:20:08.384
And so that's kind of an area that I want to want to get started back up and doing.

00:20:08.394 --> 00:20:10.554
That's a big focus for me in 2025.

00:20:10.923 --> 00:20:11.324
Gotcha.

00:20:11.584 --> 00:20:12.683
Tell me about the podcast.

00:20:14.104 --> 00:20:16.993
So the podcast, I started that back in 2018.

00:20:17.104 --> 00:20:18.534
It was actually January 8th.

00:20:19.814 --> 00:20:23.564
basically I was going to do it for six months and figure out whether I liked it or not.

00:20:24.124 --> 00:20:26.054
I still haven't figured out whether I like it or not.

00:20:26.074 --> 00:20:26.884
So I'm still doing it.

00:20:26.913 --> 00:20:28.273
You know, that's kind of my joke.

00:20:28.273 --> 00:20:30.344
I'm up to about 1500 episodes now.

00:20:30.344 --> 00:20:34.743
So, you know, been doing it at one time I was podcasting six days a week.

00:20:34.743 --> 00:20:38.544
So I had two interviews and then I had four solo episodes, during the week.

00:20:38.544 --> 00:20:40.493
So I would have, six episodes a week.

00:20:40.933 --> 00:20:42.453
I love doing the interviews.

00:20:42.453 --> 00:20:45.473
the great thing about that is it's introduced me to a lot of great people.

00:20:45.723 --> 00:20:50.554
I have had a lot of great guests, you know, the book came out of the podcast in two ways.

00:20:50.564 --> 00:20:53.054
One, everyone that helped me with the book.

00:20:53.364 --> 00:21:02.124
Everyone that did forwards, everyone that gave me feedback, all of that stuff was somebody I met through podcasting, you know, that my book writing coach, I met him through podcast, all of that.

00:21:02.384 --> 00:21:09.949
And then the second way is my podcast was actually the content that became the book because it turns out I talk, I'm an auditory processor.

00:21:10.368 --> 00:21:11.378
I talk to think.

00:21:11.709 --> 00:21:22.209
And so podcasting for me is also a way that I can think through ideas and kind of massage them and present them and then get feedback on them too, because people send you emails, you know, Hey, you're an idiot.

00:21:22.239 --> 00:21:23.939
You missed the boat on that, you know, whatever.

00:21:24.239 --> 00:21:26.689
And then I also get to have conversations with people and kind of.

00:21:27.429 --> 00:21:28.999
Have that dialogue that way.

00:21:29.009 --> 00:21:34.259
And so all of that content was able to kind of pull together and become the book as well.

00:21:34.288 --> 00:21:37.878
So that's, those two areas are directly connected for me.

00:21:38.159 --> 00:21:42.919
Um, but the podcast is something that, you know, like I said, I still haven't figured out whether I like it yet.

00:21:42.929 --> 00:21:44.989
So, you know, maybe one of these days I'll figure that out.

00:21:46.169 --> 00:21:46.858
You know, it's funny.

00:21:47.068 --> 00:21:49.588
I started similarly, although much more recently.

00:21:49.588 --> 00:21:49.848
Right.

00:21:49.898 --> 00:21:55.088
I mean, ours launched on February 20th of 23, but, we committed to one year.

00:21:55.138 --> 00:21:58.179
And after that one year, my partner dropped off and I stayed on.

00:21:58.528 --> 00:22:01.679
I do find myself enjoying it more and more and the folks I meet.

00:22:02.233 --> 00:22:06.913
And what I learned in the conversations and opportunities that come your way are tremendous, right?

00:22:07.294 --> 00:22:24.653
so it's really been a fun journey, so far with it now Why I started was to inspire but now i'm getting so much more out of it personally and I'm hoping people By sharing it with the world via podcast, it inspires some folks, but, it's almost more selfish.

00:22:24.653 --> 00:22:30.834
I think now why I keep it going because of the folks I meet and what I learn on it and everything.

00:22:31.284 --> 00:22:31.673
Oh yeah.

00:22:32.324 --> 00:22:40.763
And it's both, you know, I mean, and by the way, there's nothing wrong with having selfish reasons for some of the things that you do, you know, you need those too.

00:22:41.054 --> 00:22:48.653
you know, like my coaching business, There's selfish reasons why I do my coaching business, my podcast, there's selfish reasons why I do my podcast.

00:22:48.653 --> 00:22:51.084
There's selfish reasons, for everything that we do.

00:22:51.394 --> 00:22:58.104
At the same time, there's also, like you said, there's community reasons, there's serving others reasons, there's all of those.

00:22:58.114 --> 00:23:02.824
So I think the problem comes for us when we end up with one of those and not the other.

00:23:03.304 --> 00:23:07.304
Because if all you ever do is focus just on the serving others.

00:23:08.203 --> 00:23:15.124
part, then a lot of times you end up burning up and burning out and lifting your own cup and never refilling it.

00:23:15.453 --> 00:23:19.644
And if all you ever focus on is the selfish part, well, we all know those people, right?

00:23:19.663 --> 00:23:20.884
We call them narcissists, right?

00:23:21.203 --> 00:23:24.564
You know, these are the people that, and now you're taking advantage of people.

00:23:24.564 --> 00:23:25.594
You're running over people.

