Parents Navigating the Teen Years - Ed Gerety

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Our responsibility as parents is to communicate to our teen the unbelievable responsibility they have with their social media.

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That what they text, post, comment, and share, you know, is out there forever.

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That delete does not mean that it's gone.

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It's out there forever.

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And there's consequences to that.

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Welcome to the Wayfinder show with Louie Hernandez, where guests discuss the why and how of making changes that led them down a more authentic path or allow them to level up in some area of their life.

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Our goal is to dig deep and provide not only knowledge, but actionable advice to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

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Come join us and find the way to your dream life.

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All right, welcome back to the wayfinder show today.

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We have a very special guest all the way from new hampshire Ed garrity ed is an inspirational keynote speaker author and podcast Host known for his unique ability to connect with the hearts and minds of his audience with a career spanning over three decades He has captivated audiences across north america ed's empowering message of gratitude respect love Kindness and resilience has been shared with over 3 million people in his new book, shine your light.

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Ed Garrity takes you on an empowering journey, guiding you to discover more confidence, clarity, and inspiration.

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This inspirational book is written for seekers of life who are driven to manifest their dreams and lead a powerful purposeful life.

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he's a great fit for the wayfinder show and we're really happy to have him on as a guest, His other focus, is the highly regarded podcast, Parents Navigating the Teen Years, which addresses crucial issues facing parents and teenagers today.

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His online multimedia program, Stand Up for Your Greatness, is widely utilized in middle schools and high schools across North America, guiding students to strengthen their leadership skills.

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Ed, welcome to The Wayfinder Show.

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Thank you, Louis.

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I'm so excited to be here today.

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Yeah, thank you.

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We're excited to have you on.

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I love having the opportunity to talk to parenting experts about parenting, especially the teen years because that's the phase, of life that my wife and I are in right now.

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and those are challenging years, right?

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They certainly are challenging years and I'm right with you because my wife and I, we have two teenagers right now.

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We have, our son is going to a sophomore year in college.

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So he's 19 and our daughter, she's going to her senior year in high school.

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She's 17.

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We've been navigating the teen years for a little while I am not a parenting expert because, nobody's an expert in parenting it is a wild ride and there's not just one right way of being a parent.

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Thank you for bringing that to our attention.

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You're absolutely right, especially, just having two kids, you can see such big differences between them once you think you figure it out, then the other one comes along and changes everything, right?

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Absolutely.

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one of the things I've noticed Louis, is not only are they different, in terms of how you parent them, But along with those differences, there are also some really common themes.

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And one of the things I've noticed with our teenagers, and learned in talking with parents different psychologists and therapists is that so many teens struggle with that idea of having that self confidence and building their self confidence.

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as a parent, I think you would agree.

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that's one of the things we want our kids to have as they navigate life we beat ourselves up a lot, thinking we might have instilled some of that in them.

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Is that right?

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I know there's the common term of mother's guilt, and my wife commonly shares that, but internally, as a father, I share it.

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I wonder, hey, did I instill that lack of confidence in my child my wife and I talk about this a lot, too, that, no one's perfect, and so we are going to make mistakes, and we're going to say things, and do things, that maybe we wish we hadn't said or done, or we're going to wish that we had done certain things, or said certain things that we didn't do.

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You learn from those mistakes, and you move forward.

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I think it's really important as parents that we're honest with our teens.

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So that when we make a mistake, when we say, Hey, I didn't handle this situation as well as I wanted to, we show that we're real and that, Hey, this is my first rodeo as a parent, just that it is your first rodeo as being a teenager.

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So we're in this together.

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And I think when you can be open and honest with your team and let them know that you don't have it all figured out that really creates real trust in the relationship.

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Yep.

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I sometimes, now that I'm seeing, with my 16 year old daughter, who I have the most challenges with, we all do, in this household, I sometimes, get into this self beat up about did I instill some, Was I too hard on her and is that why there's a lack of confidence these kinds of things, And then one day the one special thing we had during the school year is I bring her to school every day And that's really our only time to bond.

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We have no choice but to be in that car for 15 minutes together.

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And it's a magical time, right?

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one day after a big blow up that we had the night before, I came out and said to her, Hey, I apologize for how we have this relationship now and, The blow up and any feelings you have I beat myself up over it a lot and your mother does too, all we can do is start all over every day and hope that, we can learn from it and get better because, I want to maintain this great relationship led to one of the most magical conversations we ever had.

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We both started bawling in the car and it was funny cause my wife called, somewhere in there and my daughter picked it up and she's mom, shut up.

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We're having a feel sesh or something like that, which is really funny.

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That's what she called it.

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But it was great.

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A huge breakthrough.

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And then of course it all went back to normal, but I think that honesty and transparency really.

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the honesty and the transparency is so important.

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I also think stop beating yourself up.

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I know it's natural for all of us to do that.

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one of the first ways to stop beating yourself up is that okay, so we move forward from the past what we did and what we didn't do when they were 10 12 11 or even younger, you know what, That's over.

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So we have to just keep moving forward.

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And I think one of the ways you keep moving forward is to continue to remind your teen, how much you love them and how much you appreciate them.

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I really think sometimes Parents make the mistake that as our kids get older, when our kids are little, it's easy to tell our kids, I love you.

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And I'm so proud of you.

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And because the kids will come right back to you when they're little and go, I love you too.

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and thank you and all.

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And then as our teens get older, you say, I love you.

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You don't hear those.

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I love yous back maybe as often, or you might never hear it at all, or even hear, thank you, dad, or thank you mom for everything you've done for me.

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So I think it's important that, As we navigate the teen years, it's really important to, be open and honest, but also continue to express your gratitude and your appreciation to them and say, hey, to let them know that they are loved.

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And how do you do that?

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You can do it in a number of different ways.

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You can do it verbally, Expressing that through your words of saying, I love you and say, I appreciate how hard you're working in school.

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I appreciate the effort you're putting in the activities that you're doing.

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you can do it verbally, but I think the other way you can express gratitude and love, to your teen is also, if you're not comfortable saying in the words, then taking the time to write a letter.

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And writing it in a card and saying, Hey, I just want to let you know how much you mean to us and how proud we are of you.

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and you'll know your team better than anyone.

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So Maybe you'll know if they respond better to a verbal message or that written message.

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Or maybe it's just giving your teenager a big hug and they really respond to that so they feel loved.

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it's a scary world out there as we all know.

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And not only do we get scared, teenagers are scared right now.

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don't forget our teenagers, went through that whole pandemic as well and how they managed it in a lot of ways was completely different than how we managed it.

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Yeah.

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what are they scared of?

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All the uncertainty that's happening in the world, they have access now to so much through social media, and social media thrives on fear.

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I think the other thing that they get scared of maybe they're not enough.

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Maybe they're not good enough.

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And that is a big conversation, not only for teenagers teenagers are having that they're not good enough that, I'm not good enough.

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I don't fit in.

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I don't belong.

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And that's a conversation that doesn't stop when you get out of your teenage years.

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That's a conversation that parents have once again saying, I'm not a good enough parent, I'm not doing a good enough job, going back to beating yourself up again I think that's a big issue for teenagers.

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I think it's a Big issue for everyone, because if you're going to live an extraordinary life and we want our teens, we want our kids to live an extraordinary life and navigate their way to a life that they love.

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If they're going to do that, then they're going to have that self confidence, that inner drive and that inner compass, to find their way.

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Talk a little bit more about social media with that.

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Cause that's definitely a newer phenomenon.

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Probably the last 10, 15 years, right?

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That you and I didn't grow up with.

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Definitely not.

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I think that's where the communication comes into play.

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Sometimes parents, my experience in talking with parents has been I can't keep up with the technology.

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I can't track everything that they're doing.

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No, you really can't track everything that you're doing.

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And it's really, I don't think it's realistic to start putting, you can't really put blocks on your teenager's phone.

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Because if you think in our house, they're not allowed to go on certain social media channels, or they're not allowed on YouTube.

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If they're not doing it in your house, believe me, they're doing it at school, or at their friend's house.

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So they have access to it.

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So I think our responsibility as parents is to communicate to our teen the unbelievable, responsibility that they have with their social media.

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That what they text, post, comment, and share, is out there forever.

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That delete does not mean that it's gone.

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It's out there forever.

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And there's consequences to that.

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I'll give you a personal example.

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Our son, Ryan, when he was going through high school, we talked to him about how important it was to be aware of his social media, what he was posting, even what his handle was on, on, on his, On his, Tik TOK and all those different things and how, once it's out there, it's out there forever.

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And who you're connecting to and who you're following, all that's being watched.

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And so we reminded our son of that.

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And then we reminded our daughter of that.

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our son loves lacrosse.

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he wanted to play lacrosse in college.

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sure enough, junior year, we start going to different colleges that he's interested in meeting different coaches, and we finally get to the university where he wants to play lacrosse and the coach is interested in playing there.

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So we go in and we meet the coach, and it's an awesome meeting.

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the coach says, okay, Ryan, this looks like a great fit.

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I can see what you can do on the field.

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your grades look great.

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Your activities are outstanding with leadership development.

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But there's just one more thing that we'd like to look at before we offer you the invitation to come and play lacrosse for our team.

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We would just like to take a look at your social media.

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We understand that it's private, but we're making an investment in you.

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we just want to make sure that what we see here is also consistent with what's going on out in social media.

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I'm sure you can understand that.

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And because of those conversations that we had with our son, Ryan was able to look at the coach, say, Hey coach, no problem.

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Whatever you want to take a look at, just let me know.

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Happy to send it to you.

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And now he's going into his second year playing lacrosse at his university And he gets that now.

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It continues on because now he knows what he follows for social media in college is just as important.

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I was speaking at a conference of managers and a JetBlue manager came up to me at the end when we talked about the unbelievable responsibility we have with our social media.

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she explained to me how this woman came in, her dream job was to be a pilot for JetBlue and she had all the qualifications, went through all the tests, rockstar.

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the last thing they did is they went in and they looked at her social media.

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They looked at her, some of her LinkedIn profile, they looked at some other social media.

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And unfortunately they said we can't hire you because some things you posted and some people you're following aren't in line with the mission and vision of our company.

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she lost her dream job because of that.

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it's really powerful and scary.

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if it's that scary, you can't close the door on it and just hope it goes away.

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Cause it's not really, you need to really shine a light on it and be like, Hey, with great power comes great responsibility.

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I know it comes from Spider Man, but it's true.

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And I think we need to continue to give that message to our teens.

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And then we also have to model it.

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Because our teens are also watching.

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What are we scanning on our phones that they're paying attention?

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We're going through a social media channel.

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We're going through, or how often are we texting?

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How often are we posting?

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And are we really present with our team?

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We hear the story all the time.

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We see parents out to dinner with their teens and their teens are on the phone, for the entire dinner.

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And not only the teens on the phone for the entire dinner, but so the parents.

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So we really need to make some agreements within our families of, When do we use social media?

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When do we not use social media?

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And when you really get down to it, when do we use our phones and when do we not use our phones?

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We need to put our phones away in order to really connect.

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we often see, we make fun of the teenagers for that, but I see it all the time, and I've even been guilty of it, it's actually the adults more that are on their phones, it may or may not be social media, but we have other things on our mind, and we get on the phones, and there we are, not being fully present with our families Dinner.

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Yeah, absolutely louie.

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the other thing about that is I really think that one of the biggest things we want to give Our kids and teach our teens is to have that self confidence And one of the things that really hurts, an individual self confidence Is when they have that feeling of not feeling good enough about themselves.

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I'm having that conversation right now with my daughter Who's really not sure, she has big aspirations to go to some amazing colleges and the fine arts.

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And, there's that hesitancy of I just don't know if I'm good enough.

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And we've had some really great conversations about that because it's not conversation of I'm not good enough.

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It's something that we're all trying to navigate.

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And when we get onto our social media channels, they're so good about saying, if you don't buy this product, then you don't fit in.

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If you don't join this group, then you don't belong.

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If you don't wear this, if you don't drink this, if you don't take this, then you know what?

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You're not good enough.

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And so I think it's really important that we bring an awareness to that our teens are struggling with that conversation.

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Just as many adults are of that conversation of, I don't feel good enough.

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so the question is then how do we help our team?

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How do we help them feel better about themselves?

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How do we help them build their self confidence?

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And I think one of the big things we can talk to our teams about is that it's so easy for us to get caught up into that game of comparison.

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And we start comparing ourselves to others.

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and that happens at an early age.

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I think it starts to, speed up in our teenage years.

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continues through college and even through our life.

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if we're not aware of it, once we start comparing ourselves to others, it's such a natural instinct because it's one of the ways we developed as human beings That's how we survived.

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But now we compare ourselves to others, we start to lose our own value.

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We start to lose our voice.

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We start to lose, who we truly are.

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I think that's a real conversation to continue to have with our teens about, we've heard it before comparisons, the thief of joy and to really that, every, to really continue to remind our team that everybody is unique.

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And everybody has their own voice and that we can really admire somebody for their talents and we can really respect somebody for their gifts.

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What's that quote?

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you can admire someone's beauty and that doesn't take the beauty away from who you are.

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That's right.

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Something I found really alarming the other day, I had lunch with a friend who grew up in Nigeria and he went to a pretty elite school there, supposedly, and there were about 40 students in his class.

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And from very early on, from elementary school, they start ranking where everybody is.

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And letting them know So you could get, a really high test score in something.

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and they'll let you know what that score is, and it's great, and it might be equivalent of an A here.

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But then there's also about like, where you ranked against everybody else.

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And that always goes with you.

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I think that can be very destructive because it's always instilling.

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Okay.

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Hey, I got an a I'm happy with that Oh, but I came in 40th and i'm not happy about it I just think that can be so destructive and I would think that would also kill creativity because you're competing on that piece that you're graded on versus finding things of joy and such it's very important I think competition could be good but also help them understand how to find joy.

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Yeah, competition will always be there, and comparison will always be there.

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Comparison will never go away.

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And comparison actually can be a good thing.

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Because it keeps your ego in check So if you think you're the greatest, basketball player in the world, and you dominate in your town, you dominate in your state, you might even dominate for the whole, wherever you, the whole County that you live in, then you finally go to a big basketball camp And, what do they call it?

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The eighth, ACU or, a Nike basketball camp.

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And then it's put your ego in check and say, wow, I got a lot more work to do.

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It is, but it's when we start comparing ourselves to other, and we start to now beat ourselves up and say, wow, I'm not good enough.

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We might get compared to, I'm not a good enough basketball player.

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And then next thing, it spirals down to, good at school.

00:17:05.732 --> 00:17:11.363
I'm not good at anything And then that's when you really start to lose that self confidence.

00:17:11.823 --> 00:17:17.923
so the question that I often get, and I ask my guests and I talk with parents about how do we build our kids confidence?

00:17:17.923 --> 00:17:19.303
How do we help build our teens?

00:17:19.613 --> 00:17:23.163
In a sense, the word back in the seventies, eighties, it was self esteem.

00:17:24.438 --> 00:17:27.127
You will say we can't, we talked so much about self esteem.

00:17:27.127 --> 00:17:27.897
That's it's selfish.

00:17:27.897 --> 00:17:29.567
It's not self, it's not selfish at all.

00:17:29.567 --> 00:17:30.667
It's actually self caring.

00:17:31.147 --> 00:17:37.178
we can't truly help others until we feel good about who we are and what our values and beliefs are.

00:17:37.972 --> 00:17:40.823
it's such an important conversation to have, with our team.

00:17:40.853 --> 00:17:49.833
And I think one of the first things you can do to help them build their confidence is to remind them that it does start with their attitude and their mindset.

00:17:49.982 --> 00:17:54.192
we have to model that attitude, but also remind them that their attitude every day is a choice.

00:17:54.333 --> 00:18:01.232
when I work with teenagers, that's something that I continue to reinforce with them, that it starts with your attitude, with your mindset.

00:18:01.613 --> 00:18:04.653
And then the next question I oftentimes get is that's great.

00:18:04.653 --> 00:18:06.333
I tell my kids to be positive all the time.

00:18:06.333 --> 00:18:07.903
But how can they stay positive?

00:18:08.282 --> 00:18:17.526
And I think that's where you can really teach the lessons of who are they surrounding themselves with and really teach that, that lesson of the way you build your self confidence is really important.

00:18:17.526 --> 00:18:20.205
Being aware of also who are you surrounding yourself with?

00:18:20.226 --> 00:18:21.806
Who are the people that you're interacting with?

00:18:21.816 --> 00:18:22.826
Who's in your community?

00:18:23.145 --> 00:18:28.036
And that's a message that you need to continue to reinforce with your team, because then they get into their adult years.

00:18:28.036 --> 00:18:42.486
I believe that the company you keep as you get older, even as parents and the people you work with, those conversations in your network, when you have the choice to do so to hang out with those positive people, they'll support you, those who encourage you, is so important and you continue to build up your self confidence.

00:18:42.965 --> 00:18:43.935
Oh, a hundred percent.

00:18:44.036 --> 00:18:44.346
Yeah.

00:18:45.215 --> 00:18:49.596
What about, talk about with teenagers, it synonymous with moodiness.

00:18:50.096 --> 00:18:51.026
Yeah.

00:18:51.506 --> 00:18:52.276
Can we talk about that?

00:18:52.276 --> 00:18:55.526
I was a 16 year old girl and I experience a different mood every minute.

00:18:56.266 --> 00:18:58.615
Yeah, I, there are, there's so many emotions happening, right?

00:18:58.615 --> 00:19:03.346
Because there's this, there's so many biological changes going on.

00:19:03.486 --> 00:19:08.836
And then there's so many changes in their environment in terms of them trying to figure out where, what path are they going to take in life?

00:19:09.306 --> 00:19:13.705
And yeah, that can be really, the thing with the moods one of the things that I found is we know our team.

00:19:14.020 --> 00:19:25.580
When our son, comes home a long day, I know he's tired, so that's not the time to start asking him questions about his plans for the next week, you have to be aware, they're feeling frustrated or a little bit angry, you gotta give them that space.

00:19:25.580 --> 00:19:29.500
let them to be in that emotion, not what they come home and they're angry and say, it's okay.

00:19:29.500 --> 00:19:30.401
Don't be angry.

00:19:30.800 --> 00:19:31.790
Oh, don't be angry.

00:19:31.790 --> 00:19:32.820
Get up, get off of it.

00:19:33.221 --> 00:19:37.840
Let them be, let them have the emotion, let them experience the emotion for what they're feeling.

00:19:38.090 --> 00:19:40.790
It's trying to teach them, you can stay angry for a little while.

00:19:40.790 --> 00:19:41.550
That's okay.

00:19:41.671 --> 00:19:44.631
But you just can't, you just can't stay there for a long time.

00:19:45.780 --> 00:19:46.101
Yeah.

00:19:46.601 --> 00:19:47.161
That's a good one.

00:19:47.161 --> 00:19:49.861
I need to, yeah, to give him that space.

00:19:49.871 --> 00:19:51.891
And then, I think that also leads into Louie too.

00:19:51.941 --> 00:19:57.181
If, if we noticed that our teen is moody and we noticed that, and I think that those are signs as well.

00:19:57.240 --> 00:19:59.820
as parents, we need to pay attention to those moods.

00:19:59.881 --> 00:20:16.211
And if we noticed that all of a sudden our teenager has been, in a great, in a real positive, in a positive mood, things are going really well, then all of a sudden they start to get really quiet, over an extended period of time or you seem to, they seem to be a little bit angry, more than they have been before, or being more disrespectful.

00:20:16.411 --> 00:20:19.740
Then that's a time to step back and say, okay, now I need to understand.

00:20:20.010 --> 00:20:30.290
I need to understand why are you feeling the way that you're feeling when you have that time in the car, that 15 minutes on the way to school is so precious because you have their attention.

00:20:30.621 --> 00:20:31.631
you shouldn't be on your phone.

00:20:31.631 --> 00:20:36.030
if you're driving, turn the music down and ask questions like, Hey, what does the day look like today?

00:20:36.310 --> 00:20:37.971
really engage in that conversation.

00:20:38.101 --> 00:20:39.621
What if my teen doesn't want to talk to me?

00:20:39.730 --> 00:20:41.111
You're in the car for 15 minutes.

00:20:41.111 --> 00:20:46.290
You can ask your team, you can create a conversation with them and it doesn't have to be so serious where do you want to go to college?

00:20:46.290 --> 00:20:48.391
Or tell me your three goals for this week.

00:20:48.570 --> 00:20:51.151
It could just be like, Hey, what are you excited about today?

00:20:51.215 --> 00:20:52.645
what are you looking forward to today?

00:20:52.826 --> 00:20:55.185
I noticed that you were working really hard on that project.

00:20:55.185 --> 00:20:56.826
last night, how's that going?

00:20:57.425 --> 00:20:59.796
if they know you're truly listening, they'll share.

00:21:00.266 --> 00:21:08.046
But if you ask these questions, you better make sure you're listening because teenagers know if you're present or not when you ask, Hey honey, how was your day today?

00:21:08.520 --> 00:21:12.570
And they start talking and they know you're still on your phone, scanning it, and doing both.

00:21:13.131 --> 00:21:13.780
they check out.

00:21:14.641 --> 00:21:17.911
they have a lot more awareness than we recognize.

00:21:17.961 --> 00:21:23.661
somewhere in the mid to later teen years we start to realize just how aware and intelligent our kids are.

00:21:23.855 --> 00:21:32.326
they're no longer cute little kids that, we enjoy And it blows my mind every day there's a signal they're sending that reminds me of that.

00:21:32.846 --> 00:21:34.056
Yeah, absolutely.

00:21:34.405 --> 00:21:42.506
one of the other big issues that comes up a lot is not only helping our team build their self confidence, but also like we want, we want our kids to be respectful.

00:21:42.865 --> 00:21:47.246
To be respectful and to be responsible and compassionate human beings.

00:21:47.655 --> 00:21:52.986
one of the questions that's often asked is, how do I teach my team that respect for themselves and for others?

00:21:53.365 --> 00:22:00.205
I think one of the first things we can do to teach that respect, and it sounds obvious but we've sometimes forget it is.

00:22:00.336 --> 00:22:01.266
We have to model it.

00:22:01.286 --> 00:22:02.826
We have to lead by example.

00:22:03.046 --> 00:22:04.076
that doesn't mean we're perfect.

00:22:04.076 --> 00:22:10.786
we can admit when we make those mistakes, but they are watching and they are listening, what we're doing and what we're saying.

00:22:10.996 --> 00:22:20.256
And, and it's important because when you're in the kitchen talking about the neighbors or in the car ripping somebody apart at work, you think your teenager is not listening because they have their buds on in the backseat.

00:22:20.536 --> 00:22:22.586
I'm telling you, the music has been turned down.

00:22:22.586 --> 00:22:27.986
They're listening to what's happening up front because it's a lot more interesting and a lot more in some cases entertaining.

00:22:28.496 --> 00:22:34.895
And so sometimes when I'm working with teenagers, I hear some of the language that they use and it's not the language of a teenager.

00:22:35.066 --> 00:22:37.405
I'm hearing the language of an adult.

00:22:38.530 --> 00:22:44.201
How an adult might see the world or how an adult might comment about a particular subject.

00:22:44.550 --> 00:22:47.010
And so it's really important that we lead by example.

00:22:47.020 --> 00:22:49.201
We're going to teach that respect and that compassion.

00:22:49.740 --> 00:22:56.050
I think the other thing we can do to help teach that respect and that compassion with our teams, we need to share our stories.

00:22:56.401 --> 00:23:06.925
when were the times when you were struggling, when you made that mistake and when you broke up with your partner felt like you were all alone, we need to share our stories A parent asked me once, what stories do we share and what stories don't we share?

00:23:06.925 --> 00:23:10.185
I don't want them, I don't want to, I don't want it to be such that open book.

00:23:10.195 --> 00:23:12.066
And my answer to that is, I don't know.

00:23:12.576 --> 00:23:13.346
I don't know.

00:23:13.365 --> 00:23:13.905
I don't know.

00:23:13.905 --> 00:23:15.905
But, but you're the parent.

00:23:16.185 --> 00:23:17.826
You know will resonate with your team.

00:23:17.865 --> 00:23:33.246
I think you can bounce off what you're going to share With your team maybe about a lesson that you experienced or something you went through in your life Share it with a close friend go to lunch with your friend and say hey I'm thinking about talking to my daughter about this experience I had in high school or college Is this coming across right?

00:23:33.256 --> 00:23:34.935
Am I making the point that I want to make?

00:23:35.425 --> 00:23:42.826
So that way when you tell the story with the lesson behind it, you know that it's clear and specific Yeah, that's a good one.

00:23:43.286 --> 00:23:44.905
I think we do a good job of that.

00:23:44.905 --> 00:23:49.316
We share a lot of who we are, just everything.

00:23:49.705 --> 00:23:51.625
We're an open book to our kids.

00:23:51.675 --> 00:23:51.996
Sure.

00:23:52.046 --> 00:23:54.965
And because of that, it allows for a really great relationship, right?

00:23:55.006 --> 00:24:00.826
Like in a communications way, I like to believe that our kids aren't hiding anything from us and vice versa.

00:24:01.215 --> 00:24:16.645
and that's important because, we all make mistakes as teenagers I think when you hide everything, I know families that, are in second, third generations now of hiding these family secrets and you can just see that there's something in that family that just doesn't, There's not a bond there.

00:24:16.645 --> 00:24:19.296
There's some kind of wall and you wonder what it is.

00:24:19.576 --> 00:24:23.266
And it could be that secret that wasn't, those quote unquote family secrets.

00:24:23.266 --> 00:24:28.546
I think that goes back to also where, as parents, we also have to keep continuing to do the work.

00:24:28.816 --> 00:24:33.905
And what I mean by that is, we need to go back and say, what are our values and our beliefs?

00:24:34.006 --> 00:24:40.665
and not only what are our values and our beliefs, but also what are our limiting beliefs and some of the limiting beliefs that we're still carrying.

00:24:40.996 --> 00:24:47.316
If we're not aware of those limiting beliefs, if you're a parent and you don't feel good enough, if you're a parent where you feel, you're not worthy.

00:24:47.316 --> 00:24:52.556
If you're a parent where you feel like maybe you don't belong or that something's missing or that something's wrong.

00:24:52.915 --> 00:24:56.645
If you're not aware of that, if you don't do the work yourself as a parent, then.

00:24:57.226 --> 00:24:59.336
You'll transfer that over to your team.

00:24:59.516 --> 00:25:00.016
You will.

00:25:00.256 --> 00:25:03.256
And that statement of saying I'll never do what my dad did.

00:25:03.256 --> 00:25:04.875
I'll never do what my mom did.

00:25:05.185 --> 00:25:12.776
unless you do the work to get complete and really get whole on those past experiences, you'll transfer that over to your team.

00:25:13.246 --> 00:25:25.425
that's why it's so important for parents to continue to do their own personal work Instead of transferring that, they can transform a whole new conversation with their team where they won't have those limiting beliefs you had when you were a teenager.

00:25:25.965 --> 00:25:26.326
Yeah.

00:25:26.635 --> 00:25:29.566
and it teaches them that, we're always in growth, right?

00:25:29.806 --> 00:25:31.425
we will never have all the solutions.

00:25:31.425 --> 00:25:34.625
we're going to continue to learn and grow all of our lives.

00:25:34.675 --> 00:25:39.346
And we recognize, hey we, we may have been in the wrong and, let's figure out how to fix that.

00:25:39.816 --> 00:25:40.226
Absolutely.

00:25:40.226 --> 00:25:41.986
And I think that's why it's one of the things too.

00:25:42.046 --> 00:25:48.096
It's it's a great there was always a kind of stigma around, people that would go to therapy or counseling talk to a counselor.

00:25:48.445 --> 00:25:53.846
And now you see the demand for counseling and for therapists is off the charts, especially among.

00:25:54.155 --> 00:25:54.796
teenagers.

00:25:55.016 --> 00:26:02.625
there's not that big stigma anymore because kids are being taught that, it's okay to ask for help, even if you don't know what that help is.

00:26:03.145 --> 00:26:07.605
And sometimes though in my conversations with parents is that they share well.

00:26:07.990 --> 00:26:16.730
I don't want, I don't want my child to go to counseling or therapy or to go get any outside help because I don't want anybody to know our business.

00:26:17.101 --> 00:26:21.040
I don't want anybody to think that maybe I'm not a good parent or I'm a bad parent.

00:26:21.451 --> 00:26:23.861
And my message that is.

00:26:24.006 --> 00:26:49.846
The most courageous thing you can do, I think, as a parent, is to give your child the access, if they need it, if they want it, to go and get therapy, to go get counseling, to work through some emotional issues they experienced when they were younger, that you maybe weren't even aware of, whether it was at school, whether it was on a Camping trip, who knows whether it was a conversation they had with a couple of players on their sports team.

00:26:50.155 --> 00:26:52.766
We don't know those moments that maybe impacted them.

00:26:52.766 --> 00:26:57.955
Just like nobody knows all those different moments that impacted your life what you experienced.

00:26:58.195 --> 00:26:58.955
I think important.

00:26:58.955 --> 00:27:01.871
I know for me, about 10 years ago, I started to see a hypnotherapist.

00:27:02.510 --> 00:27:17.381
Once a month and it was really powerful it helped with my parenting It helped my communication skills and it helped me also get complete with some with different things in the past So that wasn't going to transfer Some of the emotions that maybe I weren't I wasn't complete with to my teenager.

00:27:17.851 --> 00:27:21.125
I'm now like I can be more like hey They know that.

00:27:21.175 --> 00:27:22.476
my teenagers know, you know what?

00:27:22.586 --> 00:27:27.246
If you're going through a challenging time in your life where you're trying to work some stuff out, it's okay to ask for help.

00:27:27.326 --> 00:27:28.826
It's okay to go to for counseling.

00:27:29.125 --> 00:27:34.705
And now I can look at my kids and they know geez, dad, you say that, but you would never go, Oh no, I go, I've been there.

00:27:34.756 --> 00:27:40.405
I think it's important to encourage our teens to not only be aware of who they surround themselves with, but also what they surround themselves with.

00:27:40.665 --> 00:27:42.046
we have a consistent message.

00:27:42.217 --> 00:27:46.375
Of reminding our teenagers to be aware of your environment.

00:27:46.635 --> 00:27:47.705
What are you watching?

00:27:47.746 --> 00:27:48.885
What are you listening to?

00:27:49.105 --> 00:27:49.935
being aware of your environment.

00:27:49.945 --> 00:27:52.195
even that simple thing of keeping a house clean.

00:27:52.205 --> 00:28:10.746
It doesn't mean that it has to be, perfect like a hotel, but having things in order there's so much uncertainty in those teenage years that sometimes when they come back, when they come back from school to just to know that things are a certain way and there's It's not messy and it's not upside down that it gives them that, that sense of space.

00:28:10.905 --> 00:28:13.776
and that sense of feeling that, everything is okay and consistent here.

00:28:13.915 --> 00:28:14.895
Does that make sense, Louie?

00:28:15.425 --> 00:28:15.855
It does.

00:28:15.855 --> 00:28:17.026
It makes a whole lot of sense.

00:28:17.086 --> 00:28:23.256
I'm wondering, going back a little bit to the therapist piece though, I got held up there.

00:28:23.256 --> 00:28:26.385
there's a lot of talk about mental health now with teenagers, right?

00:28:26.486 --> 00:28:29.226
more so than I think there was, during our time.

00:28:29.276 --> 00:28:30.736
for example, even anxiety.

00:28:31.155 --> 00:28:32.945
I think a lot of us had anxiety.

00:28:33.290 --> 00:28:36.230
As kids and we didn't recognize it wasn't diagnosed.

00:28:36.230 --> 00:28:40.971
It was just like, we felt stressed or whatever as kids and we'd learn how to deal with it and move on.

00:28:41.020 --> 00:28:46.730
But now it's almost to a point where it's almost like a mental health diagnosis and you should see a therapist for a while.

00:28:46.730 --> 00:28:53.711
And I think that's a good thing, I'm wondering, do you see that there's more, different, topics that could be considered mental health?

00:28:53.761 --> 00:28:59.852
today with teenagers and how they're, acceptable to have them and talk about them and deal with them then during our generation.

00:29:00.261 --> 00:29:00.682
Absolutely.

00:29:00.682 --> 00:29:05.991
And, in our generation, many people feel like I had anxiety and all these emotional issues too.

00:29:05.991 --> 00:29:08.061
And I never went to get any therapy or help.

00:29:08.082 --> 00:29:09.801
I just had to figure it out myself.

00:29:10.142 --> 00:29:10.842
Good for you.

00:29:11.126 --> 00:29:14.267
But a lot of people think they had it figured out, but you never did figure it out.

00:29:14.297 --> 00:29:14.636
That's right.

00:29:14.636 --> 00:29:29.156
And now, so you just creating the same, you actually creating the same pattern for your teen with that same anxiety and stress that you think that you maybe you, that you handled, but you don't, you're actually transferring your stress and your anxiety so yeah, I don't think it's a fix for everyone.

00:29:29.156 --> 00:29:36.916
I think if a student is having a tough week or even a tough month, or maybe they're feeling a little bit sad for a week or they're feeling a little bit depressed.

00:29:37.277 --> 00:29:39.557
I don't think that all of a sudden it's like, Hey, that's it.

00:29:39.576 --> 00:29:40.817
You gotta go see a counselor.

00:29:41.432 --> 00:29:45.501
you talk to the teachers, you talk to the coaches and you watch their behavior.

00:29:45.781 --> 00:29:52.692
And if you notice that something doesn't seem normal or seems a little bit out of character for your team, then yeah, I think that's one of the options you can do.

00:29:53.362 --> 00:29:59.902
What are some of the other generational differences that you notice with teenagers today versus when we were growing up?

00:30:01.507 --> 00:30:13.757
I think one of the big differences is that right now We are in a world of instant gratification and Get to have things quicker and faster than we ever had before just look at you order something now It's either that day or the next day.

00:30:13.967 --> 00:30:22.027
so it's that idea of okay everything is quick and fast instant gratification and sometimes what happens is this generation forgets that you know what?

00:30:22.326 --> 00:30:44.102
It's not just about You It's not an over there's no there really is no such thing as an overnight success certain social media channels and just the way the world is tries to betray that certain things happen overnight And so it but it takes hard work sometimes, this generation thinks that I want it now, and because I want it right now, I deserve it right now, and I'm entitled to it.

00:30:44.662 --> 00:30:49.172
that's a big difference between, this generation and past generations.

00:30:49.251 --> 00:30:53.071
with everything that happened with COVID, teenagers now are a little more hesitant.

00:30:53.142 --> 00:30:54.711
not as confident about where they're going next.

00:30:59.922 --> 00:31:00.902
Does that make sense, Louis?

00:31:01.362 --> 00:31:01.872
No.

00:31:02.362 --> 00:31:03.622
Can you elaborate on that a little more?

00:31:03.781 --> 00:31:06.882
Yeah, can you say a little bit more about those differences?

00:31:07.321 --> 00:31:07.582
Sure.

00:31:07.632 --> 00:31:20.291
one of the differences in this generation and past generations beyond just the instant gratification is also what the teens experienced through COVID and going through that whole COVID experience.

00:31:20.346 --> 00:31:34.220
I'm talking with so many teachers and also other parents, teens now are a lot more hesitant to make a firm commitment sometimes For example, there are a lot of students right now are not going right from high school to college.

00:31:34.410 --> 00:31:37.440
There are many students that are now taking time to do a gap year.

00:31:37.865 --> 00:31:55.750
Or they're taking, they're taking a year to just to go do a job, they're taking a year to explore because it's taking a little bit more time for them to find their way than it has in the past generations because of what they experienced with COVID being not in the network of conversations, not seeing people face to face that had an impact.

00:31:56.579 --> 00:31:58.200
On this generation, without a doubt.

00:31:58.210 --> 00:32:03.069
And I think we're going to still continue to see impacts that we don't even know as we go into the future as well.

00:32:03.609 --> 00:32:05.130
Yeah, I totally agree with that.

00:32:05.130 --> 00:32:06.880
We're going through that with our oldest child.

00:32:06.890 --> 00:32:18.319
She coming out of COVID once they got reintroduced to the traditional way of going back to school and everything, she was incredibly overwhelmed and she preferred to go back online, and so she did.

00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:24.150
We let her in and she started thriving taking extra classes and ended up finishing a year early.

00:32:24.819 --> 00:32:36.644
she took time off before deciding what to do for college and we've been fine with that too And now she's finally decided and she's going to start college but a very non traditional path I think they really needed that time to figure it out.

00:32:37.065 --> 00:32:40.055
I'll argue with you, Ed, that I don't think it was just COVID.

00:32:40.345 --> 00:32:43.825
in our household, One of the big stressors was student debt.

00:32:44.174 --> 00:32:49.845
we had massive student loans that we came out with, and we were working on for years, and we finally got rid of them.

00:32:50.144 --> 00:32:54.315
But, our kids knew, Experience that stress in us to get rid of that.

00:32:54.335 --> 00:33:05.025
So I think they really are more about making sure they're making the right choice with college because they don't want to make the same mistake we did and have crazy student debt.

00:33:05.605 --> 00:33:06.654
I could be wrong.

00:33:06.674 --> 00:33:07.595
That's just my own theory.

00:33:07.795 --> 00:33:09.575
I think that's definitely a factor as well.

00:33:09.815 --> 00:33:20.575
And that could be a whole podcast in itself is that high cost of college is these Days, I think it's also important for parents to remember that, college isn't a fit for every teenager.

00:33:20.625 --> 00:33:31.565
there are a lot of different avenues for students, whether it's, going to a trade school and to really become a master at a trade or, different other learning experiences than the traditional four year track.

00:33:31.954 --> 00:33:38.115
And I think sometimes as parents, we get locked in and say, Nope, my child's going four years of college and that's it.

00:33:38.454 --> 00:33:42.904
And we're forcing our expectations on them when that might not be the best fit for them.

00:33:43.335 --> 00:33:43.775
That's right.

00:33:44.045 --> 00:33:49.535
we try to get them to figure out what they want to do and support them 100 percent with that what's going to bring them joy.

00:33:49.765 --> 00:33:52.664
So our daughter, for her gap year, she pursued beauty school.

00:33:53.085 --> 00:33:55.234
And we're like, okay, Let's find the best beauty school we can.

00:33:55.234 --> 00:33:57.904
halfway through she realized, okay, this is not the right fit for me.

00:33:58.394 --> 00:34:01.934
And she decided on her own that she wants to go to college and she started figuring it out.

00:34:01.984 --> 00:34:02.984
And it's pretty neat.

00:34:03.420 --> 00:34:17.849
that's a great example right there, Louis, one of the things we can do as parents to help our teen navigate their way to living a life they love is to really encourage them that when they express an interest in something that we give them an opportunity to like really feed that fire.

00:34:17.949 --> 00:34:21.900
in your case, your daughter was interested in beauty school and you and your wife like, yes, let's go.

00:34:21.940 --> 00:34:22.380
Okay.

00:34:22.380 --> 00:34:25.510
What are the, what's the best beauty school and give them the opportunity to explore that.

00:34:25.860 --> 00:34:28.480
I think we can encourage, I think it's important to encourage our teens.

00:34:29.380 --> 00:34:30.340
He doesn't know where they want to go.

00:34:30.340 --> 00:34:32.119
And what if they don't have any direction in their life?

00:34:32.170 --> 00:34:33.210
It's actually okay.

00:34:33.579 --> 00:34:43.000
our teenagers don't have to have it all figured out, all planned out, the average college student changes their major once oftentimes your parents say, I just want my kid to find a passion.

00:34:43.320 --> 00:34:45.090
I don't think it is passion first, Louie.

00:34:45.139 --> 00:34:46.619
it's curiosity first.

00:34:47.019 --> 00:34:54.960
I think our great message that we need to share with our teens is to be curious to encourage them to step outside of their comfort zone, We want our kids to be safe.

00:34:55.340 --> 00:35:00.840
Sometimes we almost want to put them in a box, say, okay, this is what you do if you go to this four years of college and you have this job.

00:35:01.090 --> 00:35:01.989
they'll be safe.

00:35:02.199 --> 00:35:03.139
Then they'll be okay.

00:35:03.250 --> 00:35:04.570
Then everything will be all right.

00:35:04.849 --> 00:35:12.260
in a lot of ways, that's a direction that can really set up your child for failure because they're not exploring.

00:35:12.269 --> 00:35:19.614
They're just, going down a path that they're told to take instead of saying, what's the path that's going to What am I curious about?

00:35:19.925 --> 00:35:26.175
we're really encouraged that message for them because it's through curiosity that they can then start to think, learn about the things that they're interested in.

00:35:26.905 --> 00:35:36.565
I'll give you a great example I speak at a lot of colleges and universities and at one university I was speaking at, And it's been speaking at this university for over 20 years.

00:35:36.855 --> 00:35:45.684
at one of the orientations there, a senior orientation leader walked up to me goes, Hey, I, he goes, I remember you, he goes, you spoke at my orientation when I was a freshman here.

00:35:45.824 --> 00:35:46.525
I said, Really?

00:35:46.855 --> 00:35:51.625
He goes, yeah, you actually brought me up on stage and asked me what one of my big dreams was and I said, wow, that's so cool.

00:35:51.625 --> 00:35:51.974
You remember that?

00:35:51.974 --> 00:35:54.175
I go, what was your big goal that you share with the whole group?

00:35:54.545 --> 00:36:00.724
He said, I will be an Oscar award winning director by the age of 35 here in New York City.

00:36:00.965 --> 00:36:02.375
And I was like, wow, that's awesome.

00:36:02.375 --> 00:36:03.644
I can't believe you still remember that.

00:36:03.735 --> 00:36:05.014
and here he was a senior in college.

00:36:05.014 --> 00:36:06.375
Are you still studying film here?

00:36:07.085 --> 00:36:11.789
And he looked right at me and he went, no, I started out in college.

00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:19.210
I started out with film but the more I explored film the more curious, I became about music he realized that's what he wanted to do with his life.

00:36:19.210 --> 00:36:20.469
He wanted to build it around music.

00:36:20.469 --> 00:36:21.050
I said, that's great.

00:36:21.050 --> 00:36:22.329
I said, so what's your new goal now?

00:36:22.460 --> 00:36:29.980
He goes, now he goes, I will have my own music production company here in New York city by the age of 30, representing the top hip artists in the world.

00:36:30.139 --> 00:36:31.460
I was like, wow, good for you.

00:36:31.460 --> 00:36:33.309
so what are you doing right now to get closer to that goal?

00:36:33.800 --> 00:36:34.519
And he looked right at me.

00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:38.059
He says right now I have an internship with Sony and their international marketing department.

00:36:38.699 --> 00:36:45.215
I think that's such a great example because one of the lessons we can teach our teens is that success is not linear.

00:36:45.635 --> 00:36:48.244
We fall and we slip and we make mistakes.

00:36:48.514 --> 00:36:53.264
We've talked so much today about resilience and perseverance, and we want our kids to be resilient.

00:36:53.264 --> 00:36:54.795
We want our kids to be able to persevere.

00:36:54.795 --> 00:36:56.465
resilience doesn't come from the wins.

00:36:56.465 --> 00:37:07.324
It doesn't come from The easy the resilience comes when we get faced with setbacks and we turn into a great comeback or when we get faced with an unbelievable obstacle in our life, and we turn it into a great opportunity.

00:37:07.655 --> 00:37:09.864
And what a great message to share with our teens.

00:37:11.385 --> 00:37:11.675
Wow.

00:37:11.675 --> 00:37:12.184
I love that.

00:37:12.364 --> 00:37:12.985
That's powerful.

00:37:13.534 --> 00:37:17.295
Ed, we're at that point where we go over our world famous Wayfinder 4.

00:37:17.295 --> 00:37:19.164
I can't believe how quickly this time passed.

00:37:19.175 --> 00:37:20.775
We definitely got to get you back on, man.

00:37:21.014 --> 00:37:21.565
That sounds great.

00:37:21.565 --> 00:37:22.784
I really enjoyed this, Louis.

00:37:22.784 --> 00:37:23.644
Thank you so much.

00:37:23.704 --> 00:37:24.425
Yeah, likewise.

00:37:24.425 --> 00:37:25.025
Thank you.

00:37:25.394 --> 00:37:30.889
Ed, can you give us a hack, something you use every day to just make your life easier?

00:37:31.699 --> 00:37:36.289
I can't, I'm going to give you a couple of hacks because I think that's such a great question.

00:37:36.289 --> 00:37:38.039
I love the way finder for questions.

00:37:38.860 --> 00:37:42.760
and so I took some time to think about this cause I listened to some of the other podcasts that you had.

00:37:42.809 --> 00:37:49.090
I think, one of the hacks that I do every day, and I've been doing this now for a couple of years is every morning I have a half a lemon.

00:37:49.170 --> 00:37:53.320
I take a half a lemon, squeeze it into a glass, fill it up halfway with water.

00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:55.000
that's the first thing I have in the morning.

00:37:55.429 --> 00:37:56.849
it helps alkalize my body.

00:37:57.019 --> 00:38:00.519
you can read all about the benefits but I feel like it's really made a big difference for me.

00:38:00.780 --> 00:38:08.059
I'm starting each morning off with a half a lemon, squeezing it into a glass of water and then drinking that to start my day.

00:38:08.380 --> 00:38:12.960
another great life hack that I, it's an app that I love called insight timer.

00:38:13.369 --> 00:38:13.599
It's great.

00:38:13.900 --> 00:38:19.730
Insight timer has a lot of, guided meditations to help you sleep, to help you get more calm.

00:38:21.239 --> 00:38:26.809
And that's, we didn't get into that today at all, but, and maybe at another time we could talk about just the power of meditation and how important it is.

00:38:27.250 --> 00:38:35.519
so I love that app insight timer, another hack that, that I learned, and I learned this through a program called strategic coach and that's called positive.

00:38:37.039 --> 00:38:37.820
The focus.

00:38:38.110 --> 00:38:43.260
And so positive focus is just something where, you celebrate the positive things that happened to you for that week.

00:38:43.610 --> 00:38:56.139
And that's something that I've been doing my wife and I do this consistently can be doing this now probably for over 10 years, each week I'll write down the 10 positive things that happened to me personal and professional And then my wife will do the same thing.

00:38:56.159 --> 00:39:02.420
And then when we start our week on a Monday morning, we'll both sit down and share our positive focus from the week before.

00:39:02.900 --> 00:39:10.550
it validates, how much we accomplished, all the amazing things we had, with our kids And so that gives you that momentum to keep moving forward.

00:39:10.690 --> 00:39:12.550
those are a few hacks that I definitely use.

00:39:13.039 --> 00:39:13.570
I love that.

00:39:13.570 --> 00:39:21.380
And if I'm not mistaken, the founder of positive focus, I'm drawing a blank in his name, but he also wrote a book, called the gap in the game.

00:39:21.695 --> 00:39:21.994
Yes.

00:39:22.025 --> 00:39:22.724
Dan Sullivan.

00:39:22.735 --> 00:39:23.434
Dan Sullivan.

00:39:23.434 --> 00:39:24.025
That's who it is.

00:39:24.025 --> 00:39:24.394
Yes.

00:39:24.474 --> 00:39:29.414
and he talks a lot about how we beat ourselves up thinking about what we got to do, what we got to do, I haven't done enough.

00:39:29.414 --> 00:39:41.545
if we actually just take a step back and look backwards a week, a month, a year, what we've accomplished it's just mind blowing and help us get out of that gap mindset and get us into the game mindset.

00:39:41.594 --> 00:39:42.125
Absolutely.

00:39:42.335 --> 00:39:47.125
and I think that's another great strategy to get out of the gap Sometimes thinking that we're not enough or we beat ourselves up.

00:39:47.625 --> 00:39:49.364
Even at the idea of I'm not a good parent.

00:39:49.375 --> 00:39:49.824
Wait a minute.

00:39:49.954 --> 00:39:52.954
How about you make a list of the 10 great things you did this week as a parent?

00:39:53.295 --> 00:39:55.295
What were the great things you did this week as a parent?

00:39:55.324 --> 00:39:56.405
That creates momentum.

00:39:56.804 --> 00:40:00.155
That's the one thing I learned from Dan Sullivan too, It's all about progress, not perfection.

00:40:00.164 --> 00:40:01.155
Cause nobody's perfect.

00:40:01.525 --> 00:40:03.465
So it's just about making progress and moving forward.

00:40:04.074 --> 00:40:04.465
Yeah.

00:40:04.644 --> 00:40:05.054
Love that.

00:40:05.695 --> 00:40:05.965
All right.

00:40:05.974 --> 00:40:06.844
How about a favorite?

00:40:08.494 --> 00:40:09.284
A favorite?

00:40:09.335 --> 00:40:12.574
Music, book, movie, show, activity.

00:40:12.574 --> 00:40:15.545
I just went to an awesome concert, the other night with my son.

00:40:15.545 --> 00:40:18.045
We went to go see Zach Bryan, just an awesome show.

00:40:18.054 --> 00:40:19.945
60, 000 people sold out.

00:40:20.114 --> 00:40:20.585
Wow.

00:40:20.715 --> 00:40:21.715
so love that.

00:40:21.724 --> 00:40:24.744
another great experience to have with your family is to go to a concert.

00:40:25.014 --> 00:40:25.175
Absolutely.

00:40:25.190 --> 00:40:27.800
Just experience the energy and all that.

00:40:27.849 --> 00:40:31.619
that memory now I have with my son is something that I'll have for my entire life.

00:40:31.619 --> 00:40:34.690
And hopefully that he'll remember for his entire life as well.

00:40:34.969 --> 00:40:35.530
I love that.

00:40:35.920 --> 00:40:44.599
Another favorite, I'll tell you, I'm really a big fan of a book that I read recently called Breath by James Nestor.

00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:46.550
it's all about the power of breath.

00:40:46.630 --> 00:40:54.480
And How that really is a huge factor in our health and wellness.

00:40:54.730 --> 00:40:57.030
James Nestor Breath, just an awesome book.

00:40:57.260 --> 00:40:59.670
I'm also a big fan of the work.

00:41:00.099 --> 00:41:04.440
One of my favorites is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza.

00:41:04.710 --> 00:41:06.280
Joe Dispenza is just a phenomenal book.

00:41:06.280 --> 00:41:08.510
And then he has another book called You Are the Placebo.

00:41:09.099 --> 00:41:10.159
That's one of my favorites.

00:41:10.230 --> 00:41:11.559
Oh, I haven't read that one.

00:41:13.239 --> 00:41:14.860
You know about the concert?

00:41:15.460 --> 00:41:15.760
Yeah.

00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:16.260
Go to Spencer.

00:41:16.260 --> 00:41:17.659
All his work is amazing, by the way.

00:41:17.659 --> 00:41:18.559
Yeah, it really is.

00:41:18.905 --> 00:41:21.065
about the concert thing, I gotta share this with you.

00:41:21.425 --> 00:41:21.994
funny story.

00:41:21.994 --> 00:41:34.090
So my now 18-year-old daughter, soon to be 19, for her 16th birthday, I took her to a Wu-Tang Clan concert And we joke in our household that it's our first time getting high.

00:41:34.099 --> 00:41:37.110
Who knows if it really is or not, but it was everybody there.

00:41:37.110 --> 00:41:39.110
it was actually an unbelievable experience.

00:41:39.139 --> 00:41:40.000
It was so good.

00:41:40.130 --> 00:41:45.139
Such an inspirational concert too, by the way, like they, it's about their story at the end.

00:41:45.139 --> 00:41:49.980
And it just really inspired people to just do better and dream big.

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:50.929
it was really powerful.

00:41:50.929 --> 00:41:53.579
And to this day, it's a good story in our household.

00:41:53.989 --> 00:41:55.010
But yeah, I love that.

00:41:55.050 --> 00:41:55.650
I love that.

00:41:56.380 --> 00:41:56.980
I relate to you.

00:41:56.980 --> 00:42:01.119
Zach brian concert experience What about a piece of advice for your younger self?

00:42:01.170 --> 00:42:25.130
This show was almost all that but Yeah, a piece of advice for my if I could go back and talk to my younger self I think I would go back and tell my younger self that not that everything's going to be okay, but rather everything is okay right now and to just trust and to really have that trust in yourself and, to just listen to your heart and know that everything is okay.

00:42:26.710 --> 00:42:27.110
Beautiful.

00:42:28.139 --> 00:42:32.010
What about a big opportunity that you see out there, or that you're working on?

00:42:33.730 --> 00:42:43.530
I think there's a huge opportunity to, help teens and adults to really learn how to be in the present moment, how to be right here right now.

00:42:43.789 --> 00:42:46.869
I think in a fast paced technological driven world.

00:42:46.889 --> 00:42:51.969
I think there's just, it's so easy for us to get pulled into the past or pushed into the future.

00:42:52.349 --> 00:42:55.920
something that I try to work on every day is how do we stay in the present moment?

00:42:56.210 --> 00:43:04.039
I think there's a huge opportunity for everyone to really live and create an extraordinary life that they can really master the art of being in the present moment.

00:43:04.280 --> 00:43:09.230
Because when you're in the present moment, you can start to really get present to what you're grateful for in your life.

00:43:09.329 --> 00:43:13.489
And if you can start to live your life with gratitude, which really exists in the present moment.

00:43:13.489 --> 00:43:24.719
that can be really exciting and can make a difference, not only for people and our communities, but being in the present moment and living with gratitude and knowing that we're all connected, is something that could, make the world a better place.

00:43:25.230 --> 00:43:26.780
It's more important than ever now, right?

00:43:27.210 --> 00:43:32.010
What about, finding if people want to know more about you, what should you got a lot out there.

00:43:32.340 --> 00:43:33.340
Where should we send them to?

00:43:33.789 --> 00:43:42.110
Sure, you can go right to my website, has access to all of the information about my speaking programs, my podcast, and my new book, Shine Your Light.

00:43:42.329 --> 00:43:43.909
So that's edgerety.

00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:44.309
com.

00:43:44.340 --> 00:43:47.389
E D G E R E T Y, edgerety.

00:43:47.420 --> 00:43:47.730
com.

00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:51.980
And if anybody has any questions from this podcast, you can email me through that website as well.

00:43:52.909 --> 00:43:53.320
Excellent.

00:43:53.750 --> 00:43:55.059
Ed, thank you so much.

00:43:55.099 --> 00:44:06.429
you shared a whole lot of wisdom with our folks, and I think we all, left with a lot more knowledge and a lot to think about and a lot more, that we can start practicing in our own households and with our teenagers.

00:44:06.539 --> 00:44:17.269
so I'm really grateful, and I hope to have you back on, maybe we can talk about your book more or some of the other topics you talk about, because, I think We're a little bit, symbiotic in what we do.

00:44:17.269 --> 00:44:27.780
So I really appreciate it I appreciate the opportunity and what you do because I think we need, I think a podcast like what you have and helping people, really create a life they love and, is just so important.

00:44:27.780 --> 00:44:29.269
So I acknowledge you for that.

00:44:29.840 --> 00:44:30.159
Thank you.

00:44:34.929 --> 00:44:36.699
We hope you've enjoyed The Wayfinder Show.

00:44:36.840 --> 00:44:41.059
If you got value from this episode, please take a few seconds to leave us a 5 star rating and review.

00:44:41.349 --> 00:44:45.599
This will allow us to help more people find their way to live more authentic and exciting lives.

00:44:46.269 --> 00:44:47.559
We'll catch you on the next episode.