Nurturing Your Mental Health with Dr. Brian Arnold

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In this day and age, you think of what are the tigers that are the threats in our life that will stop us, or we need a bodyguard, or we need somebody to stop us.

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And the tigers are our mind and our thoughts and the things that we put into and overthinking is one of those tigers that will stop us from achieving greatness will stop us from becoming the person that we need to be.

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Welcome to The Wayfinder Show with Luis Hernandez, where guests discuss the why and how of making changes that lead them down a more authentic path or allow them to level up in some area of their life.

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Our goal is to dig deep and provide not only knowledge, but actionable advice to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

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Come join us and find the way to your dream life.

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Welcome back to the Wayfinder show.

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I am your host, Louie Hernandez.

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And today we have a the first of a unique episode that we are going to be doing more of.

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If you've been following our newsletter we are now going to start having some guest co hosts.

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If you're not following the newsletter and you want to be a guest co host, get on our newsletter.

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It's at wayfindershow.

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com.

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And when we put this out there, the very first person who's raised their hand for a person who's going to be our guest today, who was very a lot of people asked for is one of our past guests on this show and it's Erika, my good friend, Erika Pruce from the Virgin Islands.

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I'd like to welcome her back.

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You may remember her from episode 10 Erika, welcome back to the Wayfinder show.

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Hi, thank you.

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Thanks for having me.

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Yeah, I'm so excited to do this.

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Thank you for trying this with us, by the way, last time that we talked to you, you had just moved to the Virgin Islands from Colorado, right?

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And you were starting a handbag company, right?

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Correct.

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Yep.

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How's that going?

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So that so that company is called Olakala Bags.

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I launched it in April down here in the Virgin Islands.

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And they are high end bags handmade in Spain.

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So I'm just coming into the first season down here, so I'm just getting everything rolling with that.

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Yeah.

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That's amazing.

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I love it.

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Yeah.

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Congratulations.

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And so it's out there?

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Like, how can people what do I need to do?

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Go to the Virgin Islands?

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So that, no, you can go to my website it's olakalabags.

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com.

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Okay.

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What, how do you spell Olakala?

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O L A K A L A B A G S bags dot com.

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So Olakala means all is well.

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Yeah.

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Like life is good.

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Yeah.

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So that's check it out.

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Yeah, I love it.

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But yeah.

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Congrats for kicking that off.

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I know that was just an idea that, you were thinking of when you had just moved down there.

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So if our listeners want to hear more about that.

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Please go back to episode 10 and we'll have to do an exclusive episode with you about that journey because I'm sure that's pretty exciting too.

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Yeah, sure.

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Sure.

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I'd love to.

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Yeah.

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Now if we could switch over to our our actual guest for this show is Dr.

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Brian Arnold and Dr.

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B as he likes to be called is he's also an accomplished entrepreneur, community housing advocate and author of the book.

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There is no tiger in this transformative book, Dr.

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Arnold or Dr.

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B shares practical strategies.

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Thank you.

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Rooted in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral techniques, and resilience building exercises to help readers break free from anxiety and overthinking.

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Drawing from his deep experience as a coach and educator, Dr.

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Arnold empowers individuals to embrace the present moment, manage stress effectively, and confidently navigate life's uncertainties.

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He's here to share his insights from the book and other powerful tools for nurturing mental health and wellbeing.

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So Dr.

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B, welcome to the White Founder Show.

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Thank you.

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I'm excited to be here.

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Every chance I, I get the opportunity to talk to some really cool people.

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It's always fun.

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Erica, we were, in the green room right before.

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I didn't realize some of our connections, but, I live in Denver, Colorado, so I'm here where you came from and then my wife has an embroidery business and she makes custom bags, which is I saw that.

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Yeah, I saw that.

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Yeah, which is just, it's just cool to just intersect and the things that I think she's incredible at the things that she does.

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And, we have our basements started out with where I had an office and we had a family room and it was all just, it was just beautiful.

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And then we start this embroidery business and we start out with one machine and she keeps getting business.

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And now we got five machines and a DT printer and now I don't have an office anymore.

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I'm in the kitchen.

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It beats a doghouse.

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Exactly.

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But it's.

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Long as she's loving it and she's making money.

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Hey, if we have to move out, we're talking about another house now at some point where they'll have, some acreage in it where we can have a barn or something where she can have her shop.

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We don't want to go to retail yet just because she has plenty of business without the retail stuff.

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And then to be able to, Hey, why don't I want to pay for a space, that other people are coming in and she's too busy.

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And then she doesn't want to be the.

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Like a manager or a boss of people that are working machines.

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She wants to get yourself in.

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If she gets too big, at least that's what she's telling me.

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Then she becomes a, a manager leader instead of doing what.

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She loves.

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Yeah, I get that.

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I appreciate that Yeah, that's cool.

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So I'm actually Denver and I know, Erica and I know each other from here.

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So we are, we live in the same town, so we could have just done a live show here, oh, It's so cool.

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It means there's no excuse for us not to get together for coffee or something.

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Oh, no, we got to.

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We absolutely have to.

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No doubt.

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Yeah.

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Dr.

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B, tell us a little bit about, you about yourself you are a very accomplished man with a very diverse background.

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You've done it all.

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So tell us a little bit about your journey and how it all comes together.

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Yeah.

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Thanks for doing it.

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It's amazing when you start thinking about, now I'm getting ready to turn in March, I'll turn 60 years old.

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And I'm more excited about the next 20 years than I am about the last 40 years of all this.

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Stuff that I've done.

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And I grew up here in, in Denver, Colorado.

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I went to a high school here that's called Cherry Creek High School, which is the largest school in Colorado.

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And I had zero desire to go to school, to go to college.

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I wanted to be a stuntman, and that's what I was gonna do.

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And my mom.

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And you think about, things that you will do in order to get stuff.

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And so she said, Brian, if you go to college, cause I was a pretty good athlete and I was able to have scholarship offers.

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If you just go to college and not to stunt school, I will buy you a Jeep when you graduate.

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And that was enough when I'm 18 years old, right?

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Like I will go to a four year.

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It's been a whole bunch of time of my life and everything to get a Jeep.

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Now I think about it, he's go, really?

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Okay.

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That's what you were going to do.

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So I did and I ended up going to Southern California and going to a school called Azusa Pacific University, which was a.

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A pretty big track school at the time, and I was a track athlete and I was able to just excel in track.

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And I had some really good roommates, some that, played in the NFL, some that played, that were Olympians.

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I was able to coach over the last 38 years, seven different Olympians and some, in the high school world, a whole bunch of state champions and did some work with one of the gold medalists and the track side of me and the athletic side of me has been really good.

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I, I have stories of when I was over in Europe and thinking I was the deal and starting out in the blocks and folks that would, I was on, I was a hurdler, so I would reach her to one and they were on hurdle three.

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I was good enough to be on the track, but not good enough to be there, but it spurred me on for a lot of the things in my life.

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And I ended up with.

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Going into education and being a teacher and teaching at a high school and a junior high and elementary school.

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And then I taught at the university and coached the university and just enjoy trying to be an administrator, but always had that entrepreneurial is this it, can I go do more?

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Can I do more?

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I was especially a kid.

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And that's why I did not want to at the time, I didn't want to go to college because I figured it was just more of the same of putting me in a trailer or a room or something else and not having the ability to do the work that the other kids were doing.

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Not that I don't think I was smart enough.

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I do think that I was there.

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I think there was back in the seventies and eighties.

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And for those, I know you can't see me, but I'm an African American gentleman that went through school in the seventies and the eighties and, at the Cherry Creek High School that I was at or the high school I was at, it was, there was 3000 students and 35 black students and out of the 35 black students, 15 of us were in special ed, which that didn't make any sense to me.

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It didn't make sense to, but that was the program that was our society.

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That's how we were figuring it out back then.

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And so you just go that doesn't, it doesn't compute, but I didn't get to take advantage of some of the curriculum that my white student counterparts were able to do, whether I was capable of doing it or not, or believed I was or not, I just wasn't there.

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And when I was going to college, I was like, I, there was a deficit there, I.

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Hadn't had the standard English classes, math class.

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I have not had a math class, believe me, believe it or not since my sophomore year in high school.

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I figured out a way in college to take astronomy instead of algebra.

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I loved looking at the stars and they counted as a math class.

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It was something that I did, and I think I'm doing okay.

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I've been in financial services and mortgages and that kind of stuff in the last 20 years.

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So I got enough math to be able to make some money and to help people out and to help them with their finances.

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And I'm not going to, I'm not going to send a shuttle up to the moon, I'm not going to figure out how aerodynamics works and that kind of stuff, but I've been able to make it.

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And so through that process, we have eight children, which is just incredible.

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My youngest is 27.

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My oldest is 36.

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He works for Pixar, which is really cool.

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Oh, wow.

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We get to go to Disneyland a lot.

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We have 16 grandkids right now.

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So one of them is who's here.

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She just ran downstairs.

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It's her birthday today.

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She's three.

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So she's got she's super excited about having her birthday and she comes over.

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And then I worked in, like I said, financial services.

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I did.

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I worked in homeless services after that for a while after 2008 happened because 2008 was not pretty and it was not fun and it was not anything I'd ever want to go through again.

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And having to shut down a mortgage company and stuff at the time.

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But then I went into homeless services and really tried to figure out, I have a per every day system.

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Dear Lord, let me help me to do, have the wisdom to do the things you put me on the search to do in a way that pleases you and serves others.

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And if I can live by that every single day, and I can make sure that I'm serving people when I get up and when I go to bed, then I feel like I'm in purpose and doing stuff.

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And so just recently I started a podcast called the journey to freedom podcast where I'm interviewing it.

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It came out of going to a really cool trust seminar that was in Minnesota.

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David Horsager is tons of research on starting and leaning with trust and trying to understand trust.

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And so I go there and there's 400 people in the room and they're all learning this great stuff.

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And I look around the room and there's 30 people of color in the room.

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And I say, wait a minute, how do, how does my community be able to access this information because somehow they're not cause if they were, then there'd be a lot more of us in this room.

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Came back and just, believe this is where God was leaving me and said that.

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Okay.

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Let's start with doing some coaching with black men and, just thinking about trust, faith, identity, health, and finance.

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Those are my five pillars that we came up with and how do we help people move from being stuck?

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So we started this podcast.

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It is starting to take off that I've now, I said I was going to interview 100 black men this year and now it got to 88.

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So I got 12 more before the end of the year.

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Comes and we're going to take 14 black men down to a civil rights tour in Alabama in the end of January.

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And then we're going to come up and do some transformational groups and some things.

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And after I got my doctorate, I said, you know what, how am I going to use this?

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I have, you told me I would, I would never amount to anything.

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So I decided to write a couple of books and they've been going really well.

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And like we talked about a little bit, the, there is no tiger overcoming, overthinking and controlling anxiety.

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Just something that everybody I was around.

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And as I talked and did some coaching and stuff that overthinking just takes over.

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I'll let you guys, I could talk like straight through this whole thing and I'd let you guys.

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When you were talking about, just all the adversity that you overcame through your childhood to your academic career, who or what was your biggest influence in getting you over that hurdle from being in the special ed program to becoming an academic leader?

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That's such a great question because I totally 100 percent believe everything's about relationships and everything is about people that come into your life that can encourage you to do stuff.

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And I just happen to have some really good coaches that believed in me, not only athletically, but they believed in me.

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Academically, they believed in my purpose.

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They believed in the things that I could do.

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And along with my family and my spouse and, ultimately my kids and stuff, just, through the times and through the adversity, it's okay, so I know.

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This is a hurdle.

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You're going to go through.

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How are you going to get through it?

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How are you going to get over it?

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I think athletic teaches us a lot, too, because we have a lot of adversity.

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You got to push through things.

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So that helped.

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I love sports for that.

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Yes, you learn so much about life skills that take you through every course of life forever.

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Yeah, it is.

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It is.

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There's something about especially it.

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I guess for me, I was fortunate enough to be good enough where somebody wanted to spend that extra time with me, and that's one thing as I've coached and I've been out there is making sure that, you give everybody the opportunity, but you spend time working with their mind, working with the mindset, working with the things that they think about on a daily basis to overcome anxiety.

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I was anxiety or whatever it is, their issues that they have and not spending as much time on the actual ability.

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I wish I could teach somebody to be really athletic and really have the ability to do things, I can coach you on getting better at and using those skills.

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But what I really can coach you on is how you think when you get up in the morning and what are you thinking about when you go to bed at night?

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And how are you interacting with the beliefs that others have for you?

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And athletics helps you with that.

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I just happened to be on some pretty good winning teams and, I've been able to coach some folks that have helped me through that process.

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And then when you have the right mindset when you wake up every morning life is, I think, is different than from other folks that I've, yeah.

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How do you what would you say your best tool for holding your own self accountable is?

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My, I would go back to being able to serve others because if I'm not able to get up and do something for somebody else or to be that example that's somehow that's been a big thing for me, even through, even went through my mistakes being able to laugh about some of the examples of things that I've done and say if I can do this, You can do this too.

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And then thinking through, even yesterday as I'm, I started about, I'm a little, not quite three years ago on December 14th.

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I'll hit a thousand.

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I said, I am going to send a social media post out.

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I know a lot of people probably listen to this.

00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:27.889
I said, I need to get on social media.

00:15:27.889 --> 00:15:29.009
I need to get on social media.

00:15:29.009 --> 00:15:30.759
And I said, I am going to do it.

00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:39.429
I am going to post something on these channels that I have no clue how to do every single day for 30 days.

00:15:39.879 --> 00:15:41.220
I don't know what I'm going to talk about.

00:15:41.269 --> 00:15:43.100
I don't know what somebody wants to listen to.

00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:51.210
I just want to get good at me being able to speak in front of others in a way that they might want to listen to anything that I have to say.

00:15:51.610 --> 00:15:52.539
So I started that.

00:15:52.539 --> 00:15:55.200
I said, I got to every day, got up and did it.

00:15:55.250 --> 00:15:58.889
And so I got to be an example because I'm telling people that I'm doing this and I'm going to do it.

00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:01.220
And I got the 30 days and said, I can do 90 days.

00:16:01.490 --> 00:16:02.820
So they went to 90 days.

00:16:03.049 --> 00:16:05.529
And then I said if I can do 90 days, I can do a year.

00:16:05.904 --> 00:16:18.404
And so I went one full straight year haven't missed a day And then I said at the end of the year, I said, I think i'm going to do it for 10 years If I can't do this for 10 years or at least I said the first night I don't want to say 10 years.

00:16:18.524 --> 00:16:23.075
It was a thousand posts And so i'll hit a thousand posts on december 14th.

00:16:23.325 --> 00:16:39.825
I've done it every day I don't know if I will make every single day for the whole 10 years, but I can at least say I did a thousand Episodes in a row or not episodes two minute posts Post in a row, and I put him on five different platforms for the last 900 and whatever days it's been.

00:16:40.205 --> 00:16:47.684
And so that's how I've approached it and said, okay, if I got to be an example, then I have to be accountable to myself.

00:16:47.684 --> 00:16:48.715
And that's been a lot of work.

00:16:48.715 --> 00:16:49.475
It's hard to.

00:16:49.830 --> 00:16:57.250
Yeah, to look in the mirror and say, I kept the promises that I made to myself and I don't do it 100%.

00:16:57.730 --> 00:16:59.039
It's the goal, right?

00:16:59.529 --> 00:17:00.379
Yeah, I promise.

00:17:00.379 --> 00:17:01.470
I'm going to do this today.

00:17:01.730 --> 00:17:02.190
Yes.

00:17:02.190 --> 00:17:03.659
I, my wife reminds me all the time.

00:17:03.700 --> 00:17:05.680
I know you said you're going to clean the garage.

00:17:06.250 --> 00:17:07.140
I know, right?

00:17:07.299 --> 00:17:11.440
I know you said it takes 21 days to make a habit, right?

00:17:11.769 --> 00:17:13.980
I heard that on your podcast.

00:17:13.980 --> 00:17:14.089
Yeah.

00:17:14.089 --> 00:17:15.259
Yeah, it does.

00:17:15.259 --> 00:17:18.369
After 21 days, it really, that, that creates it.

00:17:18.615 --> 00:17:25.565
It creates the habit, but you can get rid of a habit just as easy, you think of exercising or working out or, hey, you bake it.

00:17:25.744 --> 00:17:27.164
I'm doing, I'm used to doing this now.

00:17:27.384 --> 00:17:31.365
And then you go on vacation and then you don't feel like it right after vacation.

00:17:31.365 --> 00:17:43.694
And then the 21 days that habits gone, it probably, this is probably half the time to lose a habit, but at least, as you're working through and helping people get through that, you can say, I know this is scientifically what they say.

00:17:43.964 --> 00:17:45.204
And then you keep working on it.

00:17:45.204 --> 00:17:45.365
Yeah.

00:17:45.815 --> 00:17:50.944
And you ultimately end up being a better person because you are keeping those promises to yourself and others.

00:17:51.444 --> 00:17:55.694
Being consistent with anything for a long time, it just, it doesn't matter what it is.

00:17:55.694 --> 00:17:57.575
It just makes you a pro, right?

00:17:57.615 --> 00:18:07.865
Like you just develop, I'm sure your way by now, you are way I've seen, I haven't seen when you started, but I seen what you look like now and what you sound like in your recent posts and you're smooth now.

00:18:07.865 --> 00:18:10.045
And I'm sure it wasn't like that when you started, right?

00:18:10.444 --> 00:18:12.234
That's pretty scary thing.

00:18:12.244 --> 00:18:15.914
And you're umming and awing and don't know, probably did a bunch of retakes.

00:18:15.914 --> 00:18:16.934
We didn't even get to see.

00:18:17.285 --> 00:18:18.555
And but you just got to do it.

00:18:18.724 --> 00:18:19.615
Yeah, no, it is.

00:18:19.615 --> 00:18:21.125
It's you got to make a decision.

00:18:21.164 --> 00:18:28.674
And then once you make that decision, you have to follow through totally And it's probably a good segue to your book on overthinking, right?

00:18:28.724 --> 00:18:31.954
Because it's really all about not overthinking and just doing it.

00:18:32.234 --> 00:18:46.295
It is, and I love It is because you think of Like on my decision book that I just did, it's is the precessor to it saying, okay, there are disciplines when you make a decision that you have to have, whether you have them already or not, you have to create them.

00:18:46.515 --> 00:18:51.714
If I want to be a world class swimmer, and I say, but I'm going to go to the pool twice a week.

00:18:51.904 --> 00:18:56.265
You're disciplined at twice a week and being a world class that are so far apart.

00:18:56.430 --> 00:18:57.359
It's never going to happen.

00:18:57.579 --> 00:18:59.279
So you have to create those disciplines.

00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.200
What happens is we begin to think that we can't do it.

00:19:02.460 --> 00:19:10.220
When I think about overthinking there's a movie that plays in our mind that says these are, this is what's going to happen.

00:19:10.230 --> 00:19:12.839
Cause we want to control the future, which we can't do.

00:19:13.029 --> 00:19:15.059
And we know we can't do, but we still want to do it.

00:19:15.069 --> 00:19:17.220
Cause that's what overthinking and anxiety is all about.

00:19:18.220 --> 00:19:24.069
And so we play this movie in our mind that says, if I do this, these are the things that are gonna happen.

00:19:24.309 --> 00:19:28.710
If I go and I start to work out and I start to work my body, then what if I don't show up?

00:19:28.710 --> 00:19:32.500
Or what if I sprain a muscle or what if I go there and here's what a lot of people think and.

00:19:33.184 --> 00:19:39.914
If somebody looks at me and they think in their mind that I'm a fat slob or I don't look good or I'm not attractive.

00:19:39.944 --> 00:19:44.595
What if they think that then I'm going to go home when I'm going to get a self, a self image that says I'm not any good.

00:19:44.674 --> 00:19:47.565
That person never that person's thinking the same thing about themselves.

00:19:47.565 --> 00:19:50.625
I'm not thinking about you, but we think all these negative scenarios.

00:19:50.625 --> 00:20:15.299
I go home and if I didn't bring home the right amount of money, my wife's not going to love me, and if she doesn't love me, then she's going to tell the kids not to love me, and if the kids don't love me, then, then, they're going to, they're going to have a skewed sense of what a marriage is all about in their life, and then they're not going to have good relationships, and when they don't have good relationships, and we do this, we play these scenarios in our mind, that probably will never happen, that will never go by, but it Paralyzes us.

00:20:15.549 --> 00:20:19.349
I'm not going to go to the gym because somebody might think about me a certain way.

00:20:19.569 --> 00:20:23.119
And so I'm not going to eat right, because if I eat right, then my body will feel good.

00:20:23.150 --> 00:20:26.079
But then I won't look the way that my body, there's just all these scenarios.

00:20:26.589 --> 00:20:31.480
The funny thing is, we don't ever, overthink good scenarios.

00:20:31.900 --> 00:20:46.940
I don't think, Oh, my wife's gonna love me so much when I get home today, that life is just gonna be, she's gonna do, and it's gonna be just what we only go through the negative things, which gives us this skewed viewpoint, then we jump on social media.

00:20:46.970 --> 00:20:48.390
So we'll jump on social media.

00:20:48.589 --> 00:20:53.589
And then what social media tells us is that everybody's life is this way.

00:20:53.869 --> 00:21:01.839
We look at all the posts on Facebook, all the posts on Instagram, all the posts on TikTok and we go, wow, these guys are doing great.

00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:04.390
They post every day of all the great stuff that's happening in life.

00:21:04.750 --> 00:21:11.660
On the opposite side of that they don't post all the, a few do, but very rarely does somebody tell, get on Facebook and tell you all their woes.

00:21:11.900 --> 00:21:17.444
They get on Facebook and tell you, or TikTok, and tell you all these great things that are happening, and then we think that's their life every day.

00:21:18.390 --> 00:21:21.920
And then now we compare ourselves and go that person was able to do this, and this.

00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:25.470
Yeah, I did a thousand posts, but I didn't do a thousand posts in one day.

00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:27.400
I did a thousand posts in one month.

00:21:27.650 --> 00:21:32.460
And so you can look at me and say he sounds good when he talks and he doesn't have all those things.

00:21:32.460 --> 00:21:33.630
He must've always been that way.

00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:34.855
I can never be that way.

00:21:35.444 --> 00:21:41.994
Go watch my first videos because then you won't overthink the fact that you can't watch those and talk about those things now.

00:21:41.994 --> 00:21:48.035
And that's the whole thing of the book is just saying, okay, this is the reality of you overthinking.

00:21:48.244 --> 00:21:50.404
Now, what are you going to do about it when you notice it?

00:21:50.704 --> 00:21:55.174
And there's a whole bunch of techniques and counting down from five, like the yeah.

00:21:55.569 --> 00:22:05.170
The, I can't think of the lady who does the get up and get going lady that does that but, some of those techniques, breathing techniques that you do visualizing techniques that you do.

00:22:05.220 --> 00:22:13.029
The book is just full and packed with a whole bunch of, things that you can do when those situations start manifesting themselves.

00:22:13.309 --> 00:22:14.799
And the biggest thing is recognizing it.

00:22:15.190 --> 00:22:17.740
And then just saying, okay, I recognize I'm overthinking.

00:22:17.750 --> 00:22:19.789
And a lot of people tell me I overthink all the time.

00:22:20.200 --> 00:22:21.980
And I said, okay, so why do you keep doing it?

00:22:23.045 --> 00:22:23.734
I don't know.

00:22:23.865 --> 00:22:27.315
Okay, so do you want to stop overthinking or do you want to still?

00:22:27.325 --> 00:22:28.484
How do you recognize it?

00:22:28.984 --> 00:22:37.845
One of the things is when you're when you start going off into a tangent that is so far away, that's how you start recognizing.

00:22:37.845 --> 00:22:41.904
When you think of every situation that comes in, you automatically go to the negative.

00:22:42.769 --> 00:22:59.220
And that's the biggest way to figure out if you recognize if you're doing a whole lot of overthinking, if somebody presents something to you and your first thought is how it's going to go wrong, that's where you need to catch yourself because, Hey, we have this opportunity to have, a security system put into our house.

00:22:59.825 --> 00:23:02.005
If we do that, then why do we need a security system?

00:23:02.005 --> 00:23:12.394
Does that mean that somebody's going to, whatever it is that somebody says in life that they come to you and you start going to the negative, my wife and I have this conversation all the time Hey, we were thinking about a purchase or something.

00:23:12.394 --> 00:23:14.775
And then, we said, okay we know we need a new car.

00:23:14.775 --> 00:23:17.654
We need, we need to go start looking and what are the cars that are available?

00:23:18.190 --> 00:23:23.759
And then she goes into this whole thing or has in the past kind of this whole thing of, what if this happens?

00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:24.519
What if this happens?

00:23:24.519 --> 00:23:25.940
What if we're not able to do this?

00:23:25.940 --> 00:23:40.059
Or what if we go, we were just going to California last week or 2 weeks ago, we decided that we were going to drive because I was going to test out the autopilot on our car because they gave us a free month of trial on the car and she was like, yeah, What if it doesn't do right.

00:23:40.059 --> 00:23:41.440
What if it doesn't do what it's supposed to do?

00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:42.279
I'm sitting in the seat.

00:23:42.345 --> 00:23:43.704
I have a sta It does, yeah.

00:23:45.085 --> 00:23:49.869
You know what, if we go off the cliff and I'm like, we agree, we're not gonna go off a cliff.

00:23:49.869 --> 00:23:51.279
Like I'm sitting in the chair.

00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:53.619
I'm not, we're not sitting in the backseat Exactly.

00:23:54.279 --> 00:23:55.809
To drive us all the way to California.

00:23:56.119 --> 00:23:59.369
But that's the that's a sign of overthinking a whole bunch of.

00:23:59.589 --> 00:24:04.680
stuff, especially if you're going to start a business or you're going to be, an entrepreneur, you're thinking of, Hey, I'm going to do this thing.

00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:06.089
It's going to enhance my life.

00:24:06.660 --> 00:24:10.630
And then you start thinking of everything that can go wrong before you ever start doing the things.

00:24:10.694 --> 00:24:12.525
That it would take in becoming that person.

00:24:12.525 --> 00:24:18.410
And the problem is we haven't become the person usually that we need to be in order to do whatever the thing is.

00:24:18.769 --> 00:24:20.779
And so are we gonna go through those steps?

00:24:20.779 --> 00:24:24.130
And that negative thinking or that overthinking comes from.

00:24:24.339 --> 00:24:27.460
I know I'm not the person who has a.

00:24:27.549 --> 00:24:30.390
100, 000, subscriber podcast.

00:24:30.430 --> 00:24:33.019
I'm not that person yet because if I was, I'd have one.

00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:40.390
So that scariness of what does it take to get there and not having mentors or people in your life that can help you walk through that.

00:24:41.299 --> 00:24:41.680
Yeah.

00:24:41.880 --> 00:24:46.630
I came up with this exercise a while back when we were in, Erica and I were in business school.

00:24:46.630 --> 00:24:50.599
We had this thing called the SWOT analysis, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threat.

00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:55.789
And whenever we had, we're looking at a business, we run it through that, that analysis.

00:24:56.150 --> 00:24:58.900
And it's a great, it's just a great framework to use, but.

00:24:59.345 --> 00:25:02.644
When we come up with an idea, all three of us here are entrepreneurs.

00:25:02.684 --> 00:25:04.755
When we get started, we're all excited about it.

00:25:04.755 --> 00:25:08.045
And we, all we can think about is how great this idea is going to be.

00:25:08.045 --> 00:25:10.375
And then, and we make a big list.

00:25:10.404 --> 00:25:16.835
And then as we start to overthink it, that's when the weaknesses and threats start to pop up there.

00:25:16.845 --> 00:25:21.815
So I came up with this thing, whenever I come up with an idea at the point that.

00:25:22.424 --> 00:25:31.115
The oper the threats and the weaknesses start to match the strengths and the opportunities.

00:25:31.414 --> 00:25:32.974
That's when you stop thinking and do.

00:25:33.085 --> 00:25:34.684
You make a decision and do, right?

00:25:34.694 --> 00:25:38.930
Cause the, at first it's all strengths and Opportunities.

00:25:39.009 --> 00:25:42.569
And then, and you should be aware of what are the blind spots, right?

00:25:42.589 --> 00:25:49.420
But I think some of them through, but then we start making up some crazy stuff that we don't need to be thinking about too much.

00:25:49.420 --> 00:25:53.250
And I don't know, I'm sure Erica, now you're in it, right?

00:25:53.250 --> 00:25:56.789
You started your business a year and a half ago, or, now you're really in it, right?

00:25:56.789 --> 00:26:01.089
If you were to, did you even foresee the problems you have now with your handbag?

00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:01.710
No.

00:26:02.079 --> 00:26:08.279
And I think there's so much to be said about finding balance from, from both sides.

00:26:08.309 --> 00:26:14.940
Cause I think, you, you and I are both like positivity number one or number two or whatever.

00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:19.849
And for myself, I find that can sometimes get in the way.

00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:24.509
And I go the other direction where I, I'm always the half full girl.

00:26:24.539 --> 00:26:25.569
And so sometimes.

00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:31.259
I need to find balance and be like, no, you can't do it all, things like that.

00:26:31.259 --> 00:26:39.059
It's about if you're too positive, then sometimes you don't allow yourself to see the blind spots that you need to see, right?

00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:43.559
So there's gotta be a way to find the balance between both.

00:26:44.154 --> 00:26:54.924
And that's definitely been a challenge for me because I don't look in the rear view mirror and I don't tend to think negatively at all, but sometimes being too positive can also hinder you.

00:26:55.845 --> 00:26:56.055
Totally.

00:26:56.595 --> 00:27:03.380
There's a difference between Being smart and being careful and being calculated than being negative.

00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:14.190
And I think sometimes we commingle those when, the first probably the first couple of chapters in my new book where we talk about making decisions, most of the decisions that we make in life.

00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:16.200
reversible decisions.

00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:30.450
And to 99 percent of all decisions w you're going to get your of a disease or whatever Is not going to grow back and you need to take care and maybe even more thoughtfulness.

00:27:30.529 --> 00:27:32.630
What are the options to be able to do this?

00:27:33.069 --> 00:27:47.319
But if you're thinking about, things like, should I start or get going and, do stuff if you're 51, 52 percent certain that you're able to get going and you've gone through, do I have the disciplines and do you know, what are the costs that are going to have to be there?

00:27:47.529 --> 00:27:49.849
Those things, if you calculated those.

00:27:51.349 --> 00:27:56.789
Those are decisions you have to say, I'm willing to live with this decision, whether it goes great.

00:27:56.819 --> 00:28:00.640
If I've got to move to, to the Virgin Islands, that's a huge decision in life.

00:28:00.769 --> 00:28:03.460
But if I don't, then I'll be wondering about it my whole life.

00:28:03.460 --> 00:28:06.259
If I do, and I go for it and it doesn't work out.

00:28:06.390 --> 00:28:07.880
Colorado's not going anywhere.

00:28:08.029 --> 00:28:09.500
I can always come back.

00:28:09.509 --> 00:28:11.480
I can always do other stuff.

00:28:11.529 --> 00:28:13.930
But then when we overthinking side of it.

00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:18.980
We've already decided that there's something in the Virgin Islands that's going to happen to us.

00:28:18.990 --> 00:28:21.789
So we're going to get some kind of disease or we're not going to be able to work.

00:28:21.789 --> 00:28:23.079
We're not going to be able to do anything.

00:28:23.079 --> 00:28:30.559
And now we've just went down seven or eight different roads of possibilities that will never happen, not calculated.

00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:33.579
What if the good things happen and I do what I'm supposed to do?

00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:36.500
What are all the possibilities that could happen?

00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:41.009
And I think that's where we get stuck sometimes is we go so far down that rabbit hole.

00:28:41.484 --> 00:28:45.025
That, the wizard is going to be at the end and he's going to be behind the curtain.

00:28:45.025 --> 00:28:45.884
It's not going to be real.

00:28:45.884 --> 00:28:50.305
And, you can just think of some of the things you've gone down roads of.

00:28:50.724 --> 00:28:52.095
Non real possibilities.

00:28:52.204 --> 00:28:59.545
Like we all, we end up when, if that's another way to tell, if you wind up at a possibility that is, I'm going to end up in outer space or something like that.

00:28:59.744 --> 00:29:06.075
You've gone way too far because the chances of you ending up in outer space are not happening.

00:29:06.964 --> 00:29:07.234
Yeah.

00:29:08.555 --> 00:29:09.974
Yeah, no, that's a great point.

00:29:10.505 --> 00:29:19.315
So what about let's talk about With the book itself a little bit like how that came about i'm curious about the name that's an intriguing title.

00:29:19.325 --> 00:29:20.525
There is no tiger.

00:29:20.535 --> 00:29:21.234
Is that right?

00:29:21.845 --> 00:29:24.244
There is no tiger and it comes I love it.

00:29:24.244 --> 00:29:40.664
It comes from a story of in the old caveman days where there were groups and communities that had to make a watch or look out at the cave or whatever so that everybody could sleep because the tiger could come in and he could devour you and eat you and kill you in there.

00:29:40.684 --> 00:29:42.454
The tiger was a real threat.

00:29:42.835 --> 00:29:54.724
And so in this day and age, you think of what are the Tigers that are the threats in our life that will stop us or we need a bodyguard or we need somebody to stop us.

00:29:54.724 --> 00:30:02.964
And the tigers are our mind and our thoughts and the things that we put into and overthinking is one of those tigers that will stop us from achieving.

00:30:02.994 --> 00:30:05.795
Greatness will stop us from becoming the person that we need to be.

00:30:06.075 --> 00:30:07.755
And so it came from there.

00:30:07.865 --> 00:30:09.065
There is no tiger is.

00:30:09.295 --> 00:30:11.134
The tiger doesn't really exist.

00:30:11.144 --> 00:30:16.674
It's something you've made up in your mind and created this tiger that is stopping you from doing it.

00:30:16.674 --> 00:30:23.065
And I heard a story where there was a guy that had done a presentation and did poorly at the presentation and he was sitting at a bar.

00:30:24.714 --> 00:30:27.474
The bartender had a picture of a tiger on her arm.

00:30:27.474 --> 00:30:30.015
And that's what she said, all these things that just happened to you.

00:30:30.164 --> 00:30:34.545
And now all the things that you're taking from it and worried about that doesn't exist.

00:30:34.545 --> 00:30:36.275
And that, that's where the title came through.

00:30:36.275 --> 00:30:40.234
And then my if you get a chance to look at the book cover my son designed it.

00:30:40.244 --> 00:30:42.734
And so he's got some really, it's a beautiful cover.

00:30:43.785 --> 00:30:47.865
He, that, that's on my Pixar son that knows this.

00:30:47.865 --> 00:30:48.345
Stuff.

00:30:48.345 --> 00:30:49.795
And but that was the whole point.

00:30:49.835 --> 00:30:56.880
And the actual head of the tiger is on the back of the book, and that's why he is not on the front because it doesn't, he doesn't exist.

00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:57.809
He's on his way out.

00:30:58.140 --> 00:31:01.940
And so the tigers in our lives, the things in our lives that we believe.

00:31:03.454 --> 00:31:06.704
of our of why we mak what we do.

00:31:06.904 --> 00:31:12.494
Sometimes tho and so recognizing th something about it becaus some people.

00:31:12.494 --> 00:31:17.775
I'm where a clinical that we is a real thing.

00:31:17.944 --> 00:31:33.055
And if y chapters in my book are n then it's okay to go talk okay to have somebody who there might be some t in your life, o I've been talking about, Springs and things that have happened.

00:31:33.055 --> 00:31:37.404
And so you're dealing with some stuff that you know, yeah, I know why you have anxiety here.

00:31:37.404 --> 00:31:42.375
This, there, there is a tiger that we need to get rid of before you can move forward.

00:31:42.654 --> 00:31:44.805
And but there the tiger might not be real.

00:31:44.924 --> 00:31:48.855
It's not gonna devour you if you go find the right type of people that can help you get through it.

00:31:49.694 --> 00:32:02.365
So what I'm curious, Dr B on what was when you made your move from academia to the entrepreneurial world, what was your hardest lesson making that transition?

00:32:03.585 --> 00:32:09.724
I think the hard, what I would say the hardest lesson in it because that was in the middle of me having a family in the middle of me.

00:32:10.035 --> 00:32:12.505
Saying, okay is money everything?

00:32:12.505 --> 00:32:15.894
And how much money do I need to have to be able to survive and to live?

00:32:15.894 --> 00:32:19.285
And will I be able, the overthinking, will I be able to take care of my family?

00:32:20.410 --> 00:32:25.000
Will I be able to to be good enough at this to do it on my own.

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:35.730
And so I, this, the, at the beginning, the transition was slow, my entrepreneur beginnings were with the, the multi levels and the amways and the, trying to figure that out why it was.

00:32:35.859 --> 00:32:36.420
It's still working.

00:32:36.420 --> 00:32:44.000
It's still being a professor and I left the university to go teach at an elementary school so that I could work on my business.

00:32:44.210 --> 00:32:47.680
So I spent two and a half years, three years at an elementary school.

00:32:47.930 --> 00:32:49.410
It was a win for me.

00:32:49.420 --> 00:32:53.880
Not only did I go back to be a PE teacher, which meant I didn't have to grade papers.

00:32:53.890 --> 00:32:55.910
I didn't have to do stuff in the night I could do.

00:32:56.109 --> 00:32:58.960
I could just go coach PE or teach PE to elementary kids.

00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:02.890
There's not a lot you can help a seven year old with other than just getting some balance.

00:33:03.079 --> 00:33:07.730
But my three of my kids were at the elementary school with me.

00:33:07.730 --> 00:33:11.710
So they got to see dad at school and see dad then turn in.

00:33:11.710 --> 00:33:16.410
Where I say I think a lot of people say if they work two jobs or they have all these things where they're working on different stuff.

00:33:16.410 --> 00:33:17.539
What am I, what's my cost?

00:33:17.849 --> 00:33:19.430
Cause that's part of the decision process, right?

00:33:19.460 --> 00:33:23.869
What is my cost if they don't see me at night and they don't see me at day.

00:33:24.009 --> 00:33:25.750
And I got to make sure that I'm a good dad.

00:33:26.039 --> 00:33:27.750
But since I got to go to school with him every day.

00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:29.190
I got to eat lunch with them every day.

00:33:29.190 --> 00:33:30.559
I got to spend time with them every day.

00:33:30.599 --> 00:33:33.099
Their dad was the coolest teacher on campus, right?

00:33:33.430 --> 00:33:36.369
So when they think about their childhood, they think of.

00:33:36.680 --> 00:33:39.150
That was our dad was in school with us, dad.

00:33:39.190 --> 00:33:40.529
Dad didn't miss any of my games.

00:33:40.529 --> 00:33:43.160
Dad didn't miss any of my, my events and that kind of stuff.

00:33:43.460 --> 00:33:43.869
Some of it.

00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:45.069
Some of it had to be there, right?

00:33:45.250 --> 00:33:46.190
You have to be there.

00:33:47.349 --> 00:33:49.230
Whether you want to or not, you're a teacher.

00:33:49.460 --> 00:34:03.079
So what what what were the tigers in your head, as you were exploring that new opportunity and I think a lot of it.

00:34:03.079 --> 00:34:03.869
Am I enough.

00:34:04.390 --> 00:34:10.219
That's something that I think spent a lot of time in my mind saying, I don't have, I've used it.

00:34:10.329 --> 00:34:13.230
I don't have the right background.

00:34:13.230 --> 00:34:14.420
I don't have the right pedigree.

00:34:14.420 --> 00:34:16.300
I don't have the right experience.

00:34:16.300 --> 00:34:17.710
I don't have the right education.

00:34:17.949 --> 00:34:25.980
And to do some of the things to be able to help other people the way that these people are telling me to, when I got into the financial services I don't understand math.

00:34:25.980 --> 00:34:26.650
I don't understand.

00:34:26.650 --> 00:34:30.219
I don't, what kind of math do I need to be able to do in order to do it?

00:34:30.219 --> 00:34:31.340
That was a big tiger.

00:34:31.630 --> 00:34:32.280
The cost of.

00:34:34.195 --> 00:34:35.635
The family was a tiger.

00:34:35.635 --> 00:34:38.164
Then it didn't, I think I limited some of them.

00:34:38.324 --> 00:34:47.704
There's some things that I didn't do, or I haven't gone into because of my belief system wasn't great enough to think that I was the right, or I was capable.

00:34:48.085 --> 00:34:54.135
Of even doing some of the things, some of the opportunities that I think I passed by because, I wasn't the right person.

00:34:54.315 --> 00:34:56.094
If I do this, the, it's scary.

00:34:56.094 --> 00:34:57.235
I've never done this before.

00:34:57.235 --> 00:34:59.594
How is how could I possibly be good at this?

00:34:59.594 --> 00:35:02.164
And what would anybody, especially when you get into sales.

00:35:02.664 --> 00:35:04.755
When you get into sales, like, why would anybody buy for me?

00:35:05.125 --> 00:35:11.284
I don't know enough about whatever it is, this window, to, to be able to explain it to somebody, why would they give me their money?

00:35:11.625 --> 00:35:12.585
What is it that I have?

00:35:12.614 --> 00:35:17.034
And then you get into where somebody says if you haven't done it before, then you really don't know what you're doing.

00:35:17.434 --> 00:35:22.735
And then I look back at some of the greatest coaches that I've looked at over the past, think of bill Belichick, right?

00:35:22.894 --> 00:35:27.934
One of the greatest football coaches for the Patriots, how many super balls, Tom Brady, the whole thing.

00:35:29.155 --> 00:35:32.894
You can play football, so how could you be a coach and not play the game?

00:35:32.894 --> 00:35:37.824
Cause everybody tells you, you have to have been able to do the thing in order to be able to teach others.

00:35:37.875 --> 00:35:44.494
That's not, you have to be able to see the issues that are in with, within people that you can help them fix it.

00:35:44.514 --> 00:35:47.204
Nobody else can, or the other people can, but you're just better at it.

00:35:47.664 --> 00:35:49.744
And I think through my athletics and coaching, that's helped a lot.

00:35:49.835 --> 00:35:53.815
Ironically, a lot of the, it's almost the opposite sometimes, right?

00:35:53.815 --> 00:35:55.625
We can look at some of the greats of all time.

00:35:55.625 --> 00:35:58.835
I'm thinking like Larry Bird in basketball, Michael Jordan, right?

00:35:58.835 --> 00:36:02.284
Like they, they weren't great coach or in Jordan's.

00:36:02.485 --> 00:36:06.284
Casey wasn't a great general manager or whatever, or even owner, right?

00:36:06.295 --> 00:36:15.065
Like it's just you, what makes you great as an athlete, as a player, doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to be a great coach or any of that, right?

00:36:15.295 --> 00:36:15.744
Oh, absolutely.

00:36:15.905 --> 00:36:17.195
You think of Michael Jordan, right?

00:36:17.204 --> 00:36:20.315
The great, probably the greatest basketball player that's ever been on the court.

00:36:20.315 --> 00:36:26.025
Arguably with LeBron or whoever would say, but at the same time, most people, I agree with you there.

00:36:27.494 --> 00:36:28.355
Most people.

00:36:28.914 --> 00:36:34.164
In fact, almost everybody, I don't know of any other people have been ability to do what he's able to do.

00:36:34.434 --> 00:36:39.905
So if you are the only person in the world, do a thing and you're really good at doing that thing.

00:36:40.085 --> 00:36:43.684
You can't coach it because other people don't have the ability to do what you're coaching.

00:36:43.715 --> 00:36:43.925
Yeah.

00:36:44.894 --> 00:36:50.335
What he saw on the floor, what he was able to do, you can't coach it because people don't have the ability to do it.

00:36:50.574 --> 00:36:52.815
So you, so in your mind, you go why can't you?

00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:59.059
It was easy for me, but a coach that can look at other people and say, oh, that's the potential.

00:36:59.219 --> 00:37:02.420
I think they can get to this level because they have the ability to do that.

00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:09.954
And then be able to talk to their minds and to get the mindset and have them believe that they can do it and then show them the techniques and skills to be able.

00:37:10.614 --> 00:37:11.074
To do it.

00:37:11.355 --> 00:37:12.764
That's what makes a great coach.

00:37:13.105 --> 00:37:15.394
It's not your ability to be really good.

00:37:15.394 --> 00:37:17.565
And probably a lot of stuff that Michael, it was just natural.

00:37:17.605 --> 00:37:27.074
He didn't, he practiced and he practiced really hard, but when you jump from a free throw line and dunk a basketball over the top of people's heads, that isn't something that was taught.

00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:29.110
Yeah.

00:37:29.119 --> 00:37:29.510
True.

00:37:30.670 --> 00:37:31.349
Yeah Dr.

00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:34.260
B, I think this is a subject we can keep talking about forever.

00:37:34.260 --> 00:37:47.599
It's the kind of stuff we love to talk about, but, for the sake of you guys to be able to get back to your lives, I'm gonna switch us over to our world famous, since we have somebody here from the Virgin Islands our world famous Wayfinder 4.

00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:48.320
So you ready?

00:37:50.255 --> 00:37:50.625
I'm ready.

00:37:50.625 --> 00:37:51.012
All right.

00:37:51.012 --> 00:37:51.965
All right.

00:37:52.414 --> 00:37:53.885
What's so give us a hack.

00:37:54.885 --> 00:37:55.635
A hack?

00:37:56.085 --> 00:37:56.405
Yeah.

00:37:57.635 --> 00:38:05.925
The hack would be is be consistent every chance you get no matter what somebody says.

00:38:05.925 --> 00:38:13.764
And so whatever you're trying to do, whatever you're trying to accomplish, the hack that will help you become the person that you need to be is being consistent.

00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:15.800
That's good.

00:38:16.480 --> 00:38:17.469
How about a favorite?

00:38:19.300 --> 00:38:22.929
Ah, just watch the Gladiator movie again.

00:38:23.179 --> 00:38:25.380
That is a favorite of mine.

00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:27.130
And they got a new one coming out next week.

00:38:27.130 --> 00:38:28.710
And I'm not trying to promote anybody.

00:38:28.909 --> 00:38:30.380
But it's on my mind right now.

00:38:30.650 --> 00:38:33.030
But at the same time, I've been watching.

00:38:33.550 --> 00:38:35.480
You're laughing at me, the six million dollar man.

00:38:35.789 --> 00:38:40.809
I think that gave me a whole lot of confidence when I was five years old that I could do.

00:38:40.820 --> 00:38:44.920
It's so cheesy and it's so bad right now, but it has been a favorite in my mind.

00:38:45.219 --> 00:38:47.449
And I'm literally watching episode after episode of this.

00:38:48.449 --> 00:38:48.929
6 million.

00:38:49.045 --> 00:38:49.264
Man.

00:38:49.264 --> 00:38:49.664
That's okay.

00:38:49.670 --> 00:38:51.869
Trying to pull out Jims Yeah.

00:38:52.230 --> 00:38:54.809
I don't even know what it's, I remember it.

00:38:54.809 --> 00:38:55.650
The Bionic woman.

00:38:55.739 --> 00:38:56.190
Yeah.

00:38:56.550 --> 00:38:57.269
No.

00:38:57.510 --> 00:38:57.659
Yeah.

00:38:57.659 --> 00:38:58.440
You heard of that one.

00:38:58.440 --> 00:38:58.650
Yeah.

00:38:58.650 --> 00:39:00.909
She's a little bit, I literally.

00:39:01.909 --> 00:39:02.929
I love it.

00:39:02.929 --> 00:39:04.460
But that's, that would be a favorite.

00:39:04.969 --> 00:39:05.119
Okay.

00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:10.550
So what what advice would you have for your younger self to, to learn?

00:39:10.969 --> 00:39:17.485
That when some, when people are ready to help you, like they say when the student is ready to teacher would.

00:39:18.289 --> 00:39:37.019
And I think if I were to take my younger self, the fear of talking to people that are doing things that I want to do was so great that I didn't take advantage of people that I know now would've helped me Because one of, one of the goals of people who are successful usually now that I'm here, is I wanna figure out how to help people.

00:39:37.434 --> 00:39:42.244
And so I was so scared to walk up to people and talk to them and say, will you be my mentor?

00:39:42.244 --> 00:39:43.295
Will you help me?

00:39:43.635 --> 00:39:46.974
If I could go back in time and redo that's what I would do.

00:39:46.974 --> 00:39:51.045
I would figure out how to get the courage to go talk to people earlier.

00:39:51.545 --> 00:40:00.875
And if you are young and you think that the person is beyond you, and there might be some people who will just shine you because you're not ready yet, but there will be people who will show you how to get ready.

00:40:01.585 --> 00:40:02.775
That is, I love that.

00:40:03.215 --> 00:40:03.885
Yeah, that's good.

00:40:05.050 --> 00:40:10.429
So last one, your choice between a limiting belief or a big opportunity.

00:40:10.980 --> 00:40:12.679
I take a big opportunity.

00:40:12.780 --> 00:40:23.340
I can overcome and not overthink limiting beliefs, big opportunities, are things that we have to look at and say, okay, this is an opportunity.

00:40:23.340 --> 00:40:27.230
If I have a way to be able to do it because what's the worst thing that could happen.

00:40:27.579 --> 00:40:29.460
So what is a big opportunity out there right now?

00:40:30.554 --> 00:40:40.034
I think right now a big opportunity is just in this whole entrepreneur space in the whole, finding what it is that you believe is your purpose.

00:40:40.335 --> 00:40:54.204
I think we sometimes in, just because we just got out of an election season where there was just so incredibly crazy people concentrate on lack, like there's not enough resources, that there's not enough money to go around.

00:40:54.204 --> 00:41:01.889
And so So if you, if I let you have some money, that means I don't get, I, there's not enough money for me and the big opportunity.

00:41:02.905 --> 00:41:05.954
I think people miss is there's plenty of resources.

00:41:06.164 --> 00:41:12.844
There's a technology that's out there that is out there coming out there that will allow you to level the playing field.

00:41:13.114 --> 00:41:22.949
For me the technology and the opportunity for me was I can't spell, but Google can, and so can everybody else with Siri and Alexa and everybody else.

00:41:22.949 --> 00:41:26.204
And so that was why I was able to write a book, right?

00:41:26.204 --> 00:41:31.545
I was able to write a book where I could speak to the mic instead of having to write it on a typewriter.

00:41:31.869 --> 00:41:34.639
Because I can't type because I can't spell and nobody would ever be able to read it.

00:41:35.019 --> 00:41:44.250
And that's where when you're looking for opportunities and with those big opportunities, I'm not going to tell you it's in a sector or a certain thing because I want you to be you and truly what you are.

00:41:44.579 --> 00:41:47.199
I just want you to tell you there's not a lack of resources.

00:41:47.530 --> 00:41:52.159
There is an abundance of resources and especially if you're in America in your life, it may probably.

00:41:53.414 --> 00:42:05.135
I believe in the Virgin Islands, there might be some places in the world where opportunity is and is great, but the opportunity to go out there and become that person and you can work on that because we have.

00:42:05.985 --> 00:42:06.534
Social media.

00:42:06.534 --> 00:42:07.318
We have YouTube, right?

00:42:07.318 --> 00:42:11.925
We have if there's something if I want to be a mechanic, I can learn to be a mechanic on YouTube.

00:42:12.344 --> 00:42:15.514
I don't have to go to, eventually you should probably go to mechanic school or something like that.

00:42:15.514 --> 00:42:18.625
But there because we have unlimited information.

00:42:18.625 --> 00:42:20.335
We just stopped watching rails, right?

00:42:20.344 --> 00:42:23.405
The opportunity is not in watching everybody else.

00:42:23.574 --> 00:42:37.175
Succeed and watching everybody else in life, having, going to a football game and that, and knowing the stats of every player that's on there, fantasy football, unless you're making a lot of money at it and you're spending all day, all week, this week, working on your fantasy football team.

00:42:37.514 --> 00:42:38.304
That's not real.

00:42:38.304 --> 00:42:47.934
It's not, you're celebrating somebody like if I, I love football, I love track, I love athletics, but at the same time, I'm not putting their name on my back, I don't know all their stats.

00:42:47.934 --> 00:42:49.054
I know the stats of my kids.

00:42:49.494 --> 00:42:57.994
I know what my kids are great at, and I find some dads sometimes that can tell me more about what's happening on a football field, and more that's happening with a certain player.

00:42:58.295 --> 00:43:02.065
Patrick Mahomes is an amazing athlete but he doesn't know who I am.

00:43:02.454 --> 00:43:04.824
And if I were to ask him, he would shake my hand.

00:43:05.034 --> 00:43:05.855
He's missing out.

00:43:06.335 --> 00:43:06.574
Yeah.

00:43:08.014 --> 00:43:12.885
so that's the opportunity, opportunities with your family and your relationships and the people that are excellent.

00:43:12.945 --> 00:43:15.824
I think I just wanted to say something about that.

00:43:15.824 --> 00:43:18.644
I think with all the resources, you're absolutely right.

00:43:18.695 --> 00:43:20.434
Like money, resources, everything.

00:43:20.434 --> 00:43:22.324
Knowledge is actually infinite now.

00:43:22.355 --> 00:43:26.554
And it's actually been like democratized and available to all of us to a fault almost.

00:43:26.554 --> 00:43:27.695
'cause it's almost too much.

00:43:27.744 --> 00:43:29.769
But what I think is interesting is.

00:43:30.440 --> 00:43:33.219
Going back to your point about the advice for your younger self.

00:43:34.945 --> 00:43:42.175
Get surrounding yourself with the right people that you can learn from and it is much more important now So like college you'll be defined that way, right?

00:43:42.375 --> 00:43:47.905
It won't be defined because we can learn everything that the people at Harvard are learning right now for free, right?

00:43:48.175 --> 00:44:11.094
But you can't really be around some of these professors that are there and learn from right Warren Buffett he chose to go to Columbia the Columbia School of Business because he knew he was going to learn from I'm drawing a blank, the guy who wrote the classic the book on value investing, security analysis and anyhow, but that's what, that's the reason why he chose that school, but he already knew all that stuff.

00:44:11.125 --> 00:44:13.644
He just knew, Hey, this guy's going to be there and be my mentor.

00:44:13.914 --> 00:44:18.574
So if these guys, and obviously the guys are savant, so we need to learn from that.

00:44:18.585 --> 00:44:21.934
Pick where we're going to, who we're going to hang out with and who we're going to learn from.

00:44:22.385 --> 00:44:22.664
Yes.

00:44:22.695 --> 00:44:23.554
I love that.

00:44:23.954 --> 00:44:34.565
I tell all the athletes, all the people that I teach in our eyes, you, when you go to college, your number one reason for going to college is to network the information that you're learning in class.

00:44:35.114 --> 00:44:36.824
It's going to be obsolete in 10 years anyway.

00:44:36.835 --> 00:44:40.324
So everything you're doing is about who you network with, who you're around.

00:44:41.324 --> 00:44:43.215
And creating associations that will last your life.

00:44:43.505 --> 00:44:45.094
It is, you are a thousand percent, right?

00:44:45.094 --> 00:44:56.605
That is the younger self of me would be saying, okay, how do I get those relationships and wherever I get them, some of it comes from social media, be able to watch stuff, but a lot of it comes from being in places where people are at.

00:44:57.664 --> 00:45:05.605
That you can admire that you can learn from that you can grow from yeah That's a good segue to wrap it up here.

00:45:05.605 --> 00:45:13.534
Dr B if people want to know more about You obviously bring a lot of great energy and knowledge that folks should be tapping into how can they do that?

00:45:14.534 --> 00:45:17.644
Yeah, so my website is bryanearnold.

00:45:17.655 --> 00:45:17.965
com.

00:45:17.965 --> 00:45:21.824
It's bryane, b r y a n e, as in Edward, arnold.

00:45:22.175 --> 00:45:22.755
com.

00:45:23.025 --> 00:45:33.789
And from there, all the things that I'm doing, all my podcasts, all my social media posts, all the different avenues, whether I'm doing living trust or doing mortgages or, Just business coaching in general.

00:45:34.050 --> 00:45:35.119
We'd love to meet up with you.

00:45:35.119 --> 00:45:40.110
There is I love, like I said, I wake up every single morning with the, how can I please my God.

00:45:40.130 --> 00:45:41.179
And how do I serve others?

00:45:41.179 --> 00:45:48.619
And so if there's a way that I can find to serve, whoever's listening to this, or you want to get in places and I can, point you in the right direction.

00:45:48.929 --> 00:45:49.820
That's where.

00:45:50.505 --> 00:45:52.605
I guess my giftedness is in connection.

00:45:52.905 --> 00:45:55.148
And would love to, I would love for you guys to buy my book.

00:45:55.148 --> 00:45:56.349
It's, there is no tiger.

00:45:56.349 --> 00:46:02.929
I think you, I, somebody called me yesterday that wants me to go do a keynote that just said we did a book club with your book.

00:46:03.119 --> 00:46:08.918
And we got through it within we, it was supposed to be a six month book club and they were done with the book in a month and a half.

00:46:09.503 --> 00:46:18.164
And as they meet every week of all the markings and things that they are doing in their lives I would segue to say that it's important to do the things that are in the book.

00:46:18.164 --> 00:46:19.954
It's okay to mark it up and circle it.

00:46:20.003 --> 00:46:23.313
And I think that's where we get when we, oh, this is the greatest book ever.

00:46:23.313 --> 00:46:26.324
What action did you take after you read the book?

00:46:26.563 --> 00:46:27.414
Oh, it was just a good book.

00:46:27.443 --> 00:46:27.693
Then.

00:46:28.054 --> 00:46:29.583
Then you wasted your time reading it.

00:46:29.583 --> 00:46:33.673
If you're not going to do some of the things that are in there, if it's not going to enhance it.

00:46:33.673 --> 00:46:39.983
And and then the next one will come out around Christmas, which is called the decision formula five easy steps to make decisions that will change your life.

00:46:40.224 --> 00:46:45.344
And that is an absolute formula for, I have a decision, whether it's a big decision or a little decision.

00:46:45.574 --> 00:46:51.304
Not as little as what hamburger to eat when you go to McDonald's, because you already know what's on the McDonald's menu.

00:46:51.353 --> 00:46:54.733
It's been the same menu since my lifetime.

00:46:55.074 --> 00:46:58.914
you don't stand at the st Now it's even harder beca you pick.

00:46:59.293 --> 00:47:12.528
But it is a you're making like moving formula that it's more, I Pros and cons, write down the pros and cons.

00:47:12.528 --> 00:47:19.088
And if you have more pros than cons it really goes into do you have any of these disciplines or are you willing to create those disciplines?

00:47:19.318 --> 00:47:20.559
What is the true cost?

00:47:20.659 --> 00:47:22.378
Is it worth giving it my family?

00:47:22.568 --> 00:47:26.378
I would say no on most of those decisions, but it's like a scale that you can do.

00:47:26.378 --> 00:47:30.989
That would be great to do, but yeah, get ahold of me, go to my website and we're off and running.

00:47:31.048 --> 00:47:31.659
I appreciate.

00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:33.208
You guys have me on this thing.

00:47:33.208 --> 00:47:33.918
This is cool.

00:47:34.119 --> 00:47:36.789
We appreciate having you here and we're going to check out your book.

00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:40.719
There is no tiger and Erica, is there anything else you want to say?

00:47:41.148 --> 00:47:42.719
I just wanted to say, Dr.

00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:56.739
B that I hope that you narrate your books and you can have it on audible because I think people would love to hear your positive energy and motivation behind who you are and your voice.

00:47:57.503 --> 00:48:08.824
Through your book, because I just think that you bring a presence that should really be out there that people could feel if they could listen to your voice as they're reading your book.

00:48:09.373 --> 00:48:11.094
I promise you that will happen.

00:48:11.554 --> 00:48:14.994
I keep trying to read and then I start going off into a tangent.

00:48:15.494 --> 00:48:17.755
That's not the way to do it, bro.

00:48:17.755 --> 00:48:18.603
I'm getting there.

00:48:18.603 --> 00:48:22.349
Hopefully, before the end of this year, I'll have At least there is no tiger on audible.

00:48:22.358 --> 00:48:23.159
So that's awesome.

00:48:23.958 --> 00:48:25.309
I love to listen to it.

00:48:25.518 --> 00:48:25.858
Okay.

00:48:25.858 --> 00:48:26.239
Cool.

00:48:26.628 --> 00:48:26.949
Excellent.

00:48:27.329 --> 00:48:28.409
Thanks for being here, Dr.

00:48:28.418 --> 00:48:28.748
B.

00:48:28.748 --> 00:48:31.889
We're going to check out your book and and a new one coming out soon.

00:48:31.918 --> 00:48:34.188
It sounds like it would be a great Christmas gift as well.

00:48:34.759 --> 00:48:36.219
Erica, thank you for being here.

00:48:36.219 --> 00:48:39.748
This has been fun to get back together through the wayfinder show.

00:48:39.898 --> 00:48:40.458
Hope you had fun.

00:48:40.759 --> 00:48:41.438
Thank you.

00:48:41.724 --> 00:48:41.983
Yeah.

00:48:42.253 --> 00:48:42.443
Yeah.

00:48:42.684 --> 00:48:43.204
All right.

00:48:43.253 --> 00:48:43.693
Awesome.

00:48:43.713 --> 00:48:50.503
And if our listeners, if you want to be a guest cohost on here, sign up for our newsletter at wayfindershow.

00:48:50.534 --> 00:48:57.603
com and you'll see some of the amazing guests and you'll be able to have a chance to be here and ask questions of our expert guests like Dr.

00:48:57.603 --> 00:48:57.974
B.

00:48:58.333 --> 00:49:01.244
We have them in all different topics of, you know what we'd like to talk about.

00:49:01.293 --> 00:49:02.403
We've got some good ones coming up.

00:49:03.193 --> 00:49:03.563
All right.

00:49:03.614 --> 00:49:04.373
Thanks everybody.

00:49:04.373 --> 00:49:05.373
And all right.

00:49:05.384 --> 00:49:05.923
Thank you.

00:49:05.923 --> 00:49:06.344
Excellent.

00:49:07.333 --> 00:49:07.963
Great day.

00:49:12.733 --> 00:49:14.494
We hope you've enjoyed The Wayfinder Show.

00:49:14.643 --> 00:49:18.864
If you got value from this episode, please take a few seconds to leave us a 5 star rating and review.

00:49:19.153 --> 00:49:23.403
This will allow us to help more people find their way to live more authentic and exciting lives.

00:49:24.063 --> 00:49:25.364
We'll catch you on the next episode.