00:23:25.594 --> 00:23:26.733
You're manipulating people.

00:23:27.064 --> 00:23:29.453
So it's having a healthy balance between.

00:23:29.939 --> 00:23:40.159
Both of those and recognizing both of those and not letting either one kind of take over and control what you do that I think becomes really important.

00:23:40.749 --> 00:23:41.739
Yeah, that's a great point.

00:23:42.888 --> 00:23:46.499
So let me ask you something that you ask on your part as well.

00:23:47.608 --> 00:23:54.388
If you could travel into the future and look back on your life, what impact Do you hope you would have had in the world?

00:23:54.608 --> 00:23:54.949
Right.

00:23:54.999 --> 00:23:55.308
Yeah.

00:23:55.308 --> 00:23:58.669
That's my, I love asking that question because that's my question.

00:23:59.689 --> 00:24:02.509
Basically it's the obituary question, only it's nicer.

00:24:02.669 --> 00:24:06.388
You know, so if, if anyone knows the obituary question, right, it's write your own obituary, right.

00:24:06.388 --> 00:24:08.798
What do you want people to say about you when you pass away?

00:24:09.199 --> 00:24:12.578
Well, that that's always struck me as just really weird and creepy.

00:24:13.048 --> 00:24:16.788
So I had to come up with a way of asking that question without asking that question.

00:24:17.088 --> 00:24:18.638
Think about looking back from the future.

00:24:18.689 --> 00:24:21.969
if you traveled in a time machine into the future and you were able to look back at your life.

00:24:22.538 --> 00:24:27.108
So for me, I really hope my impact, comes up in a couple of ways.

00:24:27.709 --> 00:24:30.419
First and foremost, for me, I am a person of faith.

00:24:30.429 --> 00:24:33.118
I believe in making an impact that spreads.

00:24:33.969 --> 00:24:35.028
that message.

00:24:35.328 --> 00:24:44.439
one of my clients who was a Muslim, actually told me after we'd been working together for several months, he looked at me, he said, yeah, Scott, you're a Christian, but you're not annoying about it.

00:24:45.009 --> 00:24:49.489
And I'm like, dude, I will take that as a tremendous compliment because I know what you mean.

00:24:49.588 --> 00:24:51.509
it's like, I've run into some of those Christians too.

00:24:51.528 --> 00:24:53.648
I got you, that's what I mean.

00:24:53.648 --> 00:24:57.368
I want to live my faith in a way that where people can look at me and go, yeah, he was a man of faith.

00:24:59.338 --> 00:25:02.398
That's just part of who he was, you know, that was how he lived.

00:25:02.409 --> 00:25:03.509
That was his message.

00:25:03.979 --> 00:25:06.759
secondly, I obviously want to serve my family.

00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:12.729
Well, so my wife, my son, my adopted daughter, who to her two girls, which are my God daughters.

00:25:13.229 --> 00:25:16.409
I want to be able to know that I've looked back and I've treated them.

00:25:16.409 --> 00:25:17.834
Well, I've provided.

00:25:18.173 --> 00:25:18.644
for them.

00:25:18.644 --> 00:25:19.903
Well, I've served them.

00:25:19.903 --> 00:25:21.653
Well, I've been a good example for them.

00:25:21.673 --> 00:25:22.854
All of those things.

00:25:23.913 --> 00:25:37.489
And then, you know, the third area is just that I've left behind a message for those people that I've come into contact with, whether that's their coaching, whether that's through, when I was a school teacher, all of those different areas.

00:25:37.638 --> 00:25:50.798
Parts of my life, whether that's just opening a door for somebody at the mall, but when I've done those, when I've had those contacts that I hope that I've had more of them where I've left that person a little better off than they were before they met me.

00:25:51.378 --> 00:25:57.999
you know, cause let's face it, we all have interactions with people where if we're honest and we reflect on it later, we didn't leave them better off.

00:25:58.388 --> 00:26:05.989
And, I hope in the long run that I've left more people better off than I've damaged or harmed or held back, in the big picture.

00:26:06.423 --> 00:26:18.144
Yeah, yeah, that's a great value and something I try to enter, or I should say exit, anything I do with, right, you know, and for me it goes back to the old boy scout, it's not the model.

00:26:18.144 --> 00:26:18.733
Leave it a little better.

00:26:19.054 --> 00:26:21.193
Yeah, leave the campsite better than you found it, right?

00:26:21.243 --> 00:26:21.534
Mm hmm.

00:26:21.564 --> 00:26:22.233
Always go back.

00:26:22.409 --> 00:26:25.028
Clean it up, make sure it's a lot nicer than when you got there.

00:26:25.128 --> 00:26:29.739
If you used wood that was cut and stacked there, so cut some wood, replace the wood, you know, that kind of thing.

00:26:29.838 --> 00:26:36.469
I also think back on that question when you said that, you know, there was a creepier way of putting it, Charlie Munger, who's Warren Buffett's old partner.

00:26:36.469 --> 00:26:39.108
I find myself, you know, citing him a lot.

00:26:39.229 --> 00:26:57.554
The guy had a lot of great one liners and one of them was, if, if you want to know how to live your life just figure out your write your obituary and reverse engineer it Well scott on that note We'll go into our world famous Wayfinder four questions.

00:26:57.604 --> 00:26:57.993
Are you ready?

00:27:01.144 --> 00:27:05.763
Hey everyone, I'm really excited to let you know about our new sponsor METPRO.

00:27:06.213 --> 00:27:12.703
You may recall from episode 56 with my coach Bianca Wagner that I tried METPRO.

00:27:13.074 --> 00:27:19.993
It's a sports nutrition program and I worked with them during my training for the Tokyo Marathon in March of 2024.

00:27:20.614 --> 00:27:28.884
I'm proud to report that at 48 years old and after 13 marathons I was still able to set a personal record in the marathon.

00:27:29.213 --> 00:27:32.874
of 30 hours, 3 minutes, and 52 seconds.

00:27:33.453 --> 00:27:38.044
More importantly, I felt strong during and after the marathon.

00:27:38.554 --> 00:27:41.034
I really credit a lot of that success to MedPro.

00:27:41.554 --> 00:27:42.943
They were really great to work with.

00:27:43.278 --> 00:27:50.249
Coach Bianca was always available to help me make the best nutrition decisions and the app they provided was very helpful.

00:27:50.588 --> 00:27:57.078
They even told me what to order off menus and at holiday parties so I would feel strong throughout my training.

00:27:57.388 --> 00:28:00.709
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00:28:00.999 --> 00:28:08.358
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00:28:08.608 --> 00:28:10.844
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00:28:16.124 --> 00:28:28.334
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00:28:28.723 --> 00:28:29.324
Thank you.

00:28:29.483 --> 00:28:30.614
And now back to our show.

00:28:33.336 --> 00:28:34.445
Okay, I'm ready.

00:28:34.806 --> 00:28:35.256
All right.

00:28:35.695 --> 00:28:38.715
So, Scott, can you give us a hack that you use?

00:28:39.125 --> 00:28:49.056
So for me, one of my biggest hacks is actually the idea of I'm going to go back to something I teach clients to this idea of budgeting.

00:28:49.391 --> 00:29:02.371
And now before everyone rolls their eyes, I don't just mean budgeting money, but the idea of sitting down and being intentional about planning what you're going to do with your time, what you're going to do with your money, what you're going to do with your everything, right?

00:29:02.711 --> 00:29:05.590
It's that idea of creating a budget.

00:29:05.621 --> 00:29:17.270
And I actually literally use a form, for my money budget, I use a form for my time budget, by the way, anyone who wants one, I've got them, I'll give them to you, this isn't anything fancy.

00:29:17.530 --> 00:29:20.820
So I'll provide those for you if you're interested in using that as a hack.

00:29:21.211 --> 00:29:38.540
And the reason that's a hack is because most people, when they talk about doing things, They don't actually follow through with the intentionality of planning and making sure that they actually have the time available to do it and the money available to do it, in the areas of their life available to do it.

00:29:38.810 --> 00:29:41.431
And so for me, that's a big hack that helps serve me well.

00:29:42.090 --> 00:29:42.631
I love that.

00:29:44.121 --> 00:29:45.560
How about a favorite?

00:29:47.020 --> 00:29:47.621
A favorite?

00:29:47.911 --> 00:29:48.240
Yep.

00:29:48.361 --> 00:29:48.661
Could be.

00:29:48.661 --> 00:29:50.000
What do you mean a book?

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:50.631
A show?

00:29:50.631 --> 00:29:51.500
A hobby.

00:29:51.901 --> 00:29:52.711
a favorite.

00:29:52.711 --> 00:29:53.760
Wow, that's broad.

00:29:55.111 --> 00:30:00.770
you know, I think right now,'cause obviously I think what our favorites are very over time, right?

00:30:00.770 --> 00:30:02.601
my wife and I are.

00:30:03.266 --> 00:30:18.076
in the process of going through a, minimalization, of, getting rid of stuff and cleaning things out And so I think for me, a lot of my favorites right now are kind of almost anti favorites.

00:30:18.846 --> 00:30:23.726
And what I mean by that is my favorites are the stuff I'm getting rid of, you know, the stuff I'm getting.

00:30:24.020 --> 00:30:24.951
Out of my life.

00:30:24.951 --> 00:30:41.050
So, you know, going through my, my favorite right now, believe it or not, it's like going through my closet and finding t shirts that I haven't worn for a year and a half and going, let's take them down and give them to the homeless shelter or give them to the people that need it and get it out of my closet because it's, doesn't bring me joy.

00:30:41.050 --> 00:30:45.441
It's not serving me any purpose and I can put it somewhere else where it'll serve.

00:30:46.570 --> 00:30:47.830
and so we're actually kind of.

00:30:48.586 --> 00:31:00.756
Getting rid of things and believe it or not that act of doing that is finding new favorites for me too In terms of what i'm keeping and what i'm getting rid of I know that's a weird answer No, it's a great answer.

00:31:00.816 --> 00:31:01.875
I once read a book.

00:31:01.885 --> 00:31:19.115
I think it's called like the joy of tidying up or something It's a really simple book by a japanese author that was really succinct about that and I found myself doing that one year like Just just Yeah, I got rid of a lot of clothes and files and books and, you know, and all kinds of stuff, right?

00:31:19.165 --> 00:31:23.586
And there was just something about doing that that just felt so good.

00:31:23.846 --> 00:31:25.516
I mean, it was really satisfying.

00:31:25.826 --> 00:31:28.465
It's the act of doing it brings me joy.

00:31:28.496 --> 00:31:32.796
And then also again, what I'm finding joy in is, you know, getting down to the things.

00:31:32.796 --> 00:31:35.145
It's like, you know, these are the things that I actually enjoy.

00:31:35.750 --> 00:32:01.361
You know, I want to keep these because these actually serve a purpose and then, most of the stuff we're getting rid of, we're trying to find ways to not just throw it in the trash or, send it to the landfill, but actually like, okay, is this, are these clothes in good enough shapes that we can turn them into, you know, somebody else can get some use from, or these items, furniture, whatever it is, trying to find a way, not just to sell them or make money from them but even just, to recycle them in a way where, somebody else can get joy from this.

00:32:01.361 --> 00:32:03.040
You know, it doesn't have to be me getting the joy.

00:32:05.131 --> 00:32:07.471
What about a piece of advice for your younger self?

00:32:08.951 --> 00:32:18.111
You know, if I could go back in time and tell my younger self, a piece of advice, I think for me, it would be, don't sweat the small stuff, right?

00:32:18.111 --> 00:32:26.030
That idea of concentrate on the big picture, concentrate on what are your big goals?

00:32:26.030 --> 00:32:27.471
What are your big desires?

00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:29.201
What's most important to you?

00:32:29.250 --> 00:32:30.881
time with my family is important.

00:32:31.320 --> 00:32:35.861
time spent in, in meditation and prayer, those things it's important.

00:32:36.361 --> 00:32:40.320
And I think a lot of times I, I lost track of that.

00:32:40.490 --> 00:32:46.040
in the busyness of just kind of living life and functioning and doing all of the things that we do.

00:32:46.570 --> 00:32:56.320
And so again, kind of back to that minimalization, it's, it's that idea of carving away and saying no to things so that you can spend time on those things that truly are most important to you.

00:32:56.681 --> 00:32:58.851
And I think that's something we all have to do constantly.

00:32:58.851 --> 00:33:04.691
I mean, that's something I help my clients Coaches need coaches because it's really hard for me to do it for myself.

00:33:04.692 --> 00:33:11.730
And so I've had to bring other people into my life to kind of go, Hey, dude, You know, you can't coach yourself.

00:33:11.740 --> 00:33:13.810
So let me coach you through how to do that.

00:33:14.090 --> 00:33:19.730
and it's that idea of focusing in on the big picture instead of the small stuff.

00:33:19.770 --> 00:33:21.912
I think that's the biggest advice that I'd give people.

00:33:22.457 --> 00:33:31.116
Yeah, you know, I heard a really good term from a previous guest, who's also a coach and he put as having outside the outside eyes principle, right?

00:33:31.686 --> 00:33:32.787
That's why coaches need coaches.

00:33:32.836 --> 00:33:33.287
Yeah.

00:33:33.366 --> 00:33:34.196
That's so true.

00:33:34.227 --> 00:33:38.957
I mean, we all know what to do, but we just, sometimes we need somebody else to tell us.

00:33:39.007 --> 00:33:40.916
I jokingly tell people all the time.

00:33:40.916 --> 00:33:43.707
I'm like, you've hired me to tell you what you already know.

00:33:44.326 --> 00:33:46.606
Believe it or not, that's actually a lot of coaching.

00:33:48.957 --> 00:33:55.586
It's helping you draw out what you actually already know, but you just haven't yet really believed it.

00:33:55.586 --> 00:34:01.426
And all of a sudden, if we can get you to the point where you believe it, now you'll act, you know, now you'll actually do something.

00:34:01.946 --> 00:34:09.896
What do you think about, I don't know if you ever have, like, you know, somebody tells you something you already know, but it hadn't occurred to you, right?

00:34:09.896 --> 00:34:15.106
You needed the inside eyes to come to you and you just say, duh, like, why didn't I think of that?

00:34:15.197 --> 00:34:15.467
Right.

00:34:15.777 --> 00:34:19.376
But you're limited in that you don't pay for a coach because of that.

00:34:19.786 --> 00:34:20.137
Right.

00:34:21.396 --> 00:34:22.476
What do you think?

00:34:22.487 --> 00:34:23.356
What do you say to that?

00:34:23.766 --> 00:34:31.987
Well, one of the things that I've found is, you know, there is a difference between somebody giving you advice and somebody coaching you.

00:34:32.766 --> 00:34:34.996
So as a coach, I am not an advisor.

00:34:35.317 --> 00:34:37.206
I'm a coach and there is a difference.

00:34:37.516 --> 00:34:40.666
So an advisor, right, gives you advice.

00:34:40.706 --> 00:34:42.637
That's kind of why we call it advisor.

00:34:42.637 --> 00:34:43.706
That's why we call it advice.

00:34:43.947 --> 00:34:45.197
They tell you what to do.

00:34:45.447 --> 00:34:46.797
They give you the statement.

00:34:46.896 --> 00:34:48.117
they give you the action.

00:34:49.516 --> 00:34:50.827
You could follow through with it.

00:34:51.556 --> 00:35:03.237
You could not, if you're honest with yourself, most of us get advice from friends all the time that we don't actually put into practice, some of it's pretty good advice, some of it might not be good advice, but we do, or don't put it into practice.

00:35:03.746 --> 00:35:06.177
A coach is really more engaged.

00:35:06.177 --> 00:35:12.887
Sometimes I am actually giving advice, but very seldom instead it's about drawing out of you.

00:35:13.797 --> 00:35:17.867
What is the actual things that you.

00:35:18.367 --> 00:35:25.277
want to be doing, should be doing and aren't doing, and that could be again in time, that could be money, that could be in different areas.

00:35:25.277 --> 00:35:28.097
It's all part of our life, you know, different parts of your life.

00:35:28.556 --> 00:35:33.157
And that requires not telling you what to do, but instead asking you good questions.

00:35:33.806 --> 00:35:36.856
So a lot of times when I say part of my job is to tell you what you already know.

00:35:37.802 --> 00:35:42.431
Technically, literally, I'm not telling you what you already know, but I am drawing out of you what you already know.

00:35:42.512 --> 00:35:50.641
And now advice can be useful because now all of a sudden it's specific to, hey, wait a minute, what's holding you back from taking action?

00:35:51.152 --> 00:35:53.422
What is the limiting belief that's in the way?

00:35:53.442 --> 00:35:56.322
What's the practical thing that's in the way?

00:35:56.521 --> 00:36:05.791
And so now if I am going to give you advice, the advice is targeted more towards, again, back to that tool in the toolbox category, you know, now I know, oh, I need a pipe wrench to fix this.

00:36:06.157 --> 00:36:07.567
Hey, here's a pipe rich.

00:36:07.567 --> 00:36:12.436
Why don't you go try that for a while and see if that helps you, you know, and then come back and we'll talk about it.

00:36:12.827 --> 00:36:14.976
So it's, it's more diagnosis.

00:36:14.987 --> 00:36:16.617
It's more asking questions.

00:36:16.617 --> 00:36:22.867
It's more engaging with the person and then applying the right tools at the right time for the right person.

00:36:23.556 --> 00:36:24.266
Cause guess what?

00:36:24.367 --> 00:36:27.487
If the person doesn't need a pipe rich, but they need a hammer.

00:36:28.052 --> 00:36:37.661
Well, technically, you can hammer a nail into a wall with a pipe wrench, not the best tool for the job, you know, so instead, that's where now the advice comes in the hammer thing.

00:36:39.001 --> 00:36:47.505
And that's what happens a lot of time with the advice thing is the problem is, if the person that's giving you the advice, all they know about is the pipe wrench.

00:36:48.387 --> 00:36:51.686
They're going to tell you, Hey, dude, here's a Piperidge, it will solve your problem.

00:36:51.797 --> 00:36:55.117
And it will, but it doesn't solve it in the best way possible.

00:36:55.117 --> 00:36:56.666
It doesn't actually help you to the best.

00:36:57.047 --> 00:36:58.996
And so you end up giving up on the advice, right?

00:36:59.146 --> 00:36:59.556
Yeah.

00:36:59.927 --> 00:37:09.157
And so instead, as a coach, it's really about engaging, diagnosing, asking those good questions so that when we do give you a tool, it's actually the right tool and you'll actually use it.

00:37:09.166 --> 00:37:10.487
You'll actually get benefit from it.

00:37:10.887 --> 00:37:11.257
Yeah.

00:37:11.572 --> 00:37:12.311
That's a great point.

00:37:12.521 --> 00:37:18.972
I was thinking about the hammer and a pipe wrench example in like, when you're getting business advice from your lawyer versus your accountant.

00:37:19.621 --> 00:37:19.862
Absolutely.

00:37:20.121 --> 00:37:21.452
They have different lenses.

00:37:21.952 --> 00:37:22.931
Very different lenses.

00:37:22.931 --> 00:37:23.202
Right.

00:37:23.202 --> 00:37:24.751
One's trying to keep you out of trouble.

00:37:24.751 --> 00:37:26.762
And the other one is just trying to save you money.

00:37:26.762 --> 00:37:27.001
Right.

00:37:27.541 --> 00:37:34.751
Well, or, you know, I'm a financial coach and I, and I've run into problems with people where, you know, I actually am giving them advice.

00:37:35.217 --> 00:37:37.577
And I'm not an accountant, but I'm giving them advice.

00:37:37.577 --> 00:37:38.757
They're taking action.

00:37:38.936 --> 00:37:41.047
And then their accountant's like, you know, why are you doing that?

00:37:41.436 --> 00:37:45.516
and, you know, that's where I have to engage with them on, here's what you need to talk to your accountant about too.

00:37:45.586 --> 00:37:46.277
I'm not an accountant.

00:37:46.277 --> 00:37:47.697
I'm not going to give you accounting advice.

00:37:47.697 --> 00:37:50.197
That's just, you know, illegal and I'm not the right person.

00:37:50.197 --> 00:37:58.266
I'm not the expert, but there's times where, because all of a sudden, The decisions they're making have changed because their goals have changed.

00:37:58.266 --> 00:37:59.166
Their values have changed.

00:37:59.467 --> 00:37:59.737
Okay.

00:37:59.737 --> 00:38:05.146
You need to bring your other experts on board with what's changed because the problem is the accountant doesn't know your goals have changed.

00:38:05.666 --> 00:38:07.927
So now the accountant's telling you to do X, Y, Z.

00:38:07.927 --> 00:38:10.994
The real problem is it's not really in alignment with your goals.

00:38:10.994 --> 00:38:14.777
most of the time when they sit down and talk to the accountant about, Hey, this is what's changed.

00:38:14.777 --> 00:38:15.436
This is what's important.

00:38:15.637 --> 00:38:17.067
The account's like, Oh, okay.

00:38:17.097 --> 00:38:19.657
Then we need to change your plan because your goals have changed.

00:38:19.717 --> 00:38:22.907
I think a lot of times We lose track of the communication piece.

00:38:23.117 --> 00:38:29.956
That's where the lawyer, the accountant, you know, if, if you can give the lawyer, the information that they understand where the accountant's coming from and vice versa.

00:38:30.016 --> 00:38:33.157
Right now, all of a sudden they'll look at each other and go, Oh, I get you.

00:38:33.686 --> 00:38:34.027
Yeah.

00:38:34.027 --> 00:38:35.467
We want to do this this way.

00:38:35.476 --> 00:38:38.166
you get the value from both sets of experts.

00:38:38.597 --> 00:38:42.836
Cause a lot of times we silo it and we only tell the lawyer what we think the lawyer needs to know.

00:38:42.836 --> 00:38:45.556
And we only tell the accountant what we think the accountant needs to know.

00:38:46.097 --> 00:38:48.226
And then of course we're getting incomplete advice.

00:38:48.257 --> 00:39:03.077
So last one, your choice, you get to pick between a limiting belief or a big opportunity, a limiting belief or a big opportunity for me, or that you see out there and just how to do it.

00:39:03.177 --> 00:39:05.056
it's always better when you use your own example.

00:39:05.356 --> 00:39:05.947
Absolutely.

00:39:05.947 --> 00:39:10.226
I get that, I'll kind of go to the limiting belief one.

00:39:10.226 --> 00:39:16.217
and this is one that I've struggled with and continue to struggle with at some level.

00:39:16.536 --> 00:39:18.626
I think limiting beliefs, we can get rid of them.

00:39:18.637 --> 00:39:19.387
We can fight them.

00:39:19.387 --> 00:39:20.427
We can combat them.

00:39:20.427 --> 00:39:29.077
We can restructure them, but they always kind of, I jokingly say, if you manage to get rid of all your limiting beliefs, what you'll do is discover a whole new list of limiting beliefs.

00:39:29.077 --> 00:39:30.827
Cause you'll kind of dig to a deeper level.

00:39:32.597 --> 00:39:34.836
So I don't think it ever really goes away completely.

00:39:35.056 --> 00:39:37.797
And that's this idea That.

00:39:38.351 --> 00:39:42.121
What we do, what we matter, you know, how we do it.

00:39:43.981 --> 00:39:47.791
It's around, I'm struggling with how to say it's around this idea of polarization.

00:39:48.251 --> 00:40:10.262
You know, I think so much right now, we've created an environment where everybody just wants to yell at each other about, who they are, what they believe, why you're wrong, you know, I believe this and you're an idiot because you don't believe that, and everyone's putting everyone in buckets where, It's like they learn one little thing about Louis, you know, I know this thing about you.

00:40:10.262 --> 00:40:19.061
And therefore, now I know everything about you, you know, if you feel that way about this political candidate, well, then you also, you know, all of this stuff comes along with it.

00:40:19.112 --> 00:40:21.942
it's we're labeling and putting people in boxes.

00:40:22.322 --> 00:40:28.021
And it's this idea that we do of putting everything into those little boxes of either this or that.

00:40:28.822 --> 00:40:48.282
And what I've been struggling with a lot, and in fact my next book is going to be on this topic, is how we can live in a place of in between, how we can live in a place of both and, where we can see the nuance, we can see the gray, we can see the, you know, the Trump supporter that also believes.

00:40:48.521 --> 00:41:00.192
Something that, you know, it doesn't seem like if they're a Trump supporter, they should actually believe that, you know, that, like I run into somebody who's a diehard Trump supporter, but they also very, feel very passionately about, you know, L.

00:41:00.192 --> 00:41:00.532
G.

00:41:00.612 --> 00:41:01.061
B.

00:41:01.442 --> 00:41:01.791
Q.

00:41:01.791 --> 00:41:02.132
T.

00:41:02.132 --> 00:41:02.402
I.

00:41:02.411 --> 00:41:09.797
Plus kinds of issues, you know, and it's like, and normally I would look at a Trump supporter and go, You couldn't be a supporter of them.

00:41:09.817 --> 00:41:15.936
You know, the guys at the pride parade, you know, he's not gay, but he's very supportive of those issues.

00:41:15.936 --> 00:41:19.336
And it's like, wait a minute, that's fascinating to me.

00:41:19.376 --> 00:41:20.547
I want to go talk to that guy.

00:41:20.666 --> 00:41:24.146
I want to learn more about how did you arrive at this place in your life?

00:41:24.157 --> 00:41:25.226
Why do you believe this?

00:41:25.697 --> 00:41:41.677
And for me, the same way I've got friends, I've got others that, you know, maybe I don't see with the, One issue or in another issue, and yet how can I actually engage with them and learn more about them and figure out why, why do they believe what they believe, as opposed to why are they wrong.

00:41:42.947 --> 00:41:47.827
Which it seems like so often that's why we're having a conversation is so we can tell the other person why they're wrong.

00:41:48.327 --> 00:41:50.436
And, and I just, I wish.

00:41:51.297 --> 00:42:00.657
All of us could get to that place where we're not limiting what we see in other people just based on little pieces of information or data about them.

00:42:02.347 --> 00:42:05.487
Scott, that is so profound, especially right now.

00:42:05.547 --> 00:42:09.797
Uh, when this comes out, it will be after the election, unfortunately.

00:42:09.896 --> 00:42:10.737
Well, it doesn't matter.

00:42:10.757 --> 00:42:11.597
It's still true.

00:42:11.646 --> 00:42:15.356
But I feel like I should be moving it up because it absolutely should be true.

00:42:15.356 --> 00:42:18.047
And especially, you see that most poignantly come out.

00:42:18.431 --> 00:42:23.692
During election season, it seems like the closer we get to a presidential election, the worse it gets every year.

00:42:23.751 --> 00:42:47.411
Oh my gosh yeah, but you know, I I've been thinking about this a lot because of the election and You know, if you really think about it some of the the biggest crimes we've committed in our society in the world revolve around our Racism and Ethnicism and all that and I think I like to believe that We're, not completely, but we've improved in those areas.

00:42:47.411 --> 00:42:51.632
But where we really haven't is, you know, ideological differences, like you say.

00:42:51.681 --> 00:42:52.472
and you're right.

00:42:52.472 --> 00:42:56.891
We pick, you know, because somebody votes one way automatically, we think they're a bad person.

00:42:56.902 --> 00:42:58.822
They can't talk to them, all this.

00:42:58.822 --> 00:43:01.541
And it's really not a good thing.

00:43:01.541 --> 00:43:09.592
Whereas if we If we're curious about why they feel the way they do and approach it with a point, point of curiosity, we might actually learn something, right?

00:43:09.641 --> 00:43:10.152
Right, right.

00:43:10.532 --> 00:43:13.472
And our minds might get greater, might expand more.

00:43:13.742 --> 00:43:16.871
And, you know, I was, for a while.

00:43:17.257 --> 00:43:22.677
Was very much leaned in one direction, however, I always voted.

00:43:22.726 --> 00:43:30.407
I mean, I always congratulated the winner no matter what right election night whoever won one that's our new president.

00:43:30.597 --> 00:43:34.476
That's the person that won support him Yeah, we got to support him whether we like it or not.

00:43:34.496 --> 00:43:35.146
You know what I mean?

00:43:35.306 --> 00:43:37.067
Otherwise, it's just gonna be a divisive country.

00:43:37.077 --> 00:43:42.192
So at the last election I, I thought the election was going to end one night.

00:43:42.231 --> 00:43:43.021
I go to bed early.

00:43:43.021 --> 00:43:46.931
I go to bed at eight thirty, nine o'clock every night, and it looked like it was going one way.

00:43:46.972 --> 00:43:54.681
And I, I left, you know, on Facebook, I mistakenly left a message on Facebook saying, congratulations, you know.

00:43:55.007 --> 00:44:05.737
President the one that did not win and I wake up the next morning And I have all these texts and chats and all this stuff My phone is blowing up and one of my old roommates from college, text me.

00:44:05.737 --> 00:44:46.632
He's like, hey louie You're getting hammered on on facebook or whatever And people who I hadn't talked to in 20 30 years, you know, we're like Just yelling screaming all kinds of I could not believe it I'm like they made all these assumptions about me and it got me to think And then I saw the news and saw what was happening and all this stuff and I was like, oh, okay Maybe I was maybe I shouldn't have put that up because there was no decision yet at that point Right, but the point was it really woke me up to That idea of how we fall into, you know, the, our ideology so much, and, and we are discriminating, as a country right now when we're just basing everything off of an ideology, and it's really sad.

00:44:46.782 --> 00:44:52.561
Uh, well, and again, that, yeah, to your point, by the way, I, I'm not, this is a political meaning.

00:44:52.791 --> 00:44:56.811
I don't care if you're liberal, conservative, up, down, right, left, you know, whatever.

00:44:57.706 --> 00:45:04.137
people discriminate on both sides, you know, and it's not unilateral.

00:45:04.177 --> 00:45:13.347
This isn't one side doing it to the other, you know, despite the fact that you hear it put that way a lot by both sides, you know, and it's like, it's no, it's everybody's doing it.

00:45:13.376 --> 00:45:14.806
Cause we're all making those assumptions.

00:45:14.806 --> 00:45:23.907
We're all, you know, I really thought, and, and, you know, being, I mean, I was obviously voting on a democratic left side for most of my time as an adult.

00:45:23.996 --> 00:45:51.586
and after that night, I was like, wow, how could these people who I thought were my friends, that we all were aligned, they all know me, like, say these things at me, and why, I'm just paying my respects to the winner, who I thought was the winner, and obviously it didn't turn out that way, but I've, I actually dedicated my last four years to really trying to understand both sides, and so I, I really have gotten out of my way to read the news from both sides, both, I didn't, By the way, I didn't follow liberal media.

00:45:51.597 --> 00:45:55.817
Like I don't watch MSNBC or CNN, you know, but I, I just started looking at it all.

00:45:56.177 --> 00:45:58.356
you know, really kind of what I've been doing too.

00:45:58.456 --> 00:46:05.626
And when you start to do that, you really start to see everything through a whole different lens and you start to realize how we're all discriminating.

00:46:05.686 --> 00:46:09.027
I mean, well, and, and how often, It's all about the framing, right?

00:46:09.056 --> 00:46:12.657
And, you know, and again, you know, as a coach, this is something that I'm big on with clients, right?

00:46:12.677 --> 00:46:13.936
Re framing things, right?

00:46:13.936 --> 00:46:15.206
Look at things a different way.

00:46:15.567 --> 00:46:20.697
you tune into one, you know, MSNBC, you're going to get one sort of lens.

00:46:20.746 --> 00:46:22.336
It's the same as the accountant lawyer, right?

00:46:22.927 --> 00:46:27.367
We look at things through lenses that we have and backgrounds that we have.

00:46:27.456 --> 00:46:29.597
and it's not malicious even.

00:46:29.737 --> 00:46:29.996
No.

00:46:30.456 --> 00:46:37.867
Honestly, don't hear things and don't see things that don't meet with our preconceived beliefs.

00:46:37.896 --> 00:46:44.257
You know, so often what we're doing is cherry picking evidence to confirm what we want to have confirmed.

00:46:44.726 --> 00:46:45.067
Yeah.

00:46:45.336 --> 00:46:45.586
Yeah.

00:46:45.586 --> 00:46:50.007
You have to be really deliberate to go look for evidence that disconfirms what you already believe.

00:46:50.106 --> 00:46:50.847
That's correct.

00:46:50.867 --> 00:46:51.186
Yep.

00:46:51.246 --> 00:46:53.197
We're just creating confirmation biases.

00:46:53.387 --> 00:46:54.086
Well, Scott.

00:46:54.211 --> 00:46:57.802
that this could be a really deep conversation that could go down a huge way.

00:46:57.802 --> 00:46:59.161
We can start a whole other episode.

00:46:59.161 --> 00:47:02.851
I know, we can start a whole other podcast on this one, but we'll hold off on that.

00:47:02.871 --> 00:47:11.112
Why don't we let people know where, if they want to know more about you, if they want to seek you out as a coach, get your book, listen to your podcast, what can they get?

00:47:11.521 --> 00:47:12.242
Absolutely.

00:47:12.242 --> 00:47:15.851
So the best place, I actually put together a page just for your listeners.

00:47:15.862 --> 00:47:18.981
So if you go over to inspired stewardship.

00:47:19.262 --> 00:47:26.192
com forward slash wayfinder, you'll be able to find pretty much everything that you just said.

00:47:26.192 --> 00:47:30.052
So earlier, I mentioned some tools on budgeting time, budgeting money, those sorts of things.

00:47:30.431 --> 00:47:34.481
There's actually a place that you can sign up to get a stewardship series.

00:47:34.481 --> 00:47:35.851
That'll have those tools in it.

00:47:36.501 --> 00:47:39.992
There's also a place you can find out more about my book, inspired living.

00:47:40.512 --> 00:47:43.211
About the podcast and so on, all of that's on there.

00:47:43.581 --> 00:47:46.342
So if you just want the free resources, grab those.

00:47:46.371 --> 00:47:51.192
if you're interested in learning a little bit more about me, you can do all of that over there at inspired stewardship.

00:47:51.452 --> 00:47:53.692
com forward slash wayfinder.

00:47:54.101 --> 00:47:54.782
Oh, excellent.

00:47:54.811 --> 00:47:56.101
Thank you so much for that, Scott.

00:47:56.572 --> 00:47:58.952
Hey, it's been a real big joy having you on here.

00:47:58.952 --> 00:48:03.081
You've also been a great mentor to me in this podcasting journey.

00:48:03.442 --> 00:48:08.461
you're one of the first podcasts I was ever on and you gave me a ton of advice.

00:48:08.902 --> 00:48:10.371
so I really appreciate that, Scott.

00:48:10.382 --> 00:48:11.061
Absolutely.

00:48:11.112 --> 00:48:11.942
I appreciate having you here.

00:48:12.291 --> 00:48:16.331
I loved you as a guest and anything I can do to help you get your message out in the world.

00:48:16.391 --> 00:48:16.742
Thank you.

00:48:16.742 --> 00:48:18.061
And thank you for doing that, Scott.

00:48:18.262 --> 00:48:18.862
Absolutely.

00:48:24.030 --> 00:48:25.789
We hope you've enjoyed The Wayfinder Show.

00:48:25.940 --> 00:48:30.159
If you got value from this episode, please take a few seconds to leave us a 5 star rating and review.

00:48:30.449 --> 00:48:34.699
This will allow us to help more people find their way to live more authentic and exciting lives.

00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:36.659
We'll catch you on the next episode